Blue Blood

I was Doug Favell.

I was Wayne Thomas.

I was Mike Palmateer – my god we were all Mike Palmateer!!

In the basement stopping point blank wristshots from my brother, I was all of them, those heroes from my Saturday night childhood.

It was 1974 - and I know this because I can trace the date back to the style of mask Doug Favell was wearing - and I had my first sporting memory as a young child.
I was finally allowed along to stay up with my older brothers and watch Hockey Night in Canada. I saw Doug Favell – really the epitome of a journeyman goaltender if there ever was one – playing with that Leaf painted over his mask and I was finished.

I didn’t know what it was that drove my brothers and I to watch hockey on Saturday nights. It wasn’t like our parents were big hockey fans in ’75 – not much hockey talk in Port of Spain, Trinidad. Probably, we wanted to know what all the boys were talking about at recess on Monday morning.
My eldest brother didn’t have a burning desire to become a Hockey player; he wanted to be a musician, or a tennis player like Borg, Ashe, and Connors. ( It was the seventies, remember?) He would watch with us on Saturday night, but he wasn’t sick with it like we were. And by we I mean my older brother and I, separated by 18 months but both riddled with the same disease at nearly the same time.
We share this ailment with millions of others, but Sheldon and I have it bad.
What is this affliction that courses through our veins with such fervor?

We have Blue Blood.

Oh he will tell you that he loves Cam Neely, and Ray Bourque. I might tell you how hard I cheered when Patrick Roy was winning his Conn Smythe trophies for Montreal. Sheldon has Bruins jerseys and I might have a few Habitant posters here and there. But the truth is that for us these other teams are like a kind of vaccine, a temporary fix so the disease doesn’t ruin our love for hockey entirely.
We developed a love for the sport, but there was such disarray at the professional level in Toronto from the seventies up till the early nineties, that you had to find another team to follow in the playoffs because Bill Derlago, Fred Boimstruck and Gary Leeman were going to break your heart everytime. Throw in a big dose of Harold Ballard and it is a miracle that anyone still follows the game in Toronto.

This city is sick with Blue Bloods.
My fiancé’s father, a man from a small island in the Mediterranean, asked me on Monday morning to confirm that the Islanders had won, knocking the Leafs out.
- The Leafs got knocked out didn’t they, he asked.
No need to explain what they got knocked out of. We all knew.
Now I will bet my right arm that my sweethearts Dad couldn’t name a single player on the New York Islander roster, from any era.
I am pretty sure that he probably hasn’t watched a full hockey game in over ten years. But he knew that if the Islanders lost the Leafs would be in. In the Playoffs.
And there are millions like him and millions like me, who have seen the failures and collapses and pyrrhic victories pile up until we couldn’t stand it anymore.

I have a theory that when the Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the city of Toronto will go through a renaissance such as this city has never seen. And don’t get me wrong; I understand that the Leafs winning or losing the Stanley Cup won’t make a lick of difference to my Visa bill. And it won’t make it any easier for Toronto to get its fair share of money from the federal government.

I know all that. I’m not six anymore. Mostly I’m not.

The realized collective dream of a Maple Leaf Stanley Cup victory won’t make a bit of difference to the lives of 99.9 per cent of the individuals who will be celebrating. (Truly it will be the players who would be most impacted by claiming the top honour in their profession).
Individually, it won’t matter, but collectively I think that it will. When we wake up after the parades, - and trust me; there will be more than one – and the parties, and all the hoopla that goes with winning the Cup in a Canadian city, I believe that we all take a deep breath a say, ‘Is that it? Now what?’
Because when the great celebration is over, our Visa bills will still be there. We will still have a government subsidized airport on our waterfront that we don’t want. We will still not know who lives in the apartment next to ours, or the house beside ours, except for that now, maybe we will. Maybe when we all celebrate together, not just the Italians, not just the Greeks, not just the English, or the Sri Lankan. What happens when we celebrate as a City about the thing that we have coveted for so long? Well then, I think we might just change the playing field forever. Instead of this hazy multicultural anxiety that currently defines Toronto, we might all feel confident of our place and proud of our City. We might notice how safe our city is, how many opportunities there are, and how much education is available for our children when compared to cities of comparable size the world over.
We might start to feel blessed to be living here.
(I do know that this type of collective outburst isn’t limited to the Leafs. But like our forlorn team, we haven’t had a local figure emerge to galvanize the GTA since the sixties.)

