Masters '07 Roundup

I was at the 2007 Masters.

That will do it for this years Masters '07 Roundup. Join me next year for another animosity filled edition of the Roundup.

Toodles.

Confirmation for Girlfriends and Wives everywhere..

Leafs Nation (ca-ching!!!)

I have seen evidence that the Chinese government is retaliating for the American viral attack three years ago that came to be known as SARS.

Right here in our very own city of Toronto, there is evidence that people have been afflicted by some mind-numbing, emotion-altering pathogen.

How else to explain the annual support for the Toronto Maple Leafs crawl to the bottom of the Eastern Conference playoff eligibility list.

There is no way any sane person could possibly look at this current collection of has-beens, (I'm talking to you Mats), never-weres (Travis Green, Yanic Perrault come on down!!) and never-will-be's, (Now entering the stadium...Nik Antropov, and Alex Ponikarovsky!!).

I can't take anymore honking horns.
I want the chants - the ever encouraging 'Go Leafs Go!!' to die stillborn in the throats of the deluded.
And the good luck Jerseys being worn in offices around the city need to stop.

(And if you are over 16 and you truly believe that wearing that faded 'Clark 17' jersey is really going to help this collection of pampered millionaires find the gumption to make a run at the Cup, well, then I have some beach front property I need to sell you in the Lower James Bay area.)

If certain facts haven't made themselves clear by now, then let me help you out.

When the stench is this bad for this long where do you point to? Who is the 'leader' of this team?

Ah, there's the rub.

This team is lead by the most overpaid 'Captain' in sports history. Let's call Mats Sundin's time for what it is. A Failure.

To credit him with trying during his shifts is not enough. He needs to make smarter decisions. He has never done well as the go-to guy, but he sells jerseys and in this town, that is just as good.

He is the highest paid Leaf in History, and one of the highest paid hockey players in history. He has little or no NHL success to show for all that cash.


To paraphrase prescient street prophets N.W.A; He ain't the one.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

SPORTS!!! SPORTS!!! SPORTS!!!

Spring is the best time of year for sports fans. Winter is fading, girls are coming out of hibernation and there are 3 (4 if you count MLS) professional sports in full swing. Hockey and basketball are gearing up for the playoffs and almost every game has post season implications. Baseball is still fresh and exciting and has yet to yield to the tedious monotony that comes from a 162 game schedule. The NCAA basketball tournament has just finished another exciting month of college basketball. Even golf fans are getting themselves prepared for another Tiger Woods show at Augusta.

One thing that I am getting sick of is seeing T.J Ford calling his own number at the end of games. Twice last night and multiple times this season, T.J. has decided that he wants to be the hero and failed. Pull up jumper, brick, desperate 3 pointer, brick. Check your self T.J., when the fans chant “MVP”, it isn’t for you. The Raptors have a few guys who are good at hitting big shots: Mo Pete, Luke Jackson, Anthony Parker (it hurts to admit that) and that number 4 guy; so why is T.J. shooting? If Sam Mitchell is running these plays for T.J. then that should be reason enough for Colangelo to dump him at the end of the season. It is ok to lose close games as long as you can say that you gave it your best effort but with Ford taking the final shot can the Raptors say that?

Tonight they play of “other” Florida team. Bosh loves to play Orlando and I expect a huge game for him and a comfortable win for the Raptors.

The Leafs made an exciting night out of what should have been an easy victory. They got lucky with the penalty in overtime but managed to take advantage of it. They still control their own destiny as long as they win out the season but they will have to play better if they want to do that. Sundin can’t be blamed for any of this. He is skating hard every shift and is trying to carry this team. He hasn’t scored much but has assisted on key goals all down the stretch. He will be the most important player in the next two games and I expect him to break out if this slump. I smell a huge game coming up for the big Swede!

Gators “Chop” there way into History

The Florida Gators 84-75 over the Ohio State Buckeyes earned them their second straight national championship. Florida executed a solid game plan that focused on eliminating the Buckeye’s perimeter game. The sent a clear message to the future #1 pick “we don’t think you can beat us alone”. Ohio State thrives on ball penetration and “kicking it out” for open shots. Greg Oden’s presence in the middle forces teams to collapse on him much as NBA defenses have done against Shaq and the Wadeless Heat. Ohio State was unable to adapt to the Gators plan and it was their undoing. Florida unleashed an unselfish, team assault against the Buckeyes; Corey Brewery, Al Hoford, Lee Humphrey, Taurean Green all scored in double figures. Corey Brewer also got the nod for “Most Valuable player”. He was great in the first half and provided the motivational spark that led his team to victory.

