torontosportsblog

Tuesday Tribute

2007-07-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Posh & Becks.

We've all had these asshats shoved down our throats for the last couple weeks, and I know it's getting tiresome... but trust me, you'll enjoy this week's video. It will give you some real insight into just how stupid these two are. And when I say stupid, I mean completely barren of any intellectual functionality. They appear to have the combined IQ of a 12 year old... with ridiculous implants.

Enjoy!

GARNETT TRADE

2007-07-31T10:14:00.000-05:00

You have to hope that Chris Bosh welcomes challenges; especially big, tall, lanky challenges named Kevin Garnett.
All of a sudden Danny Ainge has switched his team from a bunch of talented but unproven kids to a trio of All Star veterans. Bye, bye Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, Sebastian Telfair, 2 first round picks and hello KG.

Now before any starts gushing over this team the way Alan gushes over the Cowboys let’s think about how this trade will pan out. Boston traded the farm for Garnett and he is worth every bit of it. Last year he put up 22 points per game, 12.8 rebounds, 4.1 assists and 1.7 blocks. He is a team player who has never played with guys as good as Pierce or Allen and after 12 years in Minnesota you have to think that he is happy for a change of scenery. But Garnett isn’t the problem; the problem is Pierce.

Paul Pierce is a high volume shooter who wants the ball in his hands. He has never played with other super stars and I think it will take some time for him to mesh with Allen and Garnett. I think Pierce might pull a Terrell Owens if he doesn’t get enough shots. The other problem is injuries. Garnett has been very durable during his career, but Pierce and Allen have missed substantial time in recent years. Boston will be able to field an awesome starting line up but they have a very thin bench and that is where they will be weak.

I think that Minnesota got a great deal. They were looking at another year of relying too heavily on Garnett and not making the playoffs. They are now stacked with youth and draft picks. Their fans are finally going to get to see something different and it should be exciting.

What does this mean for the Raptors?

Bosh has always said that Garnett is his role model and he is now going to get a chance to compete against him on a regular basis. The good thing is that Bosh is entering his prime and will be quick enough to give Garnett problems; the bad part is that the Raptors have no answer for him on defense. When the Celtics added Allen at the draft I wasn’t too worried because the Raptors play good perimeter defense but Garnett will free up space on the outside by demanding a double team. The Raptors strength needs to come from their bench depth. When the 30 something GAP trio get tired, the Raps will have to make their runs.

What does this mean for the Atlantic?

The addition of Garnett, Allen and Zach Randolph will make the Atlantic division much better and should help shake off the title of leagues worst division. Some sports writers are already hailing Boston as contenders in the East - rubbish…rubbish I tell you - this team will make the playoffs but they will not win the Atlantic division. You can’t just throw three players like this together and assume greatness.

Salt on ... Thursday??

2007-07-26T19:48:00.000-05:00

Well, Salt would like to apologize for the delay in our usual column, but truthfully the sporting landscape has been incredibly bereft of topical subjects to write about.

Ah.
Well.
See, this is the deal.
Salt on Monday, tries to find that niche where the sporting world is taking itself too seriously, or engaging in a round of ‘piling on’. Unfortunately this week has been jammed with the denizens of the Sporting universe behaving in an unconscionable manner. ( But enough about the Staal brothers … )

I don’t know if Michael Vick did or did not engage in dog fighting – a brutal, brutal example of cruelty to animals – but I do know that Mr. Vick won’t have to worry about wins and losses for a little while. The Federal Government has indicted Vick. Yeah, that’s right, the G-Men slapped papers on Mike. That means this isn’t a case where you can distract Boss Hogg and Sherriff Coltrane with some short/shorts and slip out the back door. These are the guys who recently added Lord Black of Crossharbour to their win totals.

Federal Prosecution operates at about a 95% success rate in the U.S.A., so I don’t think that Mike Vick will be thinking about much else beside how to get the hell off of these charges.

That said, I find it interesting that the Vick episode is getting far more press coverage than the NBA scandal, where one ref is on the verge of being arrested by the F.B.I. for his involvement in 'fixing' the professional games that he was officiating. Now, I get that the NBA earns its share of bad publicity due to the actions and prima donna attitude of many of it’s stars, but did you ever, ever, ever think that the name and face that would threaten the very viability of the Association would be a 5’7” dude of Irish descent?

And make no mistake the NBA is in big trouble here. While match fixing may be a semi regular event in Europe and Asia, here in the puritanical West, we prefer our sporting cheats to fly under the radar. We watch sports because we don’t know what is going to happen, and when we think we do know what will happen, we contribute to the billion dollar sports betting underworld – because sport betting is illegal in North America don’t you know (well, outside of Vegas and Atlantic City). So while the horrendous exploits of a prime NFL star should be taking up a lot of headline space, so too should what just might be the beginning of the end of the NBA as we know it.

But somehow, Mike Vick is selling waaaaay more papers. (and more page views … )

Tuesday Tribute

2007-07-24T18:39:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate my most favourite movie, "Caddyshack".

This afternoon I was thinking about the first movie I ever saw on videotape. I couldn't come up with it exactly, but I was able to narrow it down to one of these 4 movies: Krull, Excalibur, Alien, or Caddyshack. All were nominated for Best Movie, I'm sure... but Caddyshack really made an impression on my young mind.

If you haven't seen it, then we can't be friends... sorry.

Let's examine how my life has been influenced by this movie:

1) Lacy Underall showed her boobs, and was blonde with blue eyes. I like boobs, and tend to be attracted to blondes with blue eyes.
2) Ty Webb was a guy who's life revolved around his golf game. Although I'm not as rich as Ty Webb, I too have shaped my life to maximize the time I can spend on the golf course.
3) Spaulding was a fat, spoiled loud mouth idiot. I call my friends Spaulding all the time.
4) Danny Noonan had some crazy hair, and Irish girls loved him. I had crazy hair for most of my life, and I like Guinness.
5) Kenny Loggins created the theme music for Caddyshack, including "I'm Alright". I too am alright, and have a theme song from Kenny Loggins, entitled "Danger Zone".
6) Carl Spackler was tormented by a groundhog. I am tormented by sexy ladies, ALL THE TIME. They just won't leave me alone.

So let this be a lesson to all you parents out there... the things your children see on TV when they are young will influence their lives forever. Just ask Alan, his parents made him watch "Second Place is Just Fine For Me". :)

I wasn't joking, he really is my hero.

Carl Spackler has THAT going for him.

If Rodney Dangerfield made it to heaven, this is what he's doing.

"Move over Swanson, I'm driving!"

My firstborn shall be named Porterhouse.

Hope you enjoyed... see you next week!

Tuesday Tribute

2007-07-18T19:38:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Sportscenter(re) commercials.

There really isn't much analysis needed here... just watch and enjoy.

And finally... one for my lady friend... Go Bucks!

I was planning on making this weeks entry a tribute to college football, but thought I would hold off for a couple weeks. Let's just say that I have a massive NCAA Football post brewing!

Salt On Monday

2007-07-15T22:34:00.001-05:00

"We’re not trying to build a nation or whatever. We just go out and do our jobs.”
Edmonton Oiler C.E.O. and NHL Board of Governors member Patrick Laforge giving a careful answer to the question of whether or not another team in Southern Ontario would prosper on Bob McCowans radio show ‘Prime Time’ on the Fan 590 AM.

You say Balls-ly and I say Ball-silly.
Salt on Monday isn’t saying either; rather, Salt is calling BULLSHIT!
The ever twisting and turning saga of whether or not BlackBerry Billionaire Jim Balsillie will or won’t get to own an NHL franchise and move it to Hamilton marches onward. (And if you count the amount of times you have read or heard the phrase ‘BlackBerry Billionaire Jim Balsillie’ in the past six weeks and don’t get to over a gajillion, well then, I wish you a hearty welcome back from your time spent in a coma!)

Everyone and his dog Blue are chiming in. (Actually, I haven’t heard anything from Don Cherry regarding the Hamilton Predators.)
First theory up is the Ever Popular ‘The Leafs just ain’t havin’ it’ theory espoused by one Steven Brunt.

Next we get the Kanye Westesque ‘Bettman hates Canada theory’ penned by the illustrious Elliote Friedman.

And last, we have the Worldwide Sports Leaders Hockey Guy Scott Burnside chiming in with the conspiracy laden ‘Bettman backed into a corner’ theory complete with How-to’s regarding escaping said corner. (I know! I didn’t think that ESPN still paid guys to cover Hockey!)

The truth is that we won’t know the truth. Or not for a long while anyway. And does it even matter? The NHL is a for profit enterprise based in New York City with 80% of it’s franchises in the United States, and also pays it’s workers – quite handsomely by the way – in Yankee Dollars. Can someone explain to me why Canadians feel as if the NHL is somehow a national treasure?
It isn’t.
Hockey, and the way it is woven into our National Fabric is a glorious thing to behold, and is as Canadian as a Halifax style falafel.
The fact that I could probably round up twenty or thirty guys for a pick up game within fifteen blocks of my house in under two hours is a glorious thing to behold. ( Like we could get ice time anywhere!)

Let’s separate the NHL and our love for the game of hockey sooner rather that later ok? Because a slavish adhereance to that principle is what keeps the Leafs rolling in money and Sans A Stanley Cup final appearance in the last 40 years.
(Say it with me everyone ‘Nineteen Sixty-Seven, Nineteen Sixty-Seven, Nine ah screw it)

But I digress.

Fantasy Update!!

For most fantasy keeper leagues this is make it or trade it away time - if you aren’t going to win and you can’t keep everyone, why not try and trade that big bat for a draft pick next year.

Unfortunately in my Keeper League, I have been running in second place to Bradley – another poster here – who has the good fortune to have both Arod and Russell Martin on his team.

Don’t get me wrong.
I’m not throwing in the towel here, it is just going to be hard to catch a team that has Arod hitting the ball like it was set up on a tee, and a catcher that steals bases and hits for average.

(I’m not totally finished though; Johan Santana is starting his post all-star run where he usually goes 10-0 with 100 K’s and an E.R.A. of 0.90. But Russell Martin is a Killer. Getting stolen bases from the catcher position is almost unfair. As a matter of fact, I am going to petition the commissioner about this, unless he is busy trying to keep his team above 100 points and in a solid tie for seventh place. Nice work Stinky. When Aaron Rowland is your best outfielder you got problems.)

So while it may be a sad season where my team FREEPETEROSE doesn’t get to invoke the Droit D’Seigneur upon taking over first place, we do have the Football season to look forward to.

(Truth be told this league lost a lot of it’s legitimacy when someone dropped Felix Hernandez in May - !!!!!! – and most recently there was a dubious trade where one bottom feeder traded with his ‘brother in-law’ and received Chone Figgins and Vlad Guerrero for Kevin Youklis, Micheal Cuddyer, Aaron Hill and a second and fifth round pick. First off, I think that relatives – unless they are both sports addicted competition junkies – should have any and all moves between their teams regulated by the entire league. It’s just too easy for someone to get the benefit of a lopsided trade just because somebody took out the garbage, or made dinner out of turn. We’ll have to keep an eye out for this in the Fall if Chris allows his sweetie to enter – and be subsequently crushed – our Football league this year. Chris, let her in; she knows all the players now since she changed favorite teams about twelve times last year. Hey tell her the Giants have a Pretty Blue colors in their away uniforms.…)

That’s all today people, but watch out for the TSB’s NFL primer coming this week and ladies hold onto your self respect; I’m bringing the Alan Morris vintage 1994 goatee back.
That’s right, I did it.
I’m bringing Sexy back.

Tuesday Tribute

2007-07-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira.

As I promised last week, there would be many MMA posts to come... and here is the first.

Minatauro is a 240 pound heavyweight fighter out of Brazil. Although he has all that weight, he specializes in submissions by way of his Jiu-Jitsu. He's not flashy, and doesn't speak much english, but he has 2 things going for him: a kick ass nickname in Minotauro, and the fact he has beaten every top heavyweight that matters.

On Saturday night, he took on Heath Herring for the 3rd time. He won the first 2 fights. I won't spoil the video for you, but let's just say that this is a very entertaining fight (for heavyweights).

And btw... I might change my middle name to Minotauro... Albert just isn't very sexy.

Part 1

Part 2

Bonus: Strip Basketball (Kimmel rules)

2007-07-09T18:49:00.000-05:00

NASCAR

Ordonez

Nickelback

Venus

Salt on Wednesday

2007-07-04T15:11:00.000-05:00

We here at Salt on Monday were having such a grand ol’ time celebrating Canada’s celebratory day that we ended up not putting forth our usual Monday Salt. However, we have for you instead, Salt on Wednesday!!!

(That’s the good thing about Salt. It is always ready to be spread any day of the week.)

Let’s start by saying fare thee well to one of the most iconic heroes south of the border, Captain America.

The Marvel Comic empire has decided to kill off it’s erstwhile symbol of the American nation in an attempt to mirror the sense of division and turmoil in The US of A. While I don’t think that killing off a fictional character is ever truly worthy of grief – after all, the fictional character can easily be resurrected, since the laws of science don’t exist in the minds of the writers who dream up heroes who can fly and shoot webbing out of their wrist – it must be noted that the good Cap’n never got to realize the potential that he was destined for.

Originally conceived as a propaganda tool to push the Americans into WWII – like many comics of that era – Cap’n never got the popular support of his DC rival Superman. Losing out every Halloween to Superman in costumes sold, and having a straight to video movie instead of a 5-movie franchise with a theme song that is embedded into the psyche most people on this continent, the good Captain was probably put out of his misery. After all the view from second place is the rear end of the front runner, and after 40 plus years of looking at Superman’s butt, you gotta think that Cap said ‘no mas’.

But don’t fret Cap’n lovers as it turns out that Marvel has killed off and resurrected the hero no less than twelve times and Salt thinks we haven’t seen the last of America’s favourite runner up.

I digress.

As JFJ turns….

It must be hard to operate as a NHL GM in the biggest hockey market on the planet with only a series of one year contracts as security/leverage.
But our JFJ is doing it.
Salt is no longer on the bash the GM wagon. We see that the corporation formerly known as the Toronto Maple Leafs is stringing along their GM with a series of one year deals while openly casting around for an old hand to guide their Hockey operations.

If that isn’t a recipe for a Stanley Cup run then I don’t know what is.

But to his great credit, The AmaZing JFJ has managed to sign a REAL winger for Mats Sundin without paying stupid Ranger money, and found a REAL goaltender to replace Raycroft.
Jason Blake – JBLOCK muh***ckker!!! – is 34 but has only been in the NHL for 8 years. So he doesn’t have the usual wear and tear of a fourteen-year NHL veteran. What he does have is s.p.e.e.d and you can bet that Mats and Thomas Kaberle will be looking to hit him on the fly all season. The AmaZing JFJ also managed to pay him four million rather than the Rangeresque type of deal that makes me wonder what the lockout was all about.

( How can you pay Chris Drury and Craig Janney, uh, I mean Scott Gomez seven million dollars over five and seven years? I mean is there any sense in locking up players who won’t be of much use during the playoffs – and weren’t this year? At least now Bobby Holik won’t be remembered as the worst signing in recent Ranger history. But is anything as crazy as paying Todd – the Animal – Bertuzzi eight million dollars over two years? Brian Burke is bullet proof right now isn’t he.
I am sure that Steve Moore is going to get a deal at least twice as big as that as soon as his head stops spinning.)

Tuesday Tribute

2007-07-03T21:40:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Kid Dynamite, Mike Tyson.

I thought that someone on the interweb should pay tribute to this rarest of sports icons before he... and his sport, pass away. It is true, and undeniable that boxing has run it's course. We were lucky to live in a time where we got to see a sport come to it's climax, and culminate with a man that embodied everything both good and bad about it.

He was the most dominating boxer I ever saw live, or on tape. His raw power was unmatched. I've read interviews where some of his former opponents admit to being scared to fight him (unheard of in the boxing world). He simply mashed his competition.

Outside of the ring, he was a sad case. He was pulled in many directions, and had no control over his life, his money, or his career. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, i'm sure. All his troubles landed him in jail a couple times, and cost him everything he had (a couple times). I would even argue that most of his trouble wasn't even his fault.

Nonetheless, this guy really won't be alive very long. And, neither will boxing. Mixed Martial Arts (of which we'll see many Tuesday Tributes) is a much better product, and is already making alot more money than boxing.

MMA is the future... and I expect Mike Tyson to give it a shot before he packs it in. They'll offer him 10 million, and he'll take it because he'll need it. This meeting will be the true passing of the torch to MMA....

...and the passing of a man who was the epitomy of boxing's best... and worst.

The good...

The bad...

The ugly.

NBA NEWS

2007-06-29T11:06:00.001-05:00

Just a couple of thoughts from last night over hyped NBA draft and how it will affect the Raptors. The biggest news has to be the arrival of Ray Allen and Zach Randolph to the Atlantic Division. While everyone is focused on Oden and Durant, this division just got a lot better. These are two very good players who will make Boston and New York better. Allen doesn’t worry me too much as the Raptors generally play good perimeter defense and the chances of Allen and Paul Pierce staying healthy all year are pretty slim. Randolph is more of a problem. He is one of the few big men in the league who play very well against Bosh. The Knicks are going to be able to put Randolph and Eddie Curry on the floor at the same time and at a combined weight of 543 pounds, that is a lot of beef.