So don’t call me a ‘hater’ when I point out that this current team can’t win.
Don’t hate me for seeing our current Captain for what he is - a great complimentary player, not a foundational leader.
Don’t curse me for laughing at the statement ‘Andrew Raycroft, big time goalie’.

It’s not that I am insensitive, and I am truly not a hater.

I have a problem, a sickness.
It’s my blood.

It’s Blue.

Leafs Nation (ca-ching!!!)

I have seen evidence that the Chinese government is retaliating for the American viral attack three years ago that came to be known as SARS.

Right here in our very own city of Toronto, there is evidence that people have been afflicted by some mind-numbing, emotion-altering pathogen.

How else to explain the annual support for the Toronto Maple Leafs crawl to the bottom of the Eastern Conference playoff eligibility list.

There is no way any sane person could possibly look at this current collection of has-beens, (I'm talking to you Mats), never-weres (Travis Green, Yanic Perrault come on down!!) and never-will-be's, (Now entering the stadium...Nik Antropov, and Alex Ponikarovsky!!).

I can't take anymore honking horns.
I want the chants - the ever encouraging 'Go Leafs Go!!' to die stillborn in the throats of the deluded.
And the good luck Jerseys being worn in offices around the city need to stop.

(And if you are over 16 and you truly believe that wearing that faded 'Clark 17' jersey is really going to help this collection of pampered millionaires find the gumption to make a run at the Cup, well, then I have some beach front property I need to sell you in the Lower James Bay area.)

If certain facts haven't made themselves clear by now, then let me help you out.

When the stench is this bad for this long where do you point to? Who is the 'leader' of this team?

Ah, there's the rub.

This team is lead by the most overpaid 'Captain' in sports history. Let's call Mats Sundin's time for what it is. A Failure.

To credit him with trying during his shifts is not enough. He needs to make smarter decisions. He has never done well as the go-to guy, but he sells jerseys and in this town, that is just as good.

He is the highest paid Leaf in History, and one of the highest paid hockey players in history. He has little or no NHL success to show for all that cash.


To paraphrase prescient street prophets N.W.A; He ain't the one.

Salt On Monday

A sweet Salty, and then the Leafs.....

The baseball season is starting today. I know two teams played last night, but this is the real Opening Day. It’s sunny outside and I have been checking the progress of my fantasy Baseball team, FREEPETEROSE, every thirty seconds.

(And by the way, my starting outfielder has hit for two home runs in four innings. You can’t stop Adam Dunn, you can only hope to contain him. What’s done is Dunn. Done and Dunn. I can keep going all day with this…)

The Blue Jays just beat the consensus top team in baseball – the Tigers – in extra innings 5-3.
It is relatively sunny.
I am moving back into my favorite part of the city.
What I am trying to say is I can’t find much salt today.

That is until I watch the Hockey highlights from yesterday.

Now, I see all the Leaf flags flying on cars. I see the packed sports bars when the Leafs are playing, I see the excitement of the sportscasters and writers when the Leafs actually move closer to playoff position.

Frankly it is embarrassing to live in a city where the fans get excited when the team gets closer to a playoff position. I have been watching the Leafs longer than I have been masturbating, and friends, I found my own personal fun stick at an early age. The last time this team had a collection of young stars that had a chance to make some sort of a run at the Stanley cup was in the late seventies.


Darryl Sittler 25 years old.
Lanny McDonald 23 years old.
Borje Salming 24 years old.
Ian Turnbull 22 years old.