This team should go down in history as being one of the best teams to achieve a championship repeat. The NCAA tournament is one of the most competitive and has the smallest margin of error. While the debate continues about who is the “overall” best team in sports history, the 2006-2007 Florida Gators should now be added into this conversation. What’s more unbelievable is that a team of highly talented basketball players as the Florida Gators could actually stay together after winning the championship the first time. In today’s day and age, with student athletes being drawn into professional sports by big pay checks and all the fame that comes with that, the Florida Gators stuck together. They risked big money and gambled on greatness; the gamble paid off.

Florida’s sport programs over the last year have defiantly solidified what being the best really means: winning National Championships. They now have the title of National Champs in basketball and in football. No other sport program in the history of the NCAA has completed winning the National Championship in basketball and football in the same year!

“One more year!!! One more year!!!” ; was what the crowd was cheering after the game. At first I thought that it was really a cliché ending but after thinking about it, even if it wasn’t that same Florida team that took the floor next season a Florida three-peat will put them in even higher company. Only one other team in NCAA basketball history has won three straight championships, the UCLA Bruins, from 1967-1973 (Yeah that’s right seven in a row which is totally unbelievable!). In order to do this Florida must be able to continuously have an amazing recruitment strategy which has been proven already and also handle the extreme adversity of March Madness!!! So you know what I will be saying next year: GO Gators GO!!!


P.S. This was written by our college sports expert Kevin Ramalingam

Salt On Monday

A sweet Salty, and then the Leafs.....

The baseball season is starting today. I know two teams played last night, but this is the real Opening Day. It’s sunny outside and I have been checking the progress of my fantasy Baseball team, FREEPETEROSE, every thirty seconds.

(And by the way, my starting outfielder has hit for two home runs in four innings. You can’t stop Adam Dunn, you can only hope to contain him. What’s done is Dunn. Done and Dunn. I can keep going all day with this…)

The Blue Jays just beat the consensus top team in baseball – the Tigers – in extra innings 5-3.
It is relatively sunny.
I am moving back into my favorite part of the city.
What I am trying to say is I can’t find much salt today.

That is until I watch the Hockey highlights from yesterday.

Now, I see all the Leaf flags flying on cars. I see the packed sports bars when the Leafs are playing, I see the excitement of the sportscasters and writers when the Leafs actually move closer to playoff position.

Frankly it is embarrassing to live in a city where the fans get excited when the team gets closer to a playoff position. I have been watching the Leafs longer than I have been masturbating, and friends, I found my own personal fun stick at an early age. The last time this team had a collection of young stars that had a chance to make some sort of a run at the Stanley cup was in the late seventies.


Darryl Sittler 25 years old.
Lanny McDonald 23 years old.
Borje Salming 24 years old.
Ian Turnbull 22 years old.

In the four seasons starting from 1975, this quartet, Center Sittler, Winger McDonald, Defensemen Salming and Turnbull carried the team and gave true hope to Leaf fans.
Sittler averaged 98.5 points in the four year period starting with the 1975 season. McDonald averaged 88.75. Salming 71 points, and Turnbull 65 points.

Think about Sundin with a winger who wasn’t shit AND they were both under 100 years old. (And actually showed leadership on the ice.) Imagine that instead of Kaberle and McCabe as your top two blueliners, you had a guy who could skate and shoot better than Kaberle and didn’t shy away from taking the body. That was Salming. And instead of McCabe imagine a rear guard that could skate, hit, shoot and wasn’t 55 years old living off his contract year season.

Sittler, Salming, McDonald and Turnbull. Google these guys if you want to see a Leaf team that wasn’t 99% hype.

This current Leaf team sucks.

That Leaf team was young and talented.
May we live long enough to see that again.

SHAQ DADDY

Not only is he the most dominant player ever, he might just be the most entertaining.
He can dunk, board and drop it like it's hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9LmHXXWiJs