The Raptors had a quiet day even though there were rumors swirling around Jose Calderon and Bargnani. I am sure that GM Brian Colangelo listened to lots of offers over the past week but he knew that he was in control of any trade and clearly no one was willing to meet his price. I have complete faith in Colangelo and in this case no move was the best move. He did pick up the rights to Greek forward Giorgos Printezis for a 2008 second round pick. A good move as the Raptors need players not picks.

The draft turned out to be pretty boring but this year’s crop of rookies promise to be exciting. I am looking forward to seeing how they do and if they are as good as all the hype. The impending controversy with the Milwaukee Buck’s first round pick, Yi Jianlian, should be interesting. I haven’t been able to find the reason he doesn’t want to play there so let me know if you know anything. M.J. is going the path of Gretzsky as being a great player and terrible GM. J Rich? Why? The guy can’t play defense and will probably have some kind of injury for a portion of the year. They needed a big name to help Emeka Okafor not a huge contract. Jordan needs to go back to shucking underwear and leave the drafting to professionals.

Tuesday Tribute

2007-06-26T22:40:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Gino Odjick. Don't be confused... I'm talking about the Gino Odjick that played in the NHL, not any other Gino Odjick you may have had in mind.

I'm not sure how big Gino's balls are, but my guess is that they resemble small planetoids. Holy crap this guy is tough. How tough you might ask? Well, lets review his career highlights...

In Gino's 12 years in the NHL...
-most goals in a season: 16
-most assists in a season: 13
-most points in a season: 29
-career goals: 64
-career assists: 73
-career points: 137
-career penalty minutes: 2,567

Hmmm... I wonder if he played in the NHL for 12 years because of his passing skills? This guy beat the crap out of everyone... almost literally.

I have to admit that I'm a big Bob Probert fan... but Gino really is one of a kind.

Gino beating up St.Louis (all of them)

Gino beating up Buffalo, after crunching Hasek

Gino says hi to Todd Harvery

Salt on Monday

2007-06-25T13:31:00.001-05:00

The NHL draft just passed and you can still feel the excitement! Three hours of Pierre ‘Blue Sky’ McGuire, Bob ‘no Doug’ McKenzie, and Farhan (Farhan?) Lalji screaming at you for three hours on a Friday evening! If that isn’t riveting television, then I just don’t know what excites you.

Don’t forget that we also had the thrilling MLB draft this weekend as well!
Wow, yet another draft featuring players that we have never heard of and won’t see for about three years. This is sports broadcasting at it’s best.

There are only two sports leagues that have relevant drafts; the NFL and the NBA.
Why?
The NHL and MLB draft is essentially a draft to stock their minor league teams and develop these players for the future.
The NFL and the NBA draft out of their developmental league – otherwise known as the NCAA. And the beauty of this system is that these leagues don’t even have to worry about funding this NCAA thing as the players aren’t ‘paid’ – stop laughing Chris Webber!! – and the Pro leagues get finely tuned athletes at an age where they can contribute immediately.
In football and basketball, the top picks most often go from high draft pick to on the field impact player in the first year. (In fact if you are a first rounder in either league and you aren’t starting or making a huge contribution, then you are largely considered a bust or a Redskin..)

How far will this notion of a televised draft go? Are we going to start televising the draw for poker tournaments? Or has that already happened.
If someone wants to televise the CFL draft, I might just start living in a park and drinking after-shave for the buzz.

BTW, Bill Simmons kills the NHL draft. You gotta read it.

When Sports Writers Attack!!

I know you all must have been distracted by the momentous hockey and baseball drafts this past weekend, and you might have missed out on a media spat that spilled out of Colorado.
Turns out that a longtime Colarado beat writer Adrian Dater has taken offence to the talking heads at the WORLDWIDE LEADER ESPN, and he flipped out on his blog - the blog is known as ‘The Masterdater Mail bag’. Seems Mr. Dater is sick of ESPN stealing stories and calling it their own. He wants some respect for the guys in the trenches who dig out all those great quotes that the humorists and on air commentators use on their shows and online columns.
Really?
Here is a beat writer, the guy who is forced to go into dressing rooms and get that precious ‘110%’ quote and he is bemoaning a lack of respect for what he does.
Thanks Adrian, I don’t know what I would do without your post game interviews – “the guys were really working tonight”, “ they just kept coming”, “there is no quit in this dressing room” – because everyone knows that the most interesting quotes in the sports world come from players talking to beat writers who are compelled to suck up to the athletes in order to maintain access (and their jobs). In fact Adrian, I’ll give you the post game quotes after the first regular season Avalanche game.

IF THE AV’s WIN:
Paul Stastny – “ I really had good jump out there tonight, I think the whole team is a lot more comfortable with each other this year

Joe Sakic – “ We are really starting to put it together, hopefully we can stay injury free and keep this going.”

Peter Budaj – “I was seeing the puck really well tonight”

Ken Klee – “You want to talk to me?”

IF THE AV’s LOSE;

Paul Stastny – “We just didn’t have any jump out there tonight.”

Joe Sakic – “ We have to put this together. Guys have to realize that training camp is over and we have to get going.”

Peter Budaj – “ I just wasn’t seeing the puck well tonight”

Ken Klee - “ You want to talk to me?”

There you go Adrian. Free of charge. Take the night off, do something nice with your wife or girlfriend.
I am a river to my people.

And finally, (because it seems like this column has gotten all serious like) ,it seems the Anaheim Ducks really know how to celebrate that Cup win.

Tuesday Tribute

2007-06-19T12:30:00.000-05:00

Holla!

Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate Team Canada. Huh? In June? Oh yes, my friends... Team Canada in June!

In anticipation of the major soccer match on Thursday vs. the U.S.A., I thought it would be nice to teach you all a thing or two about what our national team has been doing at the Gold Cup this year.

Team Canada has earned a berth in the semi-finals this year in the CONCACAF Gold Cup tournament south of the border, and has done so with some very exciting footy. After a sluggish start, they are really turning it on. As a matter of fact, they are playing so well that Team Canada's world FIFA ranking has jumped to #56, from #94. If they can pull off the upset against the U.S. (which I think they can), then that ranking will continue to improve.

This all comes as a surprise, as Canada's Soccer Asscociation (CSA- governing body of National Soccer in Canada) had no plans on being competitive in this tournament. It seems that the focus of the CSA is qualifying for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa (if you ask me, that's exactly where it should be).

In any case, this team is showing great improvement over the past few months. In my opinion, the problem with Canada's soccer program has always been about experience. We simply don't have our National team playing in enough competitive matches. This is simply a matter of having enough bodies on the pitch. Most of our decent players have been overseas in recent years, and we haven't had enough quality men to put together a competitive team. Other countries can do without their stars, as they have the depth to replace them. This year however, with the rise of the MSL and Toronto FC, more and more of our players are closer to home and are more available to take part in the National program. This trend will continue, as will the skill level of our team.

I think we're seeing early signs of progress this year in the Gold Cup. Canada's offence really is a thing of beauty. The defence could be tightened up a little, but they really are playing more and more like a team. Dwayne De Rosario was just awesome vs. Guatemala last week. His teammate, Ali Gerba (probably the coolest name ever on the National team) is also down right nasty around the goal.

Team Canada is alot of fun to watch, and with a victory on Thursday they could show the world just how far they've come.

Quarterfinal Highlights: Canada 3-0 Guatemala

You know you've made it when your video clips have Euro-dance music!

Salt on Monday

2007-06-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

Hello people and say welcome back to your favorite weekly column ‘Salt on Monday’. The beginning of June is the slow season for sporting addicts, and the busy season for their mates. Between weddings, stags, engagement parties, and family issues, Salt on Monday couldn’t give you a column last week.

But we’re back, and while we are happy that the NBA, and NHL have crowned champions, and the NFL is merely six weeks away from training camp, we can still find some salty issues to share with you.
As always, I am a river to my people. A salty, bitter, sour river.

ALERT!! ALERT!!! ALERT!!!
Breaking news folks, the Stanley Cup finalists the Ottawa Senators have decided to part ways with their GM John Muckler. Seems second place just doesn’t agree with Billionaire Eugene Melnyk. I guess Melnyk saw what we all saw; that Ottawa would still wilt when you came at them head on. The Leafs used that trick every time they played the Bytown skaters in the playoffs, and battered them into submission. This year, Pittsburgh tried to skate with Ottawa – and that might work for Pittsburgh next year – but their young team couldn’t match the Senators. New Jersey tried to go Trap to Trap, and see who could execute the left wing lock with more proficiency, but without a monster performance from their best player Brodeur, the Devils went away with a whimper. You already know how I feel about Buffalo. A pretend team full of perimeter players just wasn’t going to make the cup finals.

So when Anaheim decided to punch the Sens in the face, they didn’t punch back. They just didn’t have the players with the type of grit needed to punch back at the end of this six-week tournament.

That said, they made the freaking finals people!!! What does new G.M. Brian Murray have to do to keep his job? Well, the first thing I would suggest to him is that he not hire a coach with General Managing experience, because that tends not work out so well.
Just ask John Muckler.

Both the NBA and the NHL had horrible television ratings for their finals. The finals in the NBA topped out at a 6.9 million share out of the 113 million television households in the United States. To make sense of that number just think that the LOWEST ranked NFL game last year was the 2nd Monday Night Game of the opening weekend (San Diego vs the Raiders) - after the Opening Thursday game, the Sunday day and night games, and after the 1st Monday Night Football game – and that was only available on Cable and was watched by 7.9 million households. As to the NHL television ratings in the USA, let’s just say that if Chris, Brad and I drove to Buffalo and watched the finals in a bar we might just have doubled the national ratings.

What is the answer for these two leagues? Well Don Cherry has the answer.
(Note to Don. There is NASCAR and then there is Demolition Derby.
NASCAR has millions of fans and commands a huge television audience.
Demolition Derby is a staple of county fairs all across the south.
Sometimes the Demolition Derby winner gets to take home the winning purse of a basket of homemade biscuits with chittlin’s.
NASCAR winners fly home in their private jets with millions of dollars in prize money and endorsements.
More fighting turns the game of hockey into Demolition Derby, not NASCAR.)

THE HAMILTON STEELERS? THE HAMILTON STINKERS?
THE HAMILTON notMAPLELEAFS?

What will Blackberry Billionaire call his new toy, formerly known as the Nashville Predators? I know there are a lot of people out there who think that the Leafs will never allow a team within their NHL mandated ‘Competition Zone’. Well that was until a man with some big stones walked into the picture. As soon as Jim Balsillie worked out a deal in principle with Preds owner Craig Leipold, who got tired of losing money, to pay a whopping $220 million for the team - which was only valued at $111 million in 2004 - did you notice the announcement from the Federal Governments Competition Bureau regarding NHL Non-Compete clauses. Must be something of a coincidence right?
Balsillie is overpaying for the team in order to pave the way for a move into Southern Ontario. No way is Leipold leaving $220 million on the table no matter what the NHL Board of Governors says. And will the owners of the Atlanta Thrashers or the Tampa Bay Devil Rays object to the sudden increase in the value of their team? Will they give back the millions of dollars they stand to gain from a television deal in an area that is crazy about Hockey? Get ready Leaf fans, yet another team in southern Ontario will get to the Cup Finals before the Leafs do.

And Finally….

Is Tiger on the clear?????
And will his nipples just remain erect indefinitely?

A Fire Side Chat

2007-06-07T11:14:00.001-05:00

Alright, we here at torontosportsblog have been wrong about almost everything this spring. Wrong about the Raptors, Pistons, all the hockey matchups and Brad’s sexuality (He has a crush on the crazy manager in the first video below. After watching the video Brad sighed; ‘I wish he would toss me like he tossed that base’.) So god dammit, we are going to be right about this.

Tonight the NBA playoffs will begin and Lebron James has a chance to forever separate himself from the Jordan comparisons. At 22, Jordan was not anywhere close to leading his team to the finals and when he did finally get there he had better players around him than James does. Lebron can smell his destiny, he can feel himself hoisting the championship trophy in one arm and the playoff MVP trophy in the other. Too bad the only think he is going to feel is the cold, hard bitch slap of the Spurs. The Spurs are too good of a TEAM for the Cavs and they are not going to implode the way Detroit did.

You think Gary Bettman is a little bit jealous of David Stern right now? Hockey just finished one of the most boring Stanley Cup finals I have ever watched. Other than Alfredsson trying to break Niedermayers knee with a slap shot and a Pronger elbow, there wasn’t much to talk about. The series received the lowest ratings EVER for NBC…..hmmmm….that doesn’t bode well for a new T.V. contract Gary.

The NBA, on the other hand, is about the showcase its brightest young star on its biggest stage. If Lebron can make keep this series close the ratings will be huge. Think of the marketing: “One man against the best team of the decade. Can the King defeat his enemy and rule his kingdom?”

David Stern secretly wants Lebron to win. Even though the NBA has been pushing the team concept with its “It takes 5” commercials, it is way easier to market a player than a team. Lebron obviously wants this too. This series could play right into his goals of “Global Icon” and first sports billionaire. If he wins this championship we will see him shucking every product in every country in the world; his agent must be drooling at the prospect. Too bad he isn’t going win.

I predict a 5 game series ending in a Spurs victory. I love Lebron but right now Duncan has a better team and is a smarter player. No one has been able to consistently beat the Spurs and that isn’t going to change now. Let’s hope I am wrong. Let’s hope this is a great series that goes 7 games because after this we have a long, long, long wait for anything other than baseball highlights. The guys at the Score and TSN are getting ready to join sports fans in the annual numbing of the brain that summer brings. Imagine having to try and make a half hour sports show with nothing but baseball highlights for 3 months. They should get Pierre McGuire hopped up on speedballs to do highlight packages for Jays games. His shiny, bulbous head might explode as he desperately tries to make people get excited about Jason Phillips striking out for the 4th time in one night. I would love to see Jody Vance get drunk and start making fun of all the country bumpkins she works with at Sportsnet (who in their right mind watches that channel for any reason other than to look at her?).

Well enough of that. I hope you have enjoyed the fire side chat with the Young Master. Remember, if you need any advice on any type of fantasy sport or any sports in general I am the one to contact and will be able to answer all your questions.

Go Dunn Go!

Tuesday Tribute

2007-06-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

Holla!
Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate "Crazy Baseball Manager". Autoracing fans go to autoraces to get shitfaced and hopefully see a bad accident. A-Ball fans go to baseball games to get shitfaced and hopefully see this...

Highlight at 1:16: Hunting Wabbits

Highlight: He manages the Montgomery Biscuits!

Highlight at 1:07: I didn't sign up for this shit!

For more "Crazy Baseball Manager" craziness, talk to Chris about how his fantasy baseball team is doing. HA HA (pretty crappy!)

Salt on Monday

2007-06-04T18:01:00.000-05:00

Today folks, your esteemed author got some air time on the celebrated Fan590 radio station. Prime Time Sports host Bob McCowan reacted to some recent comments by one Gary Sheffield.

Sheffield basically said that Latin players were easier to control and that black players wouldn’t be controlled as easily.

Sheffield’s comments are indefensible. Had he said that MLB teams have more leverage over Latin players in that they control their ability to work in North America and run virtual baseball sweatshops in Latin countries where the options are either beg for food or learn to steal third base. ( And doesn’t this information put a new face on that fabled Blue Jay camp in the Dominican town of San Pedro de Macoris. ‘Hey Tony Fernandez, you’re going to snag grounders for the next 13 hours or you can go stand outside the resort and beg for pennies with the rest of your family… ’)

He didn’t say that.
He is an idiot to be sure.

So when a caller phoned in to Prime Time sports complaining that nothing would happen to Sheffield over these comments because Sheffield is black, McCowan agreed. I heard this and immediately called in. (Actually I was on hold with Prime Time because I was going to comment on the dirtiest player in the league Chris Pronger, but more on that later..)

McCowan agreed to the caller who felt that black athletes had some kind of carte blanche regarding public comments, and that nothing would be done to Sheffield because of this media pass.

I called in to correct these guys.

Nothing will happen to Gary Sheffield because he can hit Major League pitching – with power - at around a .300 average, not because he is black. That is the truth of the sporting world today.

The second part of the McCowan characterization was the feeling that White athletes don’t make controversial statements like this because they would be run out of their sport if they did.

White athletes don’t have to make comments about anything because there isn’t a sport out there that discriminates against them. The sporting world mirrors the real world. Nobody got fired because black athletes weren’t allowed to play Quarterback in the NFL until about 1984. No one gets up in arms about the automatic ‘leadership qualities’ that prospective white athletes get or the automatic ‘natural athlete’ tag that black athletes get.

I digress.

When Pronger Attacks.

Well Chris Pronger has done it again. This time he throws a well-concealed forearm into the face of Dean McCammond and concusses him. And even though Pronger had been suspended for THE EXACT SAME ACT (blow to the head) in the previous round and suspended for one game, the NHL cannot bring itself to suspend this repeat offender for anything more than a single game.

Is there a job with less accountability that of head of NHL player suspensions? They could have given Pronger an award and no one would have been surprised. They could have baked him a banana chocolate cheesecake and no one would have been surprised. Nice work Colin Campbell!!

I thought that this series would have hinged on the ability of the Ottawa forwards to harass and tire out the Anaheim defensemen. Turns out that this series is being defined by the emergence of Ray Emery, the tenacity of the Senators second and third line players, and the emergence of Cory Perry and Ryan Getzlaf. What it hasn’t been about is the cASH line – Alfredsson, Heatly, Spezza – or Andy McDonald/Teemu Selanne. The skill players have disappeared in this series in part because the Ducks don’t mind playing what they consider to be close to the ‘edge’ and the Senators have decided to match them clutch for clutch and grab for grab. Unfortunately for Anaheim, the refs have been calling them for more and more penalties and that is going to serve as their epitaph if things don’t change.

The Young Master Says

2007-06-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else sick of looking at Rachael Ray? Anyone? Well I am and I don’t care if Alan thinks she is ‘sneaky hot’. There was a meeting of the Torontosportsbloggers minds on Sunday night. It was an eventful evening filled with chicken wings, small white man beer (aka Coors Light) and general hazing of Alan's poor baseball fantasy management (he traded Adam Dunn for Brian Giles!?!?!). During this time we outlined our plan for this illustrious website and how we can bring its dedicated readers, all 8 of you, a better experience. What exactly did we discuss? Well that is top secret information, but rest assured, it includes more hate and salt than you can possibly handle. Enough about us, let talk about sports.

UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship for those of you with the same IQ as the fighters) has finally broken into the mainstream of sports. The Liddell/Jackson fight drew huge crowds and was the most talked about sporting event of the weekend. UFC provides similar drama to professional wrestling but with the added bonus of inflicting real pain. Didn’t John Lennon say “All you need is blood”? I personally don’t really like UFC but when there are good knockouts, the ones that hurt your soul, it is makes for great watching.

Those same knock outs are also making news. Sports Illustrated has an article about UFC violence on their cover this week. This isn’t a sport that you sit down and watch with your 10 year old, but the UFC promoters don’t care about that market. The sport is rapidly growing and both men and women enjoy watching the beatings. A woman in my office recently mentioned how much she likes UFC; clearly a lust for violence doesn’t follow gender lines. I should ask my wife what she thinks; I have a feeling she would really like it. She is a New Zealander and under the calm Kiwi exterior there is a blood crazed lunatic as evidenced in that country’s history of cannibalism and love of Rugby.

Violence has always attracted fans/mobs and is the subject of psychohistory majors not sports bloggers but the success of UFC says something about sports today. Basketball and baseball are creating stiff punishments in an effort to eliminate fighting. The NBA will even suspend a player for simply moving from the bench area to the court during an altercation; a rule that was misapplied and led to the end of the Phoenix Suns season. Both these sports are having problems drawing fans. NHL commissioner Gary Bettman can sense the same thing as the UFC promoters and refuses to ban fighting in his league. He knows that fighting is all that is keeping Americans interested in hockey but it can’t match the level of violence that the UFC provides.

There is a huge and heretofore untapped market of people who want blood. They want to see two people get into a ring with the intention of hurting each other as much as possible. My opinion is that if adults want to watch this then let them, but where do you draw the line. If you allow violence to creep into societal norms where do you stop it? Do we want “Running Man” style programs on T.V? I wouldn’t mind watching Stephen Harper and Stephan Dion try to escape a robo-Gilles Duceppe with chainsaws for arms; it would make for better T.V. than the House of Commons. Mr. Dion: “Mr. Speaker, the Honourable man from Laurier-Sainte-Marie has threatened me with dismemberment because I ask my questions in English!!!”

Anyway…..I think I was talking about violence. It isn’t realistic to keep violence out of mainstream sports and if we do then it will go underground anyway (remember when Rambo dipped his knuckles in glass?). Some enterprising producer should turn UFC into the next great reality T.V. show for washed up celebrities and athletes. Imagine getting to watch Tie Domi and Stephan Brogan tangle in the octagon, I would pay to see that.

Tony Romo’s stage name could be “The Butter Finger Kid” and he could take on Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams in the choke artist match. Or Ben Johnson vs Barry Bonds in steroid match sponsored by Balco; the match-ups are endless.

That’s all for now folks, happy June and keep a look out for the handsome torontosportsblogger near you!

Tuesday Tribute

2007-05-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

Holla!
Welcome to "Tuesday Tribute": a weekly video tribute to whatever I want.

This week we celebrate America's quarterback, Tony Romo.

We love you Tony! You make football fun(ny)!

BONUS! Requested by Chris, American foreign policy in action.

Salt on Monday

2007-05-28T13:12:00.001-05:00

It’s been a busy start of summer here at SOM – and yes our heads have gotten big enough that we can refer to ourselves in the third person with a cool acronym – with work going nuts, and my fiancé trying to see how long this old man can work seven days a week without collapsing.

( My betrothed has taken on a Rachel Ray quote - “I like to work like an Ox” - as her personal mantra. Aside from my personal belief that Ms Ray is the love child of John Madden and Martha Stewart, her mantra is killing this particular Ox…)

Thankfully there is precious little going on in the sports world at this time. They have apparently canceled the Cup finals, and no one is going to stop San Antonio from grabbing another NBA title, so that’s it for Salt this week. See you all next week….

Bye!

See ya at training camp!

*$^*&%^#(*!!!!

Fine then.

While walking home from getting Loblaws billionaire owner Galen Weston to sell me two primo sandwiches for the price of one my gleeful reverie was interrupted by the sight of an Ottawa Senator banner flying large and in charge on the second floor of a duplex on my Beloved Dupont street.

I stopped in my tracks. My worst nightmare had come true. (Well, actually my worst nightmare involves the ghost of Harold Ballard returning to run the Leafs, that is if he doesn’t get the Iraq War Czar position first...)

The HATED Ottawa Senators have made the cup final.

Truly, it isn’t that bad when you think about it, having the hated Sens reach the final. Add to that Blackberry Billionaire Jim Balsillie – J Ball from the west side Yo! – threatening to put a team in Southern Ontario and we finally might have the perfect storm for forcing the Maple Leaf Money machine to think about putting a winning tradition.

But then I see that two tower condo monster (The Residence at Maple Leaf Square) is 99% sold and I realize that there will be so much money floating around MLSE that they won’t care if the Leafs finish first or last or if they only sell twenty thousand jerseys instead of thirty thousand. So until Richard Pettie stops unzipping the Teachers Pension Fund and/or his feud with chairman of the board Larry Tanenbaum comes to an end and they give the job of Hockey operations to a G.M. who won’t be cowed by the money and influence - Brian Burke come on down – floating around the MLSE offices, we will be stuck with a team that has more money than hope.

I digress.

I said earlier that no one was going to stop the Ottawa team except for a Detroit team with Hasek standing on his head. Well, I was wrong there cause it seems that JS Gigeure has his playoff mojo back and outplayed the legendary Hasek in their recent match up. The Ducks also have no problems matching the Sens in outright surliness and cheap shots, so I am predicting a final that will be as physically tough as any we have seen in recent years.

The Match ups

Duck Defence vs Senator Defence.

Those who have followed my playoff predictions will remember that I called Chris Phillips the leading candidate for the honorary ‘Darien Hatcher Rolling Stick Violation Award’, but I left out Chris Pronger in my calculations. As mean as Phillips has become (and as cavalier as he has become about it) he still might have a way to go to match the well trained elbows of Mr Pronger. The 6’6” native of Dryden Ontario is a nasty bit of work as evidenced by his attempt to crush Tomas Holmstroms head with his elbow. The fact that the refs didn’t see the blow is nothing new, as Pronger is a master at using his massive frame to hide fouls.
The Ducks also have a Norris trophy guy named Scott Niedermayer along with the up and coming Francois Beauchemin as their second and third best defensemen. Niedermayer is perhaps the best offensive defenseman in the league, but has been hit and miss this playoff season. His good games have been great, and his bad games have been Brian McCabesque – Leaf fans you know what I’m talking about, those games where McCabe goes running around looking to jump into the rush while letting forwards stream by him in the transition game.

The rest of the Ducks defence – Huskins, DiPenta and whoever - , are a bunch of guys who get the eight to nine minutes of ice time scraps that Pronger, Niedermayer, and Beauchemin - O’Donnell too – leave to them.
Look for these guys to play the last three of four minutes of any blow out games.

The Ottawa Defence is deep and solid.
Phillips has gone all Anakin Skywalker and decided to use his skating ability for evil and his shut down partner Anton Volchenkov has blocked more shots than Leaf starting goaltender Andrew Raycroft.
Joe (Who?) Corvo has found the mark and his 4.8 shooting percentage on forty three shots on goal in the playoffs has nowhere to go but up. His partner Tom Preissing is the invisible man in these playoffs; he hasn’t made any mistakes and he hasn’t made any noticeable plays. The third pairing is Wade Redden and Andrei Meszaros.
The third pairing.
Redden and Meszaros.
That’s really really deep.
The Ottawa defensemen all average about 20 minutes a game.

Who has the edge? The depth and consistency of Ottawa or the Norris Trophy pair on Anaheim. Well Anaheim has two players who can play at a level that Ottawa just can’t match.

Edge: Anaheim

Forwards

Everyone knows about Ottawa’s big line. The Heatly/Spezza/Alfredsson line is playing as well as any line in recent playoff history. Heatly is flying right now, and is using his size to get scoring opportunities – lord knows he isn’t using his size to check anyone.. – and his finishing ability is only matched by Jason Spezza’s set up skills and on ice vision. Add to this Daniel Alfredsson who is playing like a man possessed and you have a solid playoff fact.

This line can’t be stopped.

That wasn’t easy for me to say believe me, (I think I threw up a little in my mouth),
but the facts are there.
You can’t stop this line.
You can only hope to contain them.

They have gone from impressive to unstoppable in these playoffs. They will get three to four quality scoring chances every game while they are playing at this level – and they have been converting those chances at about a 75% clip so far. Not even the menacing Chris Pronger will be able to shut them down. The only guy who can shut down the HAS line – HAS? ASH? SHA? I got nothing here people… - is Jean Sebastian……more on that in a minute.

As well as the HAS line is playing, the rest of the Ottawa forwards have to be given credit also. I hate the sight of them, but Fisher, McAmmond, Sheaffer, and Kelly are like buzzing bees that keep a hard fore check on the opposition and pot the occasional goal. I forsee the Ottawa irritants dumping the puck into Prongers corner in an attempt to wear him down. The series will hinge in part on this. If the Ottawa irritants – basically any forward not on the HAS line – can take a few good runs at Pronger and get him off the ice or off his game then it’s parade time in the nations capital.

The Duck forwards aren’t as celebrated, but they are something that Ottawa hasn’t seen yet this playoff season and that is they are BIG.
And they play big.
No Eric Daze softies here, these guys were running through that depleted Red Wing Defence as if they weren’t there. Getzlaf, Moen, Perry, and Rob Niedermeyer are integral parts of the Anaheim attack. They are young, fast, strong, and BIG. These four average 6’2” 208lbs with skating skills. The Ottawa Defence won’t be able to feast on this group like they did with the munchkin courage deficient forwards from Buffalo and Pittsburgh. Even New Jersey doesn’t have forwards with this kind of jam.

Add in the venerable Teemu Selanne, and Andy McDonald and you have a team that is a solid three lines deep. Problem for The Ducks is that Ottawa is Four lines deep and the top line is unstoppable.

Edge: Ottawa

And finally we get to goaltending.
As always in the new NHL, the final tournament seems to hinge on the play of the goalkeeper. And no goal keeper has played better this spring than……Ray Emery.

Yes Ray Emery.

He has played every minute in goal for the Senators and comes out with a sparkling .919 save percentage. Emery will give up the occasional early bad goal. He will let a big rebound out from time to time, but like that other famous money goalie Grant Fuhr, Emery has been money during crunch time. He won’t be swayed by the big Anaheim forwards crashing the net, in fact I predict an Emery / Coery Perry/ Rob Niedermeyer fight sometime in the first two games.

JS Giguere just knocked off the Dominator, so how can I pick Ray Emery over Jean Sebastian who even boasts Stanley Cup Final experience. Well, JS has been knocked out of a few games this spring and if anyone is going to get a goalie all twisted up and left with a shattered psyche it is the Ottawa Senators and their big HAS line.

So saying that, it is with full nausea and personal disgust that I have to pick the Ottawa Senators over the Anaheim Ducks in six bone crushing, rock-em-sock-em playoff hockey games.

I really hate the Leafs right now……

When did the Spurs become thugs?

2007-05-15T15:14:00.000-05:00

When did they cross the line from gritty, hard nosed perennial favorites to elbow throwing, groin kneeing body checkers? They have thrown some cheap shots at the Suns that would make Tie Domi proud. The cheap shot is the last resort for those who have had their egos bruised. It is the hiding place for cowards or (as in Bertuzzi’s case) the momentarily insane. That is what makes the recent actions of the San Antonio Spurs so strange. It is a franchise that has been a model of good sportsmenship led by a true gentleman player (Tim Duncan) and a coach that believes that good character is more important than a good jumper.

Confucius once said “you can teach a pimp a jump shot but you can’t teach him how to keep his hoes in line”…..it’s true, look it up…it’s under his lesser know writings called “Deep thoughts from the opium den”. Point is I didn’t expect this from the Spurs and I don’t think Nash did either.

Are they scared? Are they worried that they have finally lost a step and can’t keep up when the Suns go into overdrive? I am not sure what it is but it is getting worse and it is great to watch. I hope they let everyone play in game 5 - well maybe not Horry, that was a pretty good body check with a solid forearm thrown in.

I think one of the ESPN guys made the excellent point that this is the only good series in the second round and if they suspend a bunch of the star players the league will be robbing us of the only entertaining match up they have to offer. David Stern knows that the NBA needs new rivalries and letting this series play itself out is good business sense. So look forward to fireworks on Wednesday and watch Nash come back with a huge game. GO KID CANADA!

Salt on Monday

2007-05-14T18:39:00.000-05:00

We here at Salt on Monday would like to express our deepest appreciation for the opportunity that the Torontosportsblog has given us to express our sporting opinions to the five people who constitute the regular readership of this august online publication.

Although we appreciate the confidence shown to us, we feel that there is another opportunity with national implications calling us that we must answer.
That said, I would like to officially announce my candidacy for the position of leader of the Partie Quebecois and help to return the dream of a sovereign Quebec to the noble masses of the Nation of Quebec.

..what’s that? I am running twenty points BEHIND Pauline Marois!!!!

On second though, I would like to retract the previous two paragraphs.
Keep on moving along people, nothing to see here. Hey, I ‘m happy in Ottawa!! I just changed my mind alright??
….I digress.

Love You Some Barry.

Listen folks, I’m not immune to the fact that racism exists and permeates life in North America at an elemental level. I know that this fact makes it easy to elevate St Louis Cardinal pitcher Josh Hancock to sainthood after dying in a car crash while driving drunk, with marijuana in his possession, and talking on his cell phone – ostensibly to set up a ‘booty call’.

Now we all know if his name was LeTrelle Jones and his cornrowed ass died in a drunk driving accident while he was trying to set up a nighttime rendezvous, we would not be seeing the #32 memorial patches on the sleeves of the Cardinal players.

So it is with this in mind I turn my sights to one Barry Lamar Bonds. (Interesting that his middle name and Vince Carters middle names are the same? Maybe Ms Carter had a thing for athletes before Vince was born…)
Barry Bonds has become the poster child for ‘everything that is wrong with professional sports!’
Really, all Barry did was to do the same thing Brady Anderson, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, Jose Conseco, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Kenny Rogers, and the hundreds of baseball players who improved and extended their careers and paychecks by taking supplements that were not contrary to baseball rules at the time.
Sportswriters hate Barry Bonds because he is an ass. They hate him because he treats them with disdain, and basically cause he is that guy that all the kids hate to play with but has all the best toys.

So don’t hate Barry. He had two MVP’s before he started washing his nuts in ‘the clear’.

He is gong to break the home run record and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. Oh you can ignore it.
You can ignore the fact that he is the best baseball player that anyone under the age of 60 has seen with their own eyes.
You can ignore the fact that he doesn’t care that Bud Selig and Hank Aaron won’t be there the day he beats the Home Run record.

I just wonder if you will be able to ignore the truth when your favorite 6’6” 320lb Offensive Lineman with 4.9/40 speed turns the corner and pancakes the Linebacker to lead your Running Back into the endzone and give your favorite team a two score lead late in the fourth quarter. Or when your fav hockey player comes back from knee surgery in less time than you thought possible.

How does Barry look now?

PLAYOFF UPDATE

Brad, I would like my winnings paid in beer thanks....

Some thoughts

2007-05-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

The Bulls are pretenders. They went out, signed what they thought was the heart and soul of the Pistons only to get crushed by them in the playoffs. Someone needs to tell John Paxson that the other Wallace is the guy you want. Rasheed might be the most underrated player in the league. He defense is stifling (ask Bosh) and he can work the ball on the inside and outside. He is taking Tyrus Thomas to school in this series. The screaming, pumped up, testosterone rage rookie that stalked the court against the Heat now looks confused and out classes in the mere 9 minutes he was given last night. The Pistons are going to kill any team in the East and are as good a bet as any to win the Championships.

Lebron is amazing. The Cavs ran the same play for the final 6 minutes of the game and Lebron picked the Nets apart. It isn’t his year yet but he is getting close. He also seems to be mastering the art of knowing when to play his hardest. He looks like a completely different player than the guy whose numbers were down during the first half of the season. I think he has sufficiently silenced the people who wondered if he was plateauing, now he will have to deal with the people who accuse him of taking stretches the season off.

Senators 5 Sabres 3….you stink Brad.

Deron Williams vs. Baron Davis….Williams is just too good and the Jazz aren’t going to be fooled into playing Nellie ball. I really like the Jazz. Williams and Boozer are going to be very good for a long time, the question is will they ever exceed the accomplishments of Stockton and Malone?

I recently traded away Brian Giles for perennial 40+ home run man Adam Dunn. What a trade, it has rocketed my team into the top 3 of the league and promises to continue to pay dividends throughout the season. Who is the mook who accepted that trade you ask? None other than “Salt on Monday” (sometimes Wednesday) writer; Alan. Someone should remind him that friends don’t let friends go to Bishops, it is bad for the moral fiber and clear stunted his ability to properly analyze trades.

Have a good weekend and get ready to watch the Wings mash the Ducks.

Salt on Monday, Tuesday edition..

2007-05-08T17:55:00.000-05:00

I don’t want to bore you, but this column needs a little run up before we get to this weeks Salt.

After I graduated from Bishops University and Gentlemen’s Club, I decided – quite sensibly in fact – that a 9-5 existence wasn't going to happen for me as I was more used to waking up on my bedroom floor with a half drunk quart of Labatt Cinquant within arms reach, than I was to doing anything constructive that required discipline. (Folks, the god’s honest truth is that I went to Bishops for University because the bars closed at 3:00 a.m. I have NO idea how I convinced my mother otherwise…)

So upon my inglorious return to Toronto (and we’ll save that last-day-in-Lennoxville story for another time. Not to tease, but it involves hallucinogens, two ex-girlfriends, a funnel, and enough beer to drown a giraffe), I chose a career that would indulge me my vices AND earn some money. So that’s how I spent twelve years in the Nightclub industry in a sort of Woodersonian Time Vacuum where I got older and they all stayed the same age.

As a consequence, a lot of my friends are ten to twelve years younger than me and gaze upon my wizened visage with an awe usually reserved for Kings or Heads of State. That, or they can’t believe that their future will look as desperate as I do..
Po–tay-to/Po–tat-to.

As a consequence, a lot of my wit is lost on this generation of text messaging wizards. What I am leading up to here, is that on my fantasy team ‘FREEPETEROSE’ , I picked up J.J. Hardy – shortstop and MVP in waiting for the Milwaukee Brewers – and I let spew a tirade of 70’s inspired comedy. (C’mon it’s a natural!! J.J? In Milwaukee!! Good Times!?! Dy-No-Mite!! Ain’t we lucky we got em!! Schlemiel!, Schmozzle! Hosenfeffer Incorporated!! Anybody? Anyone?)

So my humor went largely ignored and misunderstood by the youths. And if you can’t mock the other teams in a fantasy league, then you are getting way too serious about it and it becomes almost as embarrassing as being a member of a Dungeons and Dragons message board.

On to some Salt.

I see where fellow blogger Brad, has decided that the Detroit Red Wings are going to win the Stanley Cup, and the Buffalo Sabres are going to demolish the Senators. I disagree Sir Bradley. I went three for four in the Conference semi finals – and if Detroit didn’t have Dominick Hasek sleeping in a tub of ‘the clear’ I would have gone four for four – so I think I know whereof I speak.

before....

after....

Buffalo vs Ottawa

I’m not going to say this again.
This isn’t the same old Senator team.
Just look at their Captain and on ice leader, Daniel Alfredsson. I can remember laughing at the sight of his curly blonde locks peeking out of his helmet as he danced his way down the ice. The Leafs laughed too and pummeled the Sens every time they met them in the post season.

Take a look at Alfie now. He looks like a paroled bank robber. No one is confusing him with a Swedish Captain that can’t deliver when it counts – cough, cough, Sundin! cough, cough – he is the leader of a bunch of hard nosed muhfuckers and Buffalo is going to get smushed.

( I said in an earlier post that I was wrong when said that I thought that Buffalo was an hinterland outpost where players with bad agents got sent. I wasn’t wrong, all that happened is that the league rules changed so that this collection of softies and two-apples-high speedsters became coveted players in the new no-touch league. This Buffalo team looked like this before the lockout and the rule changes. )

People of Toronto, brace yourselves: The Ottawa Senators are going to the Stanley Cup finals.

Ottawa in 5.

Anaheim vs Detroit

I watched the first two periods of game six in the Detroit/San Jose series. I predicted that San Jose would knock off Detroit cause the Wings didn’t have any grit/glue players on their roster anymore. Well, let me be the first to say that I was wrong and this Detroit team is philthy with talent. I want to know what the other 29 GM’s were doing while Detroit put together a European All Star team. Who let Zetterberg, Lang, Datsyuk, Holmstrom, and Samuelsson be put under contract on the same team? And is there a drop of liquid left in the fountain of youth after Chelios and Hasek have sucked it dry? You can’t intimidate this team because you can’t catch them!!!!!!

All this and Nicklas Lidstrom making any play look simple, and you have to wonder who could stand up to this juggernaut.

If anyone could beat this stacked team that is hitting it’s stride, it is Anaheim. If Lidstrom is the best defenseman in the league then Pronger and Niedermayer are numbers 2 and 3. The problem is that you can’t stack up the forwards the same way. Do the names Getzlaf, McDonald, and Pahlsson strike fear in anyone’s heart? The Red Wings have come to life and nothing that doesn’t play near the Ottawa River can stop them.

Wings in 5

Conference Finals Predictions

2007-05-08T12:03:00.000-05:00

And now for some ballsy predictions.

Red Wings beat the Ducks in 6 games.
Sabres sweep the Senators.

Ahh... it feels good to live on the edge. Allow me to expand a little on these picks.

Wings 4-2 Ducks
The Wings are playing better hockey now than they have played in the past 6 years. If you watched the last 3 games in the San Jose series, then you saw what a perfect hockey team looks like. They simply dominated one of the best teams in the NHL. I won't even touch on the goaltending, because it's obvious that any Hasek doubters have been silenced. Let's talk about physical play. They beat the crap out of Calgary, and they beat the crap out of San Jose. Yeah that's right, the Red Wings are a very tough team. And in that lies the reason why they are playing the best hockey out of any team left. No one ever talks about this in hockey, but it's true: just like basketball, physical play around the net allows your skilled players the space they need to make plays. The Wings forecheck will win this series. I would take them in 5, but the Schneider injury costs them a game. The mix of tough play, crazy skilled forwards, smart team defence, veteran leadership, and the best goalie left in the playoffs, is a combination no other team can come close to matching. I'll make another prediction, Teemu will score no more than one goal this series. You won't hear the name Chris Pronger much either. Ducks will be the best team in the NHL... but not this year.

Sabres 4-0 Senators
Ok Leaf fans, watch this series. You're going to see a good first game, then a Senators collapse for games 2, 3 and 4. Buffalo is like Calgary a couple years ago: speed, speed, speed, and grit. They are relentless. The Senators can't match their tempo, and when they try and fail, they will get dejected and revert back to the team we saw the last few years in the playoffs. Emery is a decent goalie, but he's going to get shelled. 40 shots a game at least. And these aren't point shots like he's been facing so far in the playoffs... these are off angle rebounds, dekes, and plays off the end boards. This will be like watching a Sabres practice... against pilons.

The Sabres vs. Wings final is going to be the best series in a very long time.

I had a dream

2007-05-04T10:13:00.000-05:00

I must have fallen asleep on the couch watching sports highlights, because I could swear that I heard that the Milwaukee Brewers had the best record in baseball. That couldn't be right. What was even stranger, was that I thought I had just watched the Dallas Mavericks get eliminated from the playoffs by the Golden State Warriors. Bizarre.

I dreamt that Dirk Nowitzki, the likely MVP of the league, only scored 8 points and that this was the exclamation point (question mark?) on what had been a horrible series for him.

I dreamt that Baron Davis pulled a hamstring early in the game, which meant that GS was screwed. But it was crazy, because in my dream he ended up four assists shy of a triple double. That doesn't even make sense, right?

I dreamt that the Mavericks were totally lifeless and on their heels the whole time and that the Warriors fans were rewarded for their years of loyalty by being treated to a run and gun style that never stopped hustling and never stopped scoring.

I dreamt that for a brief moment, everybody forgot about Stephen Jackson's off-court shooting and recognized his incredible on-court shooting.

I dreamt that Avery Johnson did nothing but look pissed off for six straight games.

I dreamt that the two teams from last year's finals were already eliminated from the playoffs after the first round.

I dreamt that I had just watched a great series where the heavy underdog turned out to be the better team and actually won.

Some dream, huh?

Brought to you by Kevin

Salt on Monday

2007-05-01T00:40:00.000-05:00

It is the end of April and along with the inevitable showers and sloppy weather comes the NFL draft.
The Draft has become a huge deal for the NFL and I was planning a big blowout at some dingy sports bar, with wagering – only play money of course – on each pick, mocking the idiot Redskin fans, swilling draft beer, and generally having a grand ol’ time. Unfortunately, fellow contributor Chris Hoff, decided to hold his engagement party on that particular Saturday afternoon.

Now I understand that Chris is a Redskin fan, and the Redskins as a rule, pretty much opt out of the draft each and every year (they do this because they don’t see the benefit of drafting a young, relatively healthy player, at a reasonable cost - compared to the overpriced free agency market - who might develop some attachment to your team and system/coaches as he develops, and then could become a solid player on the field, and a positive influence in the locker room. Oh no no no, not for the Danny Boy Redskins this path of reason and patience. The Redskin plan is the same as selling your house and sleeping in a different hotel room from week to week, then wondering why you never feel settled). But have some compassion for the rest of us Chris, whose teams actually have a chance at making a run in the NFL playoffs.

( Not that any other bloggers here follow teams that have a chance except me and the blessed Dallas Cowboys. Seb is a Lions fan – and that in itself is about as rare as an English speaking Tim Hortons employee in Toronto – a team so screwed up that I wouldn’t be surprised if they pulled out the ol’ flying wing formation in their first offensive series. Hey it worked for Red Grange! And Brad is a member of the perpetually lovable loser Eagles fan club. The last championship victory that city had happened in Rocky II).

Anyhow, I missed the draft for the most part. So after suffering through months of draft prospect profiles – ‘good bubble, stout at the point of attack’ – I had to miss the actual event. Thanks Chris. So instead of making bad decisions in a cheap pub, I was forced to stand around and make small talk, all the while pretending that I didn’t have a waiver offer in for Felix Hernandez. (That is the exact reason, in a nutshell, as to why I haven’t been dominating every fantasy league I have been in the past 18 months. How can you plan or strategize when you have guys who drop a huge young talent like Hernandez just because he got put on the 15 day DL? IN A KEEPER LEAGUE!!)

I missed the draft. And now I have to suffer the months of talk of draft ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. Of course how anyone can predict a draft winner when the players haven’t even said goodbye to their college girlfriends yet is beyond me. Shouldn’t we wait until they have at least found out where the football groupies hang out in the city that drafted them? I really don’t think that is too much to ask. I can’t even go to my favorite team blog – theboysblog.com – for solace, because the conversation there has disintegrated to the point that guys are writing PARAGRAPHS about how the kicker the Cowboys picked in the SIXTH ROUND isn’t as good as the kicker picked soon after. Thanks Chris…

Lets Go Raptors!

Sam and the boys went to Jersey and took a whippin’. When the game got out of hand – seemingly the second they left Toronto... - I was waiting for the Vince Carter ‘this game is done, now I can pretend I like my teammates’ bench joking, and I got it in spades on Sunday. VC was laughing it up with the scrubs in the fourth quarter after waxing the Raps for 27. Let’s face it people, the Raptors are in uncharted waters here. They don’t have anyone with playoff experience in the NBA - and I’m just not counting Rasho Nesterovic, because you can’t count on someone who doesn’t play when the game is on the line – and they don’t have anyone beside Chris Bosh to get some points where the big boys live under the hoop. I hope the Raptors can get a win here on Tuesday, but even if they somehow win on Tuesday, I just can’t see them getting to a game seven seeing as game 6 is in The Garden State.

It’s okay people. They needed this. They weren’t as good as they thought they were and the playoffs are teaching them that lesson. Would I prefer that they learned that lesson after beating the on-again-off-again Vince Carter? Of course I would. Just not happening this year is all.

29/4 Highlight of the Night

2007-04-30T11:48:00.001-05:00

Second Round Hockey Playoff Picks

2007-04-25T19:42:00.000-05:00

I have been chosen to do the official Torontosportsblog second round playoff picks, and let me tell you I am humbled by the honour. I only hope I can serve as a role model for the millions of underachieving slackers that have used their degree for nothing more than part of a really last minute Halloween costume, ( I was supposed to be a wall. I know it sucks as a costume, but I ran out of time alright?).

BUFFALO vs NEW YAWK

I gotta say I have been amazed by the Steve Avery transformation. He used to be an irritant type of player (like a blonde Darcy Tucker in a contract year), who would – against all odds – chip in the occasional timely goal in crucial games. Now, he is…. Uh…. Well….. Forget it then. (Really, when player comes to the east coast from the west coast people act like they just came from the far side of the moon or something. Marcel Dionne could still be playing for the Kings and TSN wouldn't know).

As much as I like Brendan Shanahan, the Rangers have no chance. Listen, they did well in revealing the Thrashers as a pack of perimeter players who can’t stand the heavy going of the playoffs – especially this year when the League has seemingly mandated that anything less than a crippling injury will be only given a two minute minor at the on ice officials discretion. But, and it truly pains me to say this….. Buffalo is for real (arrrgh!!!!). I thought they were a team of losers who didn’t have agents smart enough to keep them out of this NHL backwater, but it turns out that having four (FOUR!!) thirty goal scorers and seven (WHAT??!?) twenty goal scorers means that you are going to the conference finals at least. That or you played the Leafs twenty times in a season….

The Bills ,…. er…the Sabres, win this series with room to spare. Avery isn’t going to be able to scare everybody.

SABRES in 5

NEW JERSEY vs OTTAWA

I have never seen this particular Ottawa team before. These guys are not the same softies that the Leafs got used to stepping over on their way to, well not to a championship but the next round anyway.

This Ottawa team?
Well aside from the first team power play defensive pairing of Corvo and Preissing (Who? Really? You have Wade Redden and you figure that Joe Who is the guy to leave at the controls on your power plays?), this team is a pack of killers.

It’s like the younger brother (the one you got used to beating up and typically treating like, well, like a punky little brother. You know, laughing at him and his friends, hazing him like a Beta pledge, and generally mocking his existence so completely that he spent the last 5 years crying himself to sleep every night), who went away to university and comes back in May with an extra 15 pounds of muscle, the ability to funnel three king cans like a champ, and can pick up chicks in bars that wouldn’t give you a second glance. That’s who these guys are.

I watched Chris Phillips slowly tear away Sydney Crosbys’ will to continue breathing during this series with a mauling that would make Derian Hatcher blush. Seriously, I saw him cross check Crosby in the throat and the expression on his face was that of a fourteen year old at the Opera – Booooringggg. When did he turn into Hannibal Lecter on skates? I remember when he came into the league, he had some offensive potential, could skate well, and generally was a pleasant fellow. Now? It's like he turned into Bobby Clarke in the '72 series. If the first round series with Pittsburgh went any longer, Crosby would have needed a walker to make it to his car.

These guys aren’t the same smiling happy-go-lucky young upstart Ottawa Senators anymore. Think Clint Eastwood as Bill Munny at the end of Unforgiven. They are going to spear you and skate away cause if you hit them in the back they are going to come back and kill you and your whole family.

New Jersey has home ice advantage, Martin Brodeur, and the left wing lock in its’ favor. If New Jersey can get Ottawa to play an undisciplined shoot out style of game then they have a chance ( I love Emery, but Ottawa leaves him hanging out to dry when they go into shootout mode). If not? Send the wife and kids to the neighbors and hide in the cellar cause Bill Munny will shoot you down whether you are facing him or not.

OTTAWA in 6

DETROIT vs SAN JOSE

Detroit danced it’s way past a Calgary team that was committed on beating itself. ( Hey Calgary! Stupid is as Stupid does…) In the San Jose Sharks, they face a team that has two top level centers – Thornton and Marleau – who give the Sharks a depth and toughness that the Red Wings can’t match. Think about it for a second; all the heart and soul guys on Detroit are gone.

Yzerman? Gone.
Shanahan? Gone.
Hull? Gone.
Draper? Still there but looking as old as the hills. Going deep into the playoffs every year is going to do that to a gritty forward like Draper.

They do have Bertuzzi, Maltby and Cleary, but do you even recognize this team anymore?
Detroit’s best chance lies in Dominick Hasek pulling another playoff miracle out of his hat.

SAN JOSE in 7

ANAHEIM vs VANCOUVER

Is the Dallas/Vancouver series over yet?? It is? Who won? Vancouver? Oh.

ANAHEIM in 4.

Some playoff thoughts

2007-04-25T14:32:00.000-05:00

That was a big, fat, ugly win but it was a win. The series is tied and will move to New Jersey for the next phase where we should see two totally different teams. Before talking about that I have some thoughts to share about the first two games in Toronto.

The first thing that jumps out at me after watching those games is that the Raptors would be up an easy 2-0 if Garbajosa was playing. He would have played strong, Parker-like, defense on either Jefferson or Carter, chipped in some points a crucial times and would not have been the liability that Joey Graham was. I was shocked to hear the newly anointed coach of the year say that he would stick with Graham in game 3. Mitchell better keep him on a short leash because Carter and Jefferson are going to play better on Friday and Graham simply can’t be allowed to play like he did in Toronto.

Anthony Parker?!!? Alright, alright, I will never call him Anthony Chucker again. I retract all negative statements made about said player and am willing to argue that he was the best player on the Raptors in the past 2 games. He was calm, poised and clutch. His defense was excellent and his shot was sweet. He had the look of a guy that could have scored 30+ in both games if he had been given enough shots. He has won me over and I will wear his jersey with pride.

Hacking. I know this is the playoffs and the games are tighter and the refs “swallow” their whistles, but come on. The Nets are hacking at Bosh like the Senators did to Crosby. Now Bosh isn’t the spaghetti legged, stick man that he was when he entered the league, but bubble butt Jason Collins has about 75 pounds, 2 burritos and a midget on Bosh. Every time Bosh moves through the paint he takes shots along the way. At some point in this series, a ref is going to call the contact and put the Nets into serious foul trouble. If Bosh keeps going to the net he can force the officials to call fouls the same way Wade did last year. Remember, you heard it here first.

Has anyone been watching the Houston series? Is it me or does T-Mac look like a man possessed? He and Yao are going to take the Jazz apart and are the last team I would want to face in the next round. Their defense first game is perfectly suited to the post season and Yao is almost unstoppable in the half court.

Yes, the Bulls are looking strong right now but those emotions will fade when Miami wins a couple games and forces them into a real series. I refuse to believe that D-Wade and Shaq are going to get swept, no way, no how.

I know it was only one game but how great would it be if the Nuggets or the Warriors won their series? Honestly, I know that it isn’t going to happen. I know that Dirk and Duncan are going to bring some serious pain tonight, but think about it. No more Mavs or Spurs? It would turn the West upside down! What’s that? Snap out of it you say? No, I haven’t been eating the purple mushrooms, just doing some good old fashioned office day dreaming.

What I am getting at here is that the NBA playoffs are looking good and should only get better. Baseball is still too early to really watch and the hockey playoffs are in that boring second round before the players start killing each other in an effort to reach the Stanley Cup finals. So please, join me throwing the kybosh on Carter and Kobe and the Dallas Cowboys in this weekends NFL draft and enjoy some sports.

24/4 Highlight of the Night

2007-04-25T09:50:00.001-05:00

Salt on Monday

2007-04-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you
Without a strong rhyme to step to
Think of how many weak shows you slept through
Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you

Eric B + Rakim ‘I Know You Got Soul’

Salt on Monday took a little break to get life sorted and all that. Changing apartments, more work and warm patio days all conspired to push the Salt out of my system but do not worry sports fans, I have enough rage from years of denial ( I am a
Leaf fan you know..) to keep the Salt flow going.

“It’s only One. They need Four”
Jose Calderone

I’d love it if the fans of the Toronto Raptors would learn from the mistakes of the venerable Leaf Nation. Don’t throw parades for each playoff victory, and don’t jump off the tower for every playoff loss.

Case in point: The Raptors – a team with two NBA newbies who play a significant role in the success of the team in Anthony Parker and Andrea Bargnani – are playing in the playoffs for the first time in forever.
(Think about it, the last time the Raptors were in the post season tournament, Britney Spears was hot, Nelly was like a bird - miles from being promiscuous, nobody (excepting yours truly of course) had yet figured out that Shaggy sucked and you could still hear his drivel in nightclubs and on the radio, the first episode of the Lord of the Rings trilogy had just started (causing thousands of 40 year old Manchildren to emerge from their parents basements) and someone spent Millions of dollars to make a movie - Glitter!!!!! - starring Mariah Carey. That’s how long ago it was. I know! Compose yourself now…)

We sent TJ Ford and Jose Calderone with their combined total of six NBA playoff games up against Jason Kidd and his 88.
So yeah. The Raptors lost. Who could have seen this coming?

This team needed to feel what the playoffs are about, and the first game showed it to them.

They learned that there is less space out there in the playoffs.
They learned why Jason Kidd is going to the Hall of Fame.
And they learned that players will do things during the playoffs that they wouldn’t dream of doing during the season (Vince Carter played perimeter defense??? Getthefuckouttahere!!!).

So don’t hurt yourselves falling off the Raptors bandwagon, they will look much, much better on Tuesday.
So, what did happen on Saturday? First timer mistakes is all.
Sam Mitchell left Joey Graham out for too long.
(Sam, I love you like barbecued meat, but when ‘bad’ Joey is on the court, you need to sit his butt down.)

Sam also panicked when the Nets went to a Zone defense and abandoned their usual man-to-man defense. Instead of keeping TJ -‘no one on the Nets can cover me’ - Ford in the game he went to Calderone, who played well, but isn’t the nemesis to the Nets that TJ is.

A lot of Jason Kidd happened.
Fifteen assists will do that.
Ten Rebounds will do that.
Unfortunately for the Raps, Kidd won’t stop happening and the Raps need to figure a way to slow him down.
( Maybe they could hire his soon to be ex-wife Joumana to sit courtside).

NHL Playoffs
(PG 13, Parental Discretion advised. Excessive and Gratuitous Violence Portrayed.)

The NHL playoffs are unfolding exactly as I predicted. Or not.
I was running late a week and a half ago, so I emailed my picks to Mr. Hoff about half an hour before the playoffs started.

My picks were,
Ottawa
San Jose
Vancouver
Minnesota

I nailed the Ottawa, and San Jose picks.
Asking Pittsburgh to beat that Ottawa team in its’ first playoff go around is asking way too much of them, even with Gary Roberts.
And since the league didn't call all the fouls on Crosby during the season, why would they call them in the playoffs when the refs traditionally swallow their whistles anyway? And sure the Pens picked up enforcer Georges Laraque at the trading deadline, but Coach Therrien wasn't willing - or maybe it was Canadian Senator in waiting Mario Lemieux - to let Laraque do to Heatley/Spezza what Phillips and Neil were doing to Crosby, i.e, foul him at every opportunity.
(My favorite Crosby foul - and there were so many to choose from - happened in Game two when Chris Neil leaped in the air to crosscheck Sidney at the side of the net. Sidney was covered at the time and Gary Roberts was left open in front of the net and banged in the goal. No penalty. The football equivalent of this is if Bears linebacker Lance Briggs nailed Peyton Manning from behind four seconds after he had thrown a touchdown pass to a wide open Reggie Wayne. And then no penalty was called. The NHL, "See the stars of the future if they make it out of today alive.")

San Jose was playing a Nashville team who never realized what it took to win in the playoffs.

I blew the Minny pick, because I didn’t think a Jacques Lemaire coached team could be beat in the first round when Coach Lemaire has a hot Goaltender. What I didn’t know was that the NHL was going to let Anaheim punch it’s way past the Wild, who despite their name, couldn’t match fists with the battlin’ Ducks.

I think Vancouver will win out in this series, if anyone realizes that these two teams are still playing in that first round snore fest.

NYI
THE Devils
ATL
Det

I didn’t do so well with these picks. The Islanders were a long shot - at the same time I didn’t realize Rick DiPietro was going to miss the first game, which is critical to the success of the first round upset.

I would rather not talk about the Thrashers. I was drunk and hit my head on something. They suck. Never again Atlanta. Now I know how you do.

There is a wonderful article on Hockey violence in the Toronto Star written by Steve Moores’ brother, Mark. ( Yes, that Steve Moore.)
I wonder if the League will ever realize that having the commissioner say – PUBLICLY – that fighting – FIGHTING – has a place in hockey, can only be seen as tacit approval of the goonery that has replaced the game in the playoffs so far. Morons.

What has hockey fights given us besides this; "Tie Domi, Millionaire".

Wish Granted!

2007-04-19T14:00:00.001-05:00

Well, I got my wish and the Raptors are going to square off against the Nets in the first round…..Damn. I am a mixed bag of emotions right now. I am excited about all the achievements from this season, pumped about the possibility of sticking it to Carter and so nervous about what could happen. I won’t be able to take seeing that smug look on Vince’s face if they win this series; you know the one I am talking about. It is that look that makes every Raptors fan want to pimp-smack him in the back of his balding head.

A friend of mine made a very good point today after listening to the morning radio shows; why are Raptors fans so scared? We are the number 3 seed, we were the best team in the East after the All-star break and we are flat out better than they are. That said; I am still nervous. The Carter factor is too much to over look. No matter how much I hate him, no matter how much I boo him and break my Carter voodoo dolls knees, he is still very good.

I am going to stick by my Raptors and predict that they win this series in 6 games. Bosh is going to be huge and I think that Anthony Parker is going to do a great job on Vince. Rebounding is going to be key in this series and I hope that Mitchell sticks with Humphries. He will be able to push around an undersized Nets front court and force them to play physical series. Let’s face it, if he can take a little bit of pressure off Bosh, grab 8-10 boards and dunk the ball 3-5 times a game it will be a job well done.

We are going to try to do a live blog during these games which should be very entertaining. You can expect a lot of Carter hating, Raptor loving and random facts so stay tuned for more!

Markus Naslund

2007-04-19T10:11:00.000-05:00

I am not the only one who thinks Naslund is finished.....check the "All-Dissapointment Team"

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/fantasy/04/17/power.play/2.html

Bring on Carter

2007-04-17T14:07:00.000-05:00

The rest of the Raptors games promise to be a snore fest, but things are getting very interesting in the East. The New Jersey Nets are making a charge for 6th place in the East and a first round date with the Raptors. This would be a great first round series and would offer a chance for Chris Bosh and the Raptors to show Vince Carter how stupid he was for leaving. I don’t care if Washington is the easier team to play, in fact, it is better for the Raptors to get meaningful playoff experience by playing a challenging opponent.

A Raptors/Nets playoff series has the potential to make this on of the best rivalries in the East and generate a lot of basketball interest in Canada. There is nothing like hatred when trying to win new fans and there are few players easier for Raptors fans to hate than Carter; just as Mo Pete.

My concern is that if we play the Nets we might lose and I hate when they lose to Carter. Normally, I am supremely confident about the Raptors chances against any team but they don’t match up well against the Nets. Richard Jefferson has been one of the few players in the NBA that can effectively guard Chris Bosh. As I have noted before, Richardson seems to be able to make for the size difference with his speed and, in Bosh’s defense, everyone has opponents who have their number.

Guarding the “Big Three” of Kidd, Carter and Jefferson is going to be a tough challenge without Garbajosa in the lineup. You can put Mo Pete on Carter without having serious concerns that Peterson will get badly burned by Carter. Those two seem to have sibling relationship with Carter playing the dominant role and does anyone really want to see Morris Peterson crying on TV?

There is still a good chance that this series will never happen and Toronto will face Washington and the Net will play the Bulls. I think that most Raptor fans would prefer this and when first presented with this scenario, so did I. But let’s be real here, the Raptors are not going to win an NBA championship this year. What they need is playoff experience against good teams to help them build the type of championship character that is required to take on Western Conference teams. They can do that this year and what better way to put to rest the ghosts of the Carter years than to beat the man who left them for dead?

Game III Live Blog

2007-04-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

Here we go into game three in this series, and if you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of the Ottawa fans breaking body parts jumping off the bandwagon. The city has to be one of the most fragile in terms of fan psyche in North America.

6:11
Pittsburgh fans show they can be just as classless as the next bunch of yokels as they boo the Canadian anthem. Can we dispense with the anthem playing before sporting events already?

6:12
Crosby, Armstrong, and Roberts score 51 seconds into the first period on a rush and the Pittsburgh arena loses it.

6:14
The Pittsburgh fans start going after the Ottawa goalie with the ‘Emmmmry, Emmmmry’ chant.

6:16
If the Ottawa fan base was jittery before the start of the game, they must be in a full blown panic at this point. Hey, we are three minutes into the game and the refs haven’t called a penalty yet?

6:19
Hmmm, there doesn’t seem to be any sense of urgency from the Ottawa players. Roberts just took a run at Volchenkov and got the worst of it, but even that doesn’t seem to wake the Senators up. You would think the series wasn’t tied at one game each.

6:22
Hey, Malkin is showing up early in this game. None of this can be good for the Senators.

6:23
Ottawa seems to want to go the wide open route the evening, which will lead to yet another wide open shoot out type of game. This plays into Pittsburghs hands as their young players don’t have the ability to stay with Ottawa in a tight defensive style of play. Staal and Crosby have both had nice scoring chances on the rush. If Ottawa isn’t careful, we might remember them as the team that the Penguin dynasty came into it’s own against.

6:25
Something Chris just said to me on the phone is also something that I agree with; for a 6’3” 216 lb winger, Dany Heatly is the biggest small man in the NHL. Martin StLouis plays with more edge than Heatly. Hell, Jason Spezza plays with more grit.

6:35
Heatly kills an promising Ottawa power play with a silly cross checking penalty.

6:38
Pittsburgh is all over the Senators during the Power Play. Where is that Ottawa team from game 1? The one with all that discipline? The team with the elightning fast transition game? Where did they go?

6:45
Ottawa kills a penalty and now they tie the game with a bit of a garbage-jam-the-net kind of goal. At this point I don’t think the Sens would care if the goal came from a Zamboni malfunction.

6:49
First period is over. I don’t know why Ottawa is going with the wide open style. Pittsburgh can play wide open all night long, so can the Sens, but why not play to the Penguins weakness instead of their strength? At this point Pittsburgh is determining the style of play and the Senators are trying to adapt to it.

6:53
Coaches corner. Hoo boy….

6:54
We open Coaches corner with a close up of his Sylvester and Tweety tie. Then he goes on to praise Emery. Wow. Never though I would see the day that happened.
Cherry calls out the Ottawa defense. Hey, I been saying that for two games now.
Cherry goes on to praise Chris Neil who went from a ‘dummy fighter’ to a real hockey player. Unfortunately they also show Neil crosschecking Crosby who was covered while the uncovered Roberts puts the puck in the net.
He goes on to show how Gary Roberts is doing his best to get into the officials heads during every break in action. Of course we end Coaches Corner with one of Ron McLean’s patented terribly unfunny puns. I would repeat it, but you don’t need that kind of crap in your life do you?

7:10
Second period starts and two minutes and thirty seconds in the Senators get their forecheck on and get the go ahead goal from Mike Comrie. Ottawa is pouncing on any neutral zone errors by the Penguins.

7:14
Crosby steals the puck from Corvo and scores, but Roberts is teaching Spezza some respect for the elderly and the whistle had blown so the goal is disallowed.

7:17
Joe Corvo walks in alone on Fleury when Gonchar slips and takes out the othe Pitt defenseman, Eaton. Fleury stones him with a toe save and you have to think that any jitters from his game one gaffes are gone, gone, gone.

7:18
Well Malkin came to play tonight, unfortunately he didn’t come to skate and gets a second penalty tonight for hooking.

7:19
Ottawa defenseman Corvo misses a mile wide on one shot and hit Fleury between the nipples on another. Why is he the Power play quarterback?

7:21
Alfredsson beats Fleury shortside with one that should have been stopped. Lets see how the Pens respond to this latest adversary.

7:26
Patrick Eaves gets nailed coming around the net. He is lying on the ice and hasn’t moved yet. McAmmond and Talbot stage the obligatory stick-up-for-your-teammate fight.

7:30
Through the commercial break I still haven’t seen Eaves move.

7:31
Saw Eaves talk and move his hands as they take him off on a stretcher. The announcers are saying that Colby Armstrong hit Eaves in the Head with his shoulder, but Armstrong did not head hunt, and the hit was clean. That’s Hockey. Real hockey, not that fighting nonsense.
Lets see what this break does for these two teams. Seeing a player lying on the ice motionless has got to be distracting.

7:34
Malkin and Crosby are back on the same line. Lets see if Malkin can stop getting penalties and start causing scoring chances.

7:42
Somewhere between the called back Crosby goal, and the Armstrong hit on Eaves, the Penguins have decided to start playing shinny and their defense has disappeared.

7:46
The Penguin power play has turned into ‘lets see what Sydney can make happen..’

7:47
The pens blow their power play and Ottawa scores shorthanded. Ottawa has put it to the Penguins defense and they Pit rearguards can’t handle it. CBC colour analyst is raking Sergei Gonchar over the coals for turning away from the play on a two on two rush that led to the shorthanded goal. I can hear fans in Boston saying ‘it was just a matter of time..’

7:52
Second period is over and the Pens have taken a step back. The Ottawa team absorbed the Penguin burst in the first period, and came out in the second with a commitment to neutral zone pressure and defensive zone spacing. The Penguins tried to get the Senators to start runnin’ and gunnin’ but all that led to was more turnovers and Ottawa goals.

7:54
Chris Neil just gave Elliot Freidman what will probably turnout to be the most expensive interview of his career. Neil used the word ‘payback’ three times in reference to the Colby Armstrong hit on Patrick Eaves. Even the NHL officiating office won’t miss that fine. I’ve seen WWE interviews that had less threats.

7:55
Look! It’s my favourite minor celebrity crush and the Casino Rama commercial!! ‘Work it, work it on the islands…’

7:57
Oooo! A second edition of Coaches corner! How did we get so lucky?

8:14
Third period, and it seems that neither team wants to prolong this game as the first 6 minutes has flown by seemingly in real time. The Sens blew a three goal lead to Pittsburgh late in the regular season. Not much indication of that happening here.

8:17
That poker star commercial – the one that is offering ‘Canada’s seat in the world poker championships – is on again. Now I think we will be looking back at this poker craze in about ten years and say ‘what the hell were we thinking? It’s a stupid card game fercrissakes!’ In the annals of embarrassing popular culture, perhaps the recent poker craze will only be topped by the even more embarrassing pet rock era. (Oh just google it or ask your mom.)

8:22
Ottawa hacks Crosby’s glove off of his hand and the ref reluctantly calls a penalty. The Pens don’t come close to scoring and have managed to blow their last chance at making this game close.

The Penguins are an interesting team in that they are so loaded with young talent, you just kind of watch and wait for their eventual ascension to the top of the league. But tonight, yesterdays talented young team is showing them what they learned on their journey up the NHL ladder. The Pens aren’t there yet, but I can’t think of a single hockey fan that doesn’t think that they will eventually get to the top of the NHL.

8:33
Malkin and Crosby work a nice give and go and Crosby scores. Five minutes left and maybe we have life in this game yet. Crosby jumped past Volchenkov on his way to the net as if Volly was standing still. The kid is fast AND quick.

8:37
Ottawa’s Chris Schubert runs Scuderi into the endboards like a runaway train. Pitt has a powerplay coming, if the refs don’t cal lthe even up penalty on Pittsburgh. Andddddd the ref evens it up.

8:40
Chris Phillips mauls Crosby yet again and to his defense come… Evegeni Malkin? Malkin leaps at Phillips like a 12 year old grandson whos’ bubbe just walked down the arrivals ramp at the Airport. I was waiting for Malkin to wrap his legs around Phillips and snuggle into his neck.

8:45
The Senators kept the young Penguins at bay with a commitment to neutral zone discipline and an end to some silly defensive zone gaffes. Oh, and run Sydney Crosby at every opportunity because the refs won’t call it.

Let us not forget the play of Ray Emery who came up with quite a few timely saves – including a dive across the crease to stop a Malkin shot late in the third. Ottawa wasn’t firing on all cylinders, although the Penguins didn’t put up a sustained effort this day.
(Don Cherry comes out and claims that Crosby won’t get calls because he embellishes hits and complains to the Refs too much. How it is Crosbys fault that the Refs won’t call fouls on him is beyond me but I don’t have that single game of NHL experience that Cherry has so, let us not belabor that point.) Pittsburgh needs to get some inspired play from Jordan Staal, and Evegeni Malkin on a far more consistent basis. They need to get some disciplined play from their defense and they need Fleury to stop giving the Senators a cheapie goal almost every game. What’s happened to Mark Recchi? Where are the timely goals from a third line plugger that a team needs for playoff success? The Senators are more than happy to concentrate on Crosby and Roberts if the rest of the Penguins won’t do more than stand around and wait for a play to be made by the two forwards who are playing as if they realize that this is an elimination tournament.

Game 2 Live Blog!!

2007-04-14T15:16:00.000-05:00

3:19
Yes we are a little late on this game, but life has a way of getting in the way of stuff. Either that or I am a champion procrastinator, take your pick. Anyway they just dropped the puck and Crosby and the kids were on the bench. Seems like Therrien is awake this afternoon.

3:24
The Ottawa crowd is booing Crosby every time he touches the puck. (Yeah cause Sidney is such a bad guy, he rips the city of Ottawa mercilessly, and he hates everything about Ottawa. What? None of that is true? Well that must mean that Ottawa has a classless bunch of small minded yokels as fans.)

3:25
Pittsburgh scores on the Powerplay. Crosby makes a nice pass while taking crosscheck #44 in the back from Chris Phillips – who is trying desperately to take Derian Hatchers number one position on the ‘dirty hacker’ list.
Of course the Ottawa crowd boos Crosby.

3:33
Phillips, realizing that the NHL refs have swallowed their whistle on all fouls regarding Sidney, has taken to following Crosby all over the ice and cheap shotting him. This is what is wrong with the NHL. Any other sport would go the extra mile to make sure that their meal ticket for the next ten years isn’t getting mauled with every stride, but no, let’s make the kid run the gauntlet for a few years. I am not asking for special treatment or ‘Jordan Rules’, at the same time Ottawa is hitting him three strides after he has passed the puck and TWO guys are hitting him. I hate NHL refs. This is why there is fighting in the sport still.

3:38
6’, 3” 227lb Christoph Schubert bumps into 5’, 11” 193 lbs Maxime Talbot and falls to the ice and hits his head. Ottawa coach Bryan Murray is livid. Ottawa, the short sighted capital of the western hemisphere.

3:44
Fleury has been solid in the Pittsburgh goal. The Penguins are doing a much better job getting into the Ottawa zone by dumping the puck deep then pressing the defensemen for the puck. Coach Therrien is fully awake today.
The game is also on NBC, and I was going to switch back and forth from the CBC feed to NBC, but I don’t want to mock the NBC coverage this early in the playoffs. Maybe in the second period.

3:48
Eveginy Malkin sighting! Everybody drink!
At least he made the game this afternoon. I guess someone set his alarm correctly this time.

3:51
55 year old Mark Recchi loses his helmet mixing it up in the Ottawa zone. Recchi is 5’10 and 190lbs with a microwave on his shoulder. He took a Phillips two hander to the chops, but he bounces back up and makes sure he gets the number of cheap shot artist Phillips before rushing back into the play. Recchi is 39 years old. That, my friends, is a Hockey Player.

3:56
Ottawa Powerplay. A legitimate hold.
At least the refs haven’t ruined this game like they did the last one.
The Ottawa crowd is chanting Fleury’s name, but the Goaltender has been solid today.

3:59
Phillips highsticks Crosby in the throat. Sid doesn’t go down, but gives a Phillips a shot on the end boards. The period ends. Crosby complains to the refs. Refs could care less. I hate the NHL for this.
How does that officiating meeting go?
‘Okay guys, lets wait a few years before we call legitimate cheap shots on Sidney Crosby, just to keep him humble, OK?’

4:02
Uh oh. Here Comes Don Cherry and the bark a thon Coaches Corner!! Lets see what stick enabler Ron McLean pokes him with today.

4:05
Cherry claims that Crosby accentuates the fouls that are committed on him, and the refs won’t call it cause they feel he is showing them up. See Sid! When you take that stick to the throat just pretend it didn’t happen. Then they will call the penalty. What a great league!

4:07
Cherry show a series of fights to refute the notion that there is no fighting in the playoffs. He has the replay stop to show a group of girls at rinkside cheering the players on.
So there you have it, irrefutable evidence that fighting is good for the game. Don makes such convincing arguments. People like pro wrestling also, so why don’t we give the players nicknames and have a ring set up at the side of the rink so goon can really get it on. People will love that!!

Second period.

4:18
I haven’t said much about him, but Ray Emery has been a rock for the Senators. The Pitt goal today was a lucky deflection. Ottawa seems to have solved their ‘tender problem for a while.

4:21
Fisher hacks Fleury like a lumberjack. Then gives another Penguin a glove to the chin after the whistle. He is doing his irritant best to get under the skin of the Penguins. Does any other sport tolerate irritants to the level that hockey does?
Ottawa Power Play.

4:24
Comrie, Fisher and Neil as a power play unit. An entire irritant line. Ottawa Defensivemen Corvo and Preissing just don’t have the powerplay quarterback look about them. Coach Murray might think about putting Spezza back there for the PP.

4:25
Crosby touches the puck and gets booed.
Ottawa’s irritant line of Vermette, Fisher, and Neil starts stupid scrum #2.
Melikar and Vermette get minor penalties.

4:30
Spezza gets a goal off of a Alfredsson rebound. Tie game.Fleury had no chance on that one. Crosby gave Spezza the old ole instead of backchecking him. Not Sidneys best defensive effort.

4:34
Another Pittsburgh penalty. I’m going to switch to the NBC coverage for the Ottawa Power play.

4:36
Just saw that vonage commercial where they tout the clarity and reliability of Vonage. WHAT? Has anyone actually tried Vonage? I have a friend who has it and I know he is calling me cause I can see his number but there is no one on the other end. Why can’t they just admit it cheaper, but it isn’t as good as traditional service? Why liewhen no one is fooled?

4:38
OH MY GOD OTTAWA POWER PLAY! SHOT ON NET! TWO ON ONE!! HELD BY FLEURY!!! OH MY GOD!!!

4:39
The announcers on NBC are a little excitable.

4:41
The announcer on NBC is Screaming on EVERYPLAY THAT MIGHT BECOME A SCORING OPPORTUNITY!! His voice is starting to go he is screaming so much. Every second play he sounds as if he is going through puberty all over again.

4:44
I’m going back to CBC. The NBC guy is scaring my dog.

4:47
Colby Armstrong runs Emery. Made no attempt to avoid Emery. Ottawa Power Play. Emery skates around in circles beside the net. If they are trying to rattle Emery, it didn’t work.

4:50
Fleury STONES Alfredsson.

4:50:20
Alfredsson gets his goal this time. Pittsburgh cannot give Ottawa this many Power play opportunities. I don’t know what Therrien tells his penalty kill squad to do, but I am pretty sure it isn’t “stand around and watch Ottawa tic-tac-toe their way to a goal”.

4:53
Another Ottawa Power Play. Ottawa can ice the game here if Pittsburgh doesn’t come to life.

4:53
Ottawa has changed their PP strategy. Instead of letting Corvo and Preissing control the flow, they are keeping the puck down low where their skilled forwards can make magic with it. Smart move by Ottawa.

4:56
The second period is now over.
Pittsburgh still hasn’t figured exactly how much it is going to take to win a game in the playoffs against Ottawa. Crosby isn’t helping with his weak defensive efforts, and taking stupid retaliatory penalties will kill them. They need to mount some forechecking pressure – which has disappeared since the first period entirely – and get pressure on Emery that doesn’t consist of running him and taking a penalty. Did Malkin go home after the first period? Is he selling programs in the stands? Where is he???

Bob Errey comes on and makes some excellent points in an interview with Ron McLean
- Pittsburgh needs to get Malkin on the line with Crosby to generate some offense.
- Pittsburgh tried to be New Jersey and protect a 1-0 lead for a period and a half.
- Put Crosby on the Penalty kill and force Murray to respond with Alfredsson or Spezza.

Geez! Nice work Bob. Not bad for an old Senator.

5:14
Two seconds after the puck drops Armstrong and Comrie drop the gloves and fight. How is this still happening in this league? The replay shows the two talking before the faceoff, and then they go at it right after the play starts. That isn’t Hockey folks. Stop kidding yourselves.
5:16
Stupidity aside, if Ottawa kills this penalty this game is over.

5:18
Malkin sighting! Everybody drink!!

5:18:15
Gary Roberts scores. Emery lets a big rebound out into the slot and Mr Roberts makes him pay.

5:21
The Alfredsson, Heatly, Spezza line causes a Pittsburgh penalty. Those three are murder on the Pittsburgh defense. Therrien needs to look at some old Leaf tape and see how the Leafs stopped these guys if Pittsburgh has any chance in this series. Ottawa looks like a team that is going to do what it needs to to get to the Cup finals. They are loaded with skill players, they have 75 irritant type players who are willing to get into the face of the opposition and they go six deep on Defense. Add to that a solid Goaltender in Emery whois on the cusp of going All World, and this team is scary.

5:25
Chris Kelly jumps a Pittsburgh change and beats a screened Fleury to make it 3-2 Ottawa.
I can’t see Pittsburgh getting back into this game. I know it is only a one goal lead, but the Penguins are looking for a break instead of trying to make one, and I don’t think Ottawa will give it to them.

5:30
Crosby touches the puck. The Crowd boos.

5:31
There is the break that Pittsburgh needed. Mr Roberts nails a defensiveman and the ensuing play gets out to Rookie of the Year Jordan Staal who makes no mistake.
Game tied again.

5:37
Malkin sighting! Everybody Drin…wait a sec !!! Goal!!!! Crosby!!

5:38
Pittsburgh is trying to steal one here today. Can they hold Ottawa off? Will they find their playoff cojones here? This is why I love Hockey and the NHL playoffs.

5:39
Malkin sighting!!1 Everybody Drin…..oh, Malkin penalty.

5:40
The more this turns into a shootout, the better it is for Pittsburgh. At this point there isn’t a lead that would be safe this afternoon. Ottawa can play the shootout game, but so can Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh can’t really play the grind-it-out game as we saw in game one.

5:41
My minor celebrity crush has another commercial during the playoffs. The redhead in a chip commercial who says Jah-Lap-Pen-Oh peppers. She kills me! ( C’mon people, find out her name and email it to me!!)

5:47
Pittsburgh is playing the dump it in protect the lead game again with four minutes left. What are the chances this works out for them?

5:48
Jordan Staal is now on a line with Mr Roberts. Good move Michel Therrien. You might just have a job next year.

5:51
1:00 left in the game, the refs have swallowed their whistle but do the Pens realize it?

5:53
Fleury ROBS Mike Fisher!!

5:54
Pittsburgh steals one.

Pittsburgh stole one this afternoon, but you need to do that in the opponents’ rink to win a series if you don’t have the home ice advantage. They got Ottawa to move away from their usual tight defensive team play and turned the game into a shoot out in the third period. Gary Roberts got the Penguins going with some timely hits and just plain old heady veteran smarts. The tying goal – the break that the Penguins needed but seemed reluctant to go after - was a testament to his constantly running motor. He ran the Ottawa defenseman off of the puck behind the Ottawa goal and made it easy for Michel Ouellet to get the puck out to Jordan Staal.

When the tight checking disappeared and the game opened up, Evegeni Malkin decided that it was time to make his appearance. His offensive skills helped the Pittsburgh offense get going and his assist on the winning goal was a thing of beauty.

Ottawa’s Ray Emery didn’t have a chance on the final goal, and would have had to make a spectacular save on Staals’ goal, or the Roberts Power plat goal, at the same time spectacular saves in the playoffs is what separates the top goaltenders from the Andrew Raycrofts of the league.

Giving the Meatballs Some Love

2007-04-13T10:28:00.000-05:00

If there is one thing I can’t stand it is unfounded bashing of great hockey players, especially when that players name is Mats Sundin. My comrade in blogging has decided to put forth the idea that Markus “The Human Playoff Disappearing Act” Naslund ranks higher on the Swedish meatball scale than the dedicated Leafs captain. This is even more stupid than the TSN decision to put Tie Domi on T.V. (Really, what insight can this guy have on the game? Are they going to do a special called “The Insiders Guide to Cheap shots? At least Roenick has the balls to something interesting and is the only guy there who wouldn’t be afraid to tell Domi off. At one point this year I think I saw Domi sniffing McGuire’s crotch! A blushing McGuire then went on a 30 second monologue about how Domi was a great presence in the locker room and how happy everyone at TSN is to have as part of the team). Back to the Swedes…..

A simple comparison will prove how much better Sundin was, is AND will be. First some stats. Sundin, who is only 2 years older, has 1243 career points in 1231 games. This includes 12 seasons of 30 goals or more and 5 seasons with at least 50 assists (for more see the link: http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/34/career . Those are stats worthy of a Campbell’s Chunky commercial and the Hockey Hall of Fame. Naslund has totaled 768 points in 953 games to date http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/533/career . It is true that Naslund has had a better single season that Sundin but he was also playing with better players. In the 2002-03 season Naslund was on a line with Todd Bertuzzi who was at his man-crushing peak. Sundin was lined up with Alex “Dangles” Mogliny and Gary Roberts who were sharing a groin and a back!

After the lockout Naslund has averaged less than a point per game while Sundin has averaged more than one per night. The rule changes should have made it easier for a guy with his “burst” and “agility” to score so why the decrease in productivity? I think that Naslund is ready to call it quits and take his millions back to Sweden where he can marry a blonde and yodel across the fjords. He has never shown an edge in his game and has never shown up in the playoffs. This is a guy who plays hockey for the money, not for the love of the game.

Say it with me, 'Blue Sky' McGuire...

2007-04-13T07:42:00.000-05:00

A note from that marathon in Vancouver last night – and why do the marathon overtime games always seem to happen on the west coast? – and some other thoughts….

Markus Naslund

- We don’t get to see him very much, but Markus Naslund is a splendid hockey player. If any Leaf fans want to see a Swedish captain playing with heart and desire, tune in to watch this guy play. I don’t think Sundin ever had the burst, agility and drive that this guy has.

(And if Sundin was truthful with himself, he would admit a change might do wonders for him as well. C’mon, the Leafs are two years – with a miracle – away from making any sort of run deep into the playoffs. Sundin is 52 now – in athlete years – and like most 52 year olds, he is going to want to spend more time on the golf course than he does at work. Signing him makes no sense and is a PR ploy at best. He needs to be somewhere where he will be the missing link to a Cup run. Like Ray Bourque did in Colorado, he needs to go to…… Buffalo, Dallas, Vancouver, somewhere he can be a compliment, not the focus. We will all be better for it.

First round notes;

- I know I picked the Islanders to upset the Sabres in the first round, but, uh, there is no way in hell the Islanders are going to win with Wade Double V in net. In fact, they will be hard pressed to win a single game. I foresee a desperate New York islander team rushing Rick Dipietro back into service for either game three or game four with disastrous results.

- Jeremy Roenick has been a splendid hockey player. He is one of the best American Hockey players in the history of the game, and I think he is his way to the HoF. At the same time, his hair leaves much to be desired. His over frosted hair gives him the look of someone who has a giant white spider perched on top of his head. Someone needs to tell him that he is on Television not radio…

- I’ll get into this in a little more detail later, but does anyone tell TSN colour analyst Pierre McGuire that everything can’t possibly be super, great, amazing, so this, the ultimate that? Hey, ‘Blue Skies’ McGuire, if Buffalo goalie Ryan Miller gets a twenty second gush-a-thon during the first playoff game of the first series that gives him a whopping total of 19 playoffs starts, then what do you do when you cover a game with Martin Brodeur starting for the Devils? Build a twenty foot golden statute of him and start genuflecting? Leave yourself some room, man!! Blue Sky McGuire. I think we should make that stick…

4/11 Highlight of the Night

2007-04-12T10:03:00.001-05:00

Ottawa vs Pittsburgh LIVE blog

2007-04-11T20:58:00.000-05:00

We going live baby!!

6:47 – I am a bit nervous, this live stuff is kinda anxiety building. The deal here is that I will watch the Ottawa game and type in my observations live, live, LIVE as they happen!!

I stole the idea from the Sports Guy Bill Simmons, but I am sure he stole it from
someone else, whatever, I am not sure I will be able to top the live blogs going on at nhl.com where they have such luminaries such as the guy from the TV show ‘Bones’ doing playoff blogs all being hosted by Christie Brinkley.

( I would have loved to be in that meeting in some café in NYC – the hockey epicenter, the very soul of the sport)
- ‘yeah uh, who do you think we could get to host the whole deal and stay within budget?
- What about Christie Brinkley?
- Call her agent, see if she will do it for $40 000, if he says yes lets get this thing committed to paper’
Was Boy George busy? Did anyone try to get Dan Rather? He has some free time…

6:54
I haven’t turned to TSN yet. I am a little scared to go there as I caught a bit of their 72 hr marathon of pre playoff coverage – I think they went from the trade deadline overkill straight into playoff hype. I think I saw a monkey making picks on TSN. I also saw a benobo chimp making picks. I guess the monkey was allowed some time away from his handler Belinda Stronach. How they got the suit over it’s massive head I will never know…

6:58
The weather woman on CBC is calling for snow and freezing rain. Wow, we are getting hockey weather with the playoffs…

6:59
Just cracked a beverage. I didn’t want to get all sloppy so I picked Pabst as my beverage for the evening. Pabst should change their tag line to ‘Yes. It’s supposed to taste like that.’ Somehow I don’t think they will be going down very quickly…

7:00
Ok. They went ahead any way. I was concerned that without the Leafs and the Habs, they might have canceled the playoffs, but they decided to go ahead. Great, I was a bit worried.

7:01 CBC’ opening montage has a bunch of highlights – goals, hits, plays, - what no fights? Ottawa native Katherine Edwards singing ‘I got moves you never seen..’ nice work CBC..

7:02
Dun da dun da dah, Dun da dun da dah !!!!!!!
7:03
Ron McLean opens and goes to Elliot Freidman in Ottawa.
Freidman still has the ‘I can’t believe I get paid for this’ look in his eyes on camera. He says Ottawa coach Bryan Murray will let Spezza cover Crosby. Anyone with Crosby in their playoff pool just made some money.

7:07
Camera panned on Sidney Crosby while that hockey Mountie sings the American anthem. He. Looks. PSYCHED.
They won’t be able to stop him tonight. Just a small prediction.

7:09
Alfredsson looks like a small town drifter with that buzzcut

7:10
Mountie dude does that pull the hanky out of his pocket and rev the crowd up thing that he does while singing the Canadian anthem. The crowd seems less than enthused. Maybe they saw Crosby on the big screen. Once again, he will be unstoppable.

7:11
Bob Cole puts his dulcet baritone to the play by play duties, and Neale his able colour guy. I love Cole and Neale, but the truth is these guys needs spotters. They are 105 and 101 years old. Thy couldn’t see a train coming towards them. They need help on the replays. I’ll do it.

7:13
Fleury is overplaying the angles and got beat. He is letting rebounds go all over the place.
Comrie scores 1-0 Ottawa.

7:14
Now the Ottawa crowd is into it. They start the ‘Fleuuuuury, Fleuuury chant!”

7:15
Not Harry Neale doing colour, but one of the fifty former goalies doing hockey commentary - Greg Millen.

7;16
Mesaros holds Stall and Pitt catches a break.

7:18
Fleury stops a shorthanded 2 on 1 with a through the crease side to side save.

7:19
Hoff calls to call out Pittsburgh coach Therrien. “Why doesn’t he have Roberts and Recchi start the game so the kids get a chance to lose the pressure jitters?” Good point.

7:21
Ottawa scores again. I think I jinxed Crosby. Fleury looks like as jittery as a deer in a shopping mall. We will see Thibault soon I think….

7:23
Cut to Mario in a trillion dollar suit in his owners box. Yeah he probably would help here…

7:24
9 shots for Ottawa. 2 for Pittsburgh.

7:25
Fleury holds on to his first rebound of the night. Two goals too late..

7:30
Ottawa power play. Double penalty. I think the question is when will Ottawa score on this power play not if. …

7:32
Hey Pittsburgh might just get through this…

7:33
Fleury holds onto anther rebound. Glory be..

7:34
And another rebound held. The tide be turning billy!!!

7:35
Fleury just made about four big time saves in a row. Sure his defenseman made one of them but…
Shots are 15 to 3 for Ottawa.

7:36
Gary Roberts draws a penalty. Can Pitt follow through? Nice first period so far.

7:41
Another Ottawa penalty, Pitt has them on their heels a bit now.

Just saw the massive VIAGRA ad in front of the Ottawa bench. I don’t want to be crude, but, if ever a team needed ‘stiffening up’ in the chase for the big prize, Ottawa is it..

7:45
The glass on the boards has to be changed and the rink crew comes on the ice to change it. They are all wearing helmets. Thanks Insurance industry. Say a hello to your cousin 'irresponsible litigation' for me will you?

7:46
Pitt penalty. Every play ends with one player or another gesturing to the ref protesting their innocence or complaining about a missed call. We need the 'no crying to the ref' rule in hockey . Call it hockeys version of the Rasheed Wallace rule. We will all be the better for it…

7:50
Pitt looking good killing yet another 5 on three penalty kill. U
h, Mr Bettman? Mr Campbell? Two 5 on threes in one period sucks the life out of Playoff hockey. I will just write a letter to you or send a quiet email.
Don cherry is about to go ballistic during his three minutes of slobber over this.

7:53
Coaches Corner
Hockeys John Madden credits Ottawa’s lead to ‘playin smart. Thanks for the detail Don.
Ron baits Don with a penalty question. Ron is such an enabler. If I was a functioning drug addict, I would ask for Ron McLean as my partner.
Cherry spends half the time talking about the Leafs. A team that didn’t make the playoffs.
Blue Blood folks, what can I say?

7:58
TSN here we go!!!
Let the screaming begin!! HELLO PIERRE McGUIRE!!!
Nashville vs San Jose Cheechoo vs Too Too!!

8:03
TSN has an in studio playoff desk with James Duthy, Darren Pang, Jeremy Roenick - and his massive head - , and Bob McDonald. Can you have a hockey panel with only one ex goaltender? Did the Hockey broadcast union know about this?

8:06
I like that funny Casino Rama commercial – “we showed people what excitement was”. Plus it stars the current Canadian commercial champ. She of the 5 national commercials at the same time my agent is kicking ass actress/champ. Don’t know her name but she is a redhead with that husky halting Brittany Murphy voice. She is my minor celebrity crush right now. She got some moxie.

8:10
San Jose/Nashville
Anthems playing. Players a rocking. Lets get it on!! Is there anything that gets your inner fan going better that the side to side tension release rocking by Hockey Players during the anthems at the start of the game?..

8:11
Don’t know who is calling the game but he is no Bob Cole. Oh great Pierre McGuire is doing colour. And our first penalty two minutes into the game.… I sense a theme here.
Back to Ottawa.

8:13
I need picture in picture.

8:17
First close up of Nashville coach Barry Trotz. I’m speechless. Only Claude ‘bobo the clown’ Julien looked more comical behind the bench. I am reminded of a Prehistoric Stegosaurus. Back to Ottawa.

8;21
Both teams settled down a bit. This is going to turn into a wait until the Power play type of game.
George Laraque sighting!!! Everyone drink!

8;24
98 year old Mark Recchi cycles down low for about an hour and skates through three or four crunching checks into the boards. Someone sneezes near Malkin and he falls…..

8;26
1-0 San Jose! Carle scored? I need Picture in Picture!!!

8:27
Greg Millen does a nice job explaining how the Pens kept the pressure on during the last shift. See Pierre? He didn’t scream or gush once! It can be done…

8:29
Staal, Malkin and Crosby. Zero shots on goal…

8:35
Preissing scores over Fleury’s shoulder. Perfect shot. Even though Fleury has been rushing about halfway to the blueline to cut down angles, Preissing picks the corner.

8:41
Staal gets a junk goal. Maybe Pittsburgh can make this close? You’ll never convince me that Staal doesn’t deserve the Calder over Malkin..

8;49
After two periods Ottawa has the Pens in almost every area. Where the hell is Malkin? I jinxed Crosby I am sure of it. This game has turned into a penalty fest. See leaf fans, It isn’t just Kerry Fraser.

8;53
HotStove!! They could not make this any less exciting. Even the commentators look bored. Someone needs to check Harry Neale for a pulse.
Stirring observation, they feel that Martin Brodeur will be a factor in the series against Tampa bay. You can’t buy that type of riveting analysis anywhere else folks ..

9:04
Nine seconds into the third, Heatly ices this game. Fleury lets another rebound free. Therrien should have pulled Fleury after the two goals. Mario Lemieux needs a real coach next year..

9:05
Five seconds later. Um. Funny thing happened. Crosby kicks it in. Millen hasn’t caught it yet. The ‘goal’ is under review.

9:07
Still waiting.

9:08
Still waiting. They are reviewing this in Toronto at the League officiating office. The rest of Canada must love that.

9:08:30
Goal is disallowed. Why didn’t they just call me? I told you they need a spotter in the booth. As long as the commentators are going to continue to average around 79 years of age, they need someone who can see without his progressive lenses…

9:14
Ottawa slowing the game down to a crawl. Icing. Icing. Long shot. Icing. Time for Mr Blue Ribbon again..

9:14:30
San Jose and Nashville are tied at 2.

9:17
Ottawa. Icing.

9:19
Breakaway goal by Neil. 5-1 Ottawa. Good thing my Crosby prediction isn’t making me look like a fool. Wait a second…..

9;23
Ottawa has been abusing Pittsburgh with their transition game. The Sens go on the attack in a blink.

9:24
Comrie scores. 6-1 Sens. Therrien? Pull Fleury now? Maybe? Whadaya think?

9:25
Crosby on the bench in Pain. It couldn’t possibly go any worse for Pittsburgh. Does Malkin still play for Pittsburgh??

9:27
George Laraque sighting!! Everybody drink!!

9:30
Finally Therrien lets Fleury out of the shooting gallery…
Thibault!! Now here comes the inevitable ‘late in the game and we are getting smoked’ scrum.

9:32
Eight minutes left. This game was done a while ago. Eight minutes to let the Refs shine!!

9:33
Gonchar scores on a 5 on 3 power play. Talk about garbage time. At least there is some genuine animosity building between the two teams. Any team that plays Ottawa eventually comes to hate them.
They wait till they have a big lead then start pasting everyone into the boards. They have pests in Fisher and Neil, and another in Swedish veteran pest Alfredsson. They boo your best player regardless if he is a decent guy or a mope. And the team is famous for falling short in the end. They never met a blowout they weren’t willing to pad with empty net goals. Ottawa is the biggest small town in Canada. If you play Ottawa more than once it is a virtual lock that you will begin to despise them…. Just saying….

9:47
Mercifully Crosby scores his first ever playoff goal. The Ottawa crowd boos. Don't wanna say i told you so….

9:47:50
Meaningless end of game scrum #38.

9:52
George Laraque sighting!! Everybody drink!!

9:52:35
Game over.
Pittsburgh is lucky they have an extra day before they have to play again. Ottawa smoked them. The only thing I saw Pittsburgh do well was that their Power Play had nice puck and player movement. No good scoring opportunities, just movement.
Will Malkin show up for the next game? Did he miss the filght? Will Therrien open the next game with Veterans, or will he throw his kids to the wolves again.

Whew! I wonder if this was good enough for Christie Brinkley???

It's a Poll

2007-04-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

Take the poll

Free Poll by Blog Flux

Blue Blood

2007-04-10T01:00:00.000-05:00

I was Doug Favell.

I was Wayne Thomas.

I was Mike Palmateer – my god we were all Mike Palmateer!!

In the basement stopping point blank wristshots from my brother, I was all of them, those heroes from my Saturday night childhood.

It was 1974 - and I know this because I can trace the date back to the style of mask Doug Favell was wearing - and I had my first sporting memory as a young child.
I was finally allowed along to stay up with my older brothers and watch Hockey Night in Canada. I saw Doug Favell – really the epitome of a journeyman goaltender if there ever was one – playing with that Leaf painted over his mask and I was finished.

I didn’t know what it was that drove my brothers and I to watch hockey on Saturday nights. It wasn’t like our parents were big hockey fans in ’75 – not much hockey talk in Port of Spain, Trinidad. Probably, we wanted to know what all the boys were talking about at recess on Monday morning.
My eldest brother didn’t have a burning desire to become a Hockey player; he wanted to be a musician, or a tennis player like Borg, Ashe, and Connors. ( It was the seventies, remember?) He would watch with us on Saturday night, but he wasn’t sick with it like we were. And by we I mean my older brother and I, separated by 18 months but both riddled with the same disease at nearly the same time.
We share this ailment with millions of others, but Sheldon and I have it bad.
What is this affliction that courses through our veins with such fervor?

We have Blue Blood.

Oh he will tell you that he loves Cam Neely, and Ray Bourque. I might tell you how hard I cheered when Patrick Roy was winning his Conn Smythe trophies for Montreal. Sheldon has Bruins jerseys and I might have a few Habitant posters here and there. But the truth is that for us these other teams are like a kind of vaccine, a temporary fix so the disease doesn’t ruin our love for hockey entirely.
We developed a love for the sport, but there was such disarray at the professional level in Toronto from the seventies up till the early nineties, that you had to find another team to follow in the playoffs because Bill Derlago, Fred Boimstruck and Gary Leeman were going to break your heart everytime. Throw in a big dose of Harold Ballard and it is a miracle that anyone still follows the game in Toronto.

This city is sick with Blue Bloods.
My fiancé’s father, a man from a small island in the Mediterranean, asked me on Monday morning to confirm that the Islanders had won, knocking the Leafs out.
- The Leafs got knocked out didn’t they, he asked.
No need to explain what they got knocked out of. We all knew.
Now I will bet my right arm that my sweethearts Dad couldn’t name a single player on the New York Islander roster, from any era.
I am pretty sure that he probably hasn’t watched a full hockey game in over ten years. But he knew that if the Islanders lost the Leafs would be in. In the Playoffs.
And there are millions like him and millions like me, who have seen the failures and collapses and pyrrhic victories pile up until we couldn’t stand it anymore.

I have a theory that when the Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the city of Toronto will go through a renaissance such as this city has never seen. And don’t get me wrong; I understand that the Leafs winning or losing the Stanley Cup won’t make a lick of difference to my Visa bill. And it won’t make it any easier for Toronto to get its fair share of money from the federal government.

I know all that. I’m not six anymore. Mostly I’m not.

The realized collective dream of a Maple Leaf Stanley Cup victory won’t make a bit of difference to the lives of 99.9 per cent of the individuals who will be celebrating. (Truly it will be the players who would be most impacted by claiming the top honour in their profession).
Individually, it won’t matter, but collectively I think that it will. When we wake up after the parades, - and trust me; there will be more than one – and the parties, and all the hoopla that goes with winning the Cup in a Canadian city, I believe that we all take a deep breath a say, ‘Is that it? Now what?’
Because when the great celebration is over, our Visa bills will still be there. We will still have a government subsidized airport on our waterfront that we don’t want. We will still not know who lives in the apartment next to ours, or the house beside ours, except for that now, maybe we will. Maybe when we all celebrate together, not just the Italians, not just the Greeks, not just the English, or the Sri Lankan. What happens when we celebrate as a City about the thing that we have coveted for so long? Well then, I think we might just change the playing field forever. Instead of this hazy multicultural anxiety that currently defines Toronto, we might all feel confident of our place and proud of our City. We might notice how safe our city is, how many opportunities there are, and how much education is available for our children when compared to cities of comparable size the world over.
We might start to feel blessed to be living here.
(I do know that this type of collective outburst isn’t limited to the Leafs. But like our forlorn team, we haven’t had a local figure emerge to galvanize the GTA since the sixties.)

So don’t call me a ‘hater’ when I point out that this current team can’t win.
Don’t hate me for seeing our current Captain for what he is - a great complimentary player, not a foundational leader.
Don’t curse me for laughing at the statement ‘Andrew Raycroft, big time goalie’.

It’s not that I am insensitive, and I am truly not a hater.

I have a problem, a sickness.
It’s my blood.

It’s Blue.

Masters '07 Roundup

2007-04-09T22:01:00.000-05:00

I was at the 2007 Masters.

That will do it for this years Masters '07 Roundup. Join me next year for another animosity filled edition of the Roundup.

Toodles.

Confirmation for Girlfriends and Wives everywhere..

2007-04-04T19:46:00.000-05:00

Leafs Nation (ca-ching!!!)

2007-04-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

I have seen evidence that the Chinese government is retaliating for the American viral attack three years ago that came to be known as SARS.

Right here in our very own city of Toronto, there is evidence that people have been afflicted by some mind-numbing, emotion-altering pathogen.

How else to explain the annual support for the Toronto Maple Leafs crawl to the bottom of the Eastern Conference playoff eligibility list.

There is no way any sane person could possibly look at this current collection of has-beens, (I'm talking to you Mats), never-weres (Travis Green, Yanic Perrault come on down!!) and never-will-be's, (Now entering the stadium...Nik Antropov, and Alex Ponikarovsky!!).

I can't take anymore honking horns.
I want the chants - the ever encouraging 'Go Leafs Go!!' to die stillborn in the throats of the deluded.
And the good luck Jerseys being worn in offices around the city need to stop.

(And if you are over 16 and you truly believe that wearing that faded 'Clark 17' jersey is really going to help this collection of pampered millionaires find the gumption to make a run at the Cup, well, then I have some beach front property I need to sell you in the Lower James Bay area.)

If certain facts haven't made themselves clear by now, then let me help you out.

When the stench is this bad for this long where do you point to? Who is the 'leader' of this team?

Ah, there's the rub.

This team is lead by the most overpaid 'Captain' in sports history. Let's call Mats Sundin's time for what it is. A Failure.

To credit him with trying during his shifts is not enough. He needs to make smarter decisions. He has never done well as the go-to guy, but he sells jerseys and in this town, that is just as good.

He is the highest paid Leaf in History, and one of the highest paid hockey players in history. He has little or no NHL success to show for all that cash.

To paraphrase prescient street prophets N.W.A; He ain't the one.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2007-04-04T11:52:00.000-05:00

SPORTS!!! SPORTS!!! SPORTS!!!

Spring is the best time of year for sports fans. Winter is fading, girls are coming out of hibernation and there are 3 (4 if you count MLS) professional sports in full swing. Hockey and basketball are gearing up for the playoffs and almost every game has post season implications. Baseball is still fresh and exciting and has yet to yield to the tedious monotony that comes from a 162 game schedule. The NCAA basketball tournament has just finished another exciting month of college basketball. Even golf fans are getting themselves prepared for another Tiger Woods show at Augusta.

One thing that I am getting sick of is seeing T.J Ford calling his own number at the end of games. Twice last night and multiple times this season, T.J. has decided that he wants to be the hero and failed. Pull up jumper, brick, desperate 3 pointer, brick. Check your self T.J., when the fans chant “MVP”, it isn’t for you. The Raptors have a few guys who are good at hitting big shots: Mo Pete, Luke Jackson, Anthony Parker (it hurts to admit that) and that number 4 guy; so why is T.J. shooting? If Sam Mitchell is running these plays for T.J. then that should be reason enough for Colangelo to dump him at the end of the season. It is ok to lose close games as long as you can say that you gave it your best effort but with Ford taking the final shot can the Raptors say that?

Tonight they play of “other” Florida team. Bosh loves to play Orlando and I expect a huge game for him and a comfortable win for the Raptors.

The Leafs made an exciting night out of what should have been an easy victory. They got lucky with the penalty in overtime but managed to take advantage of it. They still control their own destiny as long as they win out the season but they will have to play better if they want to do that. Sundin can’t be blamed for any of this. He is skating hard every shift and is trying to carry this team. He hasn’t scored much but has assisted on key goals all down the stretch. He will be the most important player in the next two games and I expect him to break out if this slump. I smell a huge game coming up for the big Swede!

Gators “Chop” there way into History

2007-04-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

The Florida Gators 84-75 over the Ohio State Buckeyes earned them their second straight national championship. Florida executed a solid game plan that focused on eliminating the Buckeye’s perimeter game. The sent a clear message to the future #1 pick “we don’t think you can beat us alone”. Ohio State thrives on ball penetration and “kicking it out” for open shots. Greg Oden’s presence in the middle forces teams to collapse on him much as NBA defenses have done against Shaq and the Wadeless Heat. Ohio State was unable to adapt to the Gators plan and it was their undoing. Florida unleashed an unselfish, team assault against the Buckeyes; Corey Brewery, Al Hoford, Lee Humphrey, Taurean Green all scored in double figures. Corey Brewer also got the nod for “Most Valuable player”. He was great in the first half and provided the motivational spark that led his team to victory.

This team should go down in history as being one of the best teams to achieve a championship repeat. The NCAA tournament is one of the most competitive and has the smallest margin of error. While the debate continues about who is the “overall” best team in sports history, the 2006-2007 Florida Gators should now be added into this conversation. What’s more unbelievable is that a team of highly talented basketball players as the Florida Gators could actually stay together after winning the championship the first time. In today’s day and age, with student athletes being drawn into professional sports by big pay checks and all the fame that comes with that, the Florida Gators stuck together. They risked big money and gambled on greatness; the gamble paid off.

Florida’s sport programs over the last year have defiantly solidified what being the best really means: winning National Championships. They now have the title of National Champs in basketball and in football. No other sport program in the history of the NCAA has completed winning the National Championship in basketball and football in the same year!

“One more year!!! One more year!!!” ; was what the crowd was cheering after the game. At first I thought that it was really a cliché ending but after thinking about it, even if it wasn’t that same Florida team that took the floor next season a Florida three-peat will put them in even higher company. Only one other team in NCAA basketball history has won three straight championships, the UCLA Bruins, from 1967-1973 (Yeah that’s right seven in a row which is totally unbelievable!). In order to do this Florida must be able to continuously have an amazing recruitment strategy which has been proven already and also handle the extreme adversity of March Madness!!! So you know what I will be saying next year: GO Gators GO!!!

P.S. This was written by our college sports expert Kevin Ramalingam

Salt On Monday

2007-04-02T16:50:00.000-05:00

A sweet Salty, and then the Leafs.....

The baseball season is starting today. I know two teams played last night, but this is the real Opening Day. It’s sunny outside and I have been checking the progress of my fantasy Baseball team, FREEPETEROSE, every thirty seconds.

(And by the way, my starting outfielder has hit for two home runs in four innings. You can’t stop Adam Dunn, you can only hope to contain him. What’s done is Dunn. Done and Dunn. I can keep going all day with this…)

The Blue Jays just beat the consensus top team in baseball – the Tigers – in extra innings 5-3.
It is relatively sunny.
I am moving back into my favorite part of the city.
What I am trying to say is I can’t find much salt today.

That is until I watch the Hockey highlights from yesterday.

Now, I see all the Leaf flags flying on cars. I see the packed sports bars when the Leafs are playing, I see the excitement of the sportscasters and writers when the Leafs actually move closer to playoff position.

Frankly it is embarrassing to live in a city where the fans get excited when the team gets closer to a playoff position. I have been watching the Leafs longer than I have been masturbating, and friends, I found my own personal fun stick at an early age. The last time this team had a collection of young stars that had a chance to make some sort of a run at the Stanley cup was in the late seventies.

Darryl Sittler 25 years old.
Lanny McDonald 23 years old.
Borje Salming 24 years old.
Ian Turnbull 22 years old.

In the four seasons starting from 1975, this quartet, Center Sittler, Winger McDonald, Defensemen Salming and Turnbull carried the team and gave true hope to Leaf fans.
Sittler averaged 98.5 points in the four year period starting with the 1975 season. McDonald averaged 88.75. Salming 71 points, and Turnbull 65 points.

Think about Sundin with a winger who wasn’t shit AND they were both under 100 years old. (And actually showed leadership on the ice.) Imagine that instead of Kaberle and McCabe as your top two blueliners, you had a guy who could skate and shoot better than Kaberle and didn’t shy away from taking the body. That was Salming. And instead of McCabe imagine a rear guard that could skate, hit, shoot and wasn’t 55 years old living off his contract year season.

Sittler, Salming, McDonald and Turnbull. Google these guys if you want to see a Leaf team that wasn’t 99% hype.

This current Leaf team sucks.

That Leaf team was young and talented.
May we live long enough to see that again.

SHAQ DADDY

2007-04-02T08:55:00.000-05:00

Not only is he the most dominant player ever, he might just be the most entertaining.
He can dunk, board and drop it like it's hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9LmHXXWiJs

Franchise Rankings

2007-03-29T12:26:00.000-05:00

Found this over on ESPN. Very interesting, and I think very accurate as well. The Raps, Jays, and Leafs are all where they should be.

http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnation/franchiseRanks

3/29 Highlights of the Night

2007-03-29T10:01:00.000-05:00

Shaq gives the league the "Old Shanghai Suprise"

2007-03-28T13:05:00.000-05:00

Oh God everything went from so good to so bad so quickly. Losing Bargnani for the rest of the regular season was a loss that the Raptors could handle, but losing Garbo might be too much. Remember back to the beginning of the season when the Raptors were struggling to find consistency and their identity as a team? Remember when that all changed? It was right after Garbajosa was put into the starting line-up and Bargnani was giving more playing time. Since then the team has suffered injuries to all the other starters except Nesterovic but have managed to continue winning. So maybe Bosh and Ford aren’t the key to victory, maybe it is the hustle guys that do the little things are more important. Hmmmmm.

This is not an idea that translates well between sports. A hustler like Reed Johnson can’t replace Albert Pujols and Shane Corson certainly can’t fill the void Sundin would leave, but basketball is different. Hustle players live on the glass, dive for loose balls and create chaos on the floor in which other players can thrive. Garbajosa gives the Raptors a dynamic edge even though his numbers aren’t great. He is classified as a NBA rookie but he has played 11 years of professional basketball and won a world championship with Spain. He is the most experienced basketball player on the Raptors roster and there are few people with a better understanding of the game.

The Raptors are going to have their hands full tonight. Shaq has the magic fingers going and his team mates are making the open shots that he creates for them. If the Raptors can get a couple of early fouls on Shaq then they have a chance. They need to run as much as they can and wear the old Heat out. I don’t have a very good feeling about tonight’s game and think that the Raptors are outmatched.

Despite the injuries, the Raptors are poised to win their first Atlantic Conference title and add their first banner to the ACC’s rafters. The question is who they are going to play in the first round. If the playoffs started today they would play Chicago but they could easily face Miami. Either way, the Raptors are probably not going past the first round and that is a good thing. This year is about experience and learning to play together. The Raptors have done a great job of that but they are still a few pieces away from competing for a championship. If they can get some playoff experience, win a post season game or two, they will put themselves in a great position for next year.

3/28 Highlight of the Night

2007-03-28T10:51:00.000-05:00

Poor Garbo

2007-03-27T09:01:00.000-05:00

Salt on Monday

2007-03-26T16:28:00.000-05:00

Ron and Don. The Canadian version of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

Oh Joy!!!

The CBC just signed an estimated 80 Million dollar PER YEAR contract with the NHL.

The question you have to ask yourself is why.

Why a public broadcaster is spending tax dollars on professional athletes.
The CBC should have a 10 year deal with the WHL, OHL, and the QMJHL, not the NHL.

Can you imagine PBS signing a 6 year deal with the NFL for a few billion while using tradition and profitability as the reason behind the deal?

And spare me the ‘Hockey is Canada’ rant already. If Hockey is so important to you get cable – stop siphoning my tax dollars to pay Don – everything was better in the 50’s – Cherry and Ron – the reigning passive aggressive champion 10 years running – McLean.

I would much rather that the CBC uses that money to develop filmmakers, musicians, journalists, writers, and fucking ditch diggers even. What part of their mandate says that they need to keep shelling out to a professional league?

Why everyone stands by and watches the CBC subsidize a professional billion dollar sports league is the best con job since Loose Change.

(Listen up you stupid morons. Two hijacked planes took the world trade center down. Not missiles. Not explosives. Not a massive conspiracy. Thousands of people would have to be in on it and not one, NOT ONE has sold their story to E fucking Talk Daily for their 15 minutes of fame, a chance to bang Kristin Cavalieri, and MILLIONS OF DOLLARS??
Yeah.
OK.
Here’s what I want you to do. No more wake and bake. It fucks with your mind.)

Hockey is NOT Canada. It is a sport that we are passionate about. IT’S A FUCKING GAME PEOPLE!!!!!

Will we ever tire of this Pavlovian chest beating around the game of hockey?
We are the best at it.
No-one is close.
We like being the best at it.
What about those true statements means you get to reach into my pocket to pay Mats Sundin 7 million a season? And make no mistake, the NHL may be a gate driven league, but Television and the media exposure drives the gate. And that gate pays the laconic Swede millions of dollars to spend in Sweden when he retires there in a couple of years.

(BTW, if you read this months Toronto Life, you will find an article on the top paid athletes in Tron and their charity donations. Vernon Wells donated 1 million to a Toronto Charity. Chris Bosh donated 1 million to a Toronto Charity. John Avery – an Argo for fucks sake! Dude makes like minimum plus tips! – donates time and money to Toronto charities. Sundin? $50,000 to some charity. Fitty Large, dog? That’s it? Who keeps telling me that Sundin doesn’t get a free pass in Toronto?)

At least Raptor/Jays money stays on this continent. And pays Canadian strippers. Them Raptors and Jays luv the strippers…..

(Boy it would be nice to hear the reaction of someone who has inside knowledge of the CBC - and knows someone in upper management – to get the inside scoop on this deal. If only…)

I can’t wait until the military draft comes back during the coming China Wars. Then no one will be paying anyone millions of dollars to play hockey.

That’s right. I said military draft. It’s either that or wait for the Americans to come and take our water…..

(it’s getting a little salty in here…)

Part of the Game

2007-03-26T12:37:00.000-05:00

True Canadian Hero!

I just watched a reply of the Dallas Cowboys / Washington Redskin game from 2006. What a game!! The definite highlight was when Larry Allen took offense to a cheap shot to Dallas Quarterback Tony Romo and squared up with Washington tough guy Joe Salave'a. They tossed their helmets and started to circle each other as the officials waited for a chance to step in. Salave'a got the first few jabs in, but Allen quickly got his right hand going and started to hammer away at the head of DT Salave'a. They fell on top of each other and then the refs stepped in to separate them. The home crowd roared Larry Allen's name, and the officials sent the two to the sidelines for their 5 Play penalty. Clear victory for Allen in this fight!

A great tilt! I love seeing a savvy vet step up to protect his teamates from cheapshots! What a great game. Those who think that fighting should be taken out of the NFL need to listen to the crowd roar when the two 300 pounders tossed their helmets and started to throw 'em!

What to watch?

2007-03-23T14:49:00.000-05:00

Two big games against two good opponents and the Toronto teams are underdogs in both. Tonight the Leafs play the Northeast leading Sabres in the front end of a home and home. The Leafs obviously need to win both these games in the playoff race although that seems unlikely. The Raptors play host the Denver Nuggets and two of the NBA’s best scorers. This is an interesting match-up because the Raptors will be without Bargnani and possibly Parker and Calderon too. The Nuggets are a good team and Iverson and Anthony are starting to play well together. They are very dangerous on the fast break and hard to defend in the half court. They question is what to watch?

Both of these games have the potential to be very good and both have the potential to be blowouts and the Toronto teams will have to play very well if they want to avoid the latter. The Raptors are without a key defensive player in Parker and a key offensive player in Bargnani. Parker has been essential in shutting down opposing swingmen all season. Bargnani stretches the defense and forces bigger players to come out and guard him a long way from the basket. The key to tonight will be in the half court. The Raptors will have to hit their shots off of screens and play a good high/low game with Bosh and Ford. The defense will have to try to keep Anthony off balance and hope that Iverson doesn’t get too hot otherwise this could get real ugly.

Speaking of ugly, out Toronto