In the four seasons starting from 1975, this quartet, Center Sittler, Winger McDonald, Defensemen Salming and Turnbull carried the team and gave true hope to Leaf fans.
Sittler averaged 98.5 points in the four year period starting with the 1975 season. McDonald averaged 88.75. Salming 71 points, and Turnbull 65 points.

Think about Sundin with a winger who wasn’t shit AND they were both under 100 years old. (And actually showed leadership on the ice.) Imagine that instead of Kaberle and McCabe as your top two blueliners, you had a guy who could skate and shoot better than Kaberle and didn’t shy away from taking the body. That was Salming. And instead of McCabe imagine a rear guard that could skate, hit, shoot and wasn’t 55 years old living off his contract year season.

Sittler, Salming, McDonald and Turnbull. Google these guys if you want to see a Leaf team that wasn’t 99% hype.

This current Leaf team sucks.

That Leaf team was young and talented.
May we live long enough to see that again.

Calling out the Raps

I love when I am right. The Raptors did exactly what I predicted them to do and won a huge game in Houston. Although Bosh didn’t put up the offensive numbers I called for; he set the tone for the game and his team. The ball movement was fantastic and they had 26 assists on 44 field goals. Ball movement is exactly what was missing during the previous game against the Spurs. Bargnani was outstanding last night. He has been showing flashes of brilliance and every Raptor fan has got to be excited about being able to watch this kid as he grows. My final comment on last night’s game is about what Chuck Swirsky call “Onions”. These Raptors have got them and it shows. They are all playing with a swagger that can be seen and felt by the other team.



Brian Colangelo is looking like a genius by getting rid of Fred Jones for Juan Dixon. I think that Jones was a negative influence and unhappy about his limited role on the team. Dixon is going to step and take the minutes he is given and play as hard as he can. Hopefully he can do for the Raptors what Lindsey Hunter does for the Pistons; provide solid defense and keep the offense flowing while the starters rest. What I love about Colangelo is his decisiveness; he saw that the Jones experiment wasn’t working and made the necessary changes.



The Raptors are going to face a Bucks team tomorrow that is totally different than the one the met up with a couple weeks ago. Redd, Bogut, Charlie V and Mo Williams are all healthy again and Milwaukee is playing well but that isn’t going to make a difference. The Raptors are going to win this game and score 100 plus points while doing it. Bosh is going to get 25 plus points, I can feel it!



TRADE DEADLINES



The NBA needs to take some advice from the NHL on how to work trade deadlines. Basketball sports writers spent weeks writing columns about possible trade only to have nothing happen on the actual day. The NHL had 25 trades including some big names. Edmonton broke the hearts of their fans by trading the club’s most important player. The point is there was drama, real drama. Yes, it was hyped up by TSN and those hacks on Sportnet, but there was still a story. Teams are taking risks to win a championship this year. The NHL has reached a level of parity where one player can make a difference and everyone in the NBA knows it is a three team race and no trade was going to change that.

Oh God It Hurts!

“Ouch, ouch ouch! Daddy, the big boys beat me up!” That’s all the Raptors could say last night. I have said it before, we can’t beat teams and the Spurs are the NBA’s best example of a team. They play tough on both ends of the floor and have arguably the best player of the past 5 years in Duncan. The Raptors have been dominating most of the Eastern Conference but they just aren’t ready to compete with the upper echelon NBA teams.

Bosh and Ford were 9-30 from the floor…that is terrible. Can you imagine a playoff series against these teams? All of the Raptors would have to seek psychiatric care to inferiority complexes. Can you imagine Jorge Garbajosa lying on a couch telling the shrink about how is father forced him to become a dirty, Spanish porn star? He would cry on the couch and explain that he grew that terrible facial hair to protect him from the scratching of unshaven Spanish women. I don’t want to hear that and I don’t want to see the Raptors play the Spurs again for as long as possible. The Raptors have come a long way, but have a long way to go to get to the Spurs level.

Tomorrow night the Raptors face the Rockets. During my time in China, this was the only chance that I had to see the Raptors play. The Raptors generally play well against the Rockets and without Yao Ming in the lineup they stand a very good chance of winning. Bosh is going to bounce back with his standard 25 and 10. The key to this game will be breaking down the Rockets excellent half court defense. We need Ford running hard and Calderon cutting to the net and hopefully get T-Mac to miss some of his own shots. This should be a good game.

One thing that has been bothering me is the lack of a good bar in Toronto where you can watch the Raptors on the same night as the Leafs. I really don’t care about the Leafs right now. They aren’t going to make the playoffs and are boring to watch. Anyone who suffered through the Saturday game against the Flyers has more dedication than I do. This city is going to go Raptor crazy when they are in the playoffs and the Leafs are golfing. Hopefully then, the bars will put them onto the big screens and I won’t have to watch their games on the small side screens. There should be a bar that does Toronto Raptor nights. They show the game big screens and ban Leafs games. I think there is a market for that and if anyone knows a place let me know! As for now, I am off to watch the Leafs get killed by Buffalo because whether I like the Leafs or not, it is the only sports to watch tonight and I love sports.

Ford, Claderon and Gin & Tussin!

T.J. Ford has reclaimed his role as Toronto’s starting point guard. Sam Mitchell and Brian Colangelo are hoping that will be the end of any discussion about who should be starting for Raptors. Too bad Jose Calderon is out playing Ford. Calderon is making a very convincing case for himself to be top point guard for the Raptors. He is hitting big shots, playing great defense and most importantly; he always seems to be getting the ball into the right player’s hands. I know that Ford is the franchise’s point guard for the future; but man it has got to be hard for Mitchell to keep Calderon on the bench. Last night Calderon put up 16 points to go along with 9 dimes and 5 boards compared to Fords 7 points, 7 assists and 1 rebound; Calderon also played one minute less. Right now, I feel more comfortable when Calderon is on the floor running the offense and I think that the team feels the same way. I will be watching closely to see how minutes are dished out.

I hope the Raptors blow out the Nets tonight. Without Kidd and Jefferson on the floor the Raptors should be able to key in on Carter and shut him down. I hate Carter so much!!! He simply gave up on the Raptors and there is no excuse for that. I am happy that he is proving to be an inconsistent player who can’t lead his team into the playoffs. If you want to sell tickets you get Vince Carter and if you want to win championships you get Shaq. Bosh could score 40 tonight. Richard Jefferson has been one of the few players in the East who has proven he can shut Bosh down and he won’t be playing.

The Leafs played a forgettable game last night. What an effort by Rick Dipietro! The Leafs out shot the Islanders 16-1 in the third period and couldn’t put one past the goalie. What must have made every Leafs fan upset was to see what Antropov and Ponikarovsky did in the shootout. These two oafs both decided to try and score on wrists shots?!?! No moves, no stick dangles, not even a head fake; just a wrister in to the pads of the goalie. Maybe they think they are the next comings of Mats Sundin. Sundin scored his shootout goal on an absolutely perfect shot into the top corner of the net. If those two donkeys think that they can just skate up to a NHL goalie and score without making a move then Paul Maurice needs to rethink who he selects for the shootout.

The Leafs should bring back Mogilny to teach some dangles to the next generation. Gary Roberts would have broken Ponikarovsky and Antropov’s neck if they had tried that rubbish with him on the team. If they are going to bring back players then they should also think about getting Belfour to introduce Raycroft to his secret Gin and Tussin’ recipe. Belfour would go through 3 bottles of his recipe every night and still easily stop any rookie in a shootout. Raycroft had a good night but you can’t let some rookie embarrass you like that in a shootout.

It’s hard to be fan of this team and I think most people in the city are jumping on and off the band wagon with every game. They really need to make the sensible decision and rebuild this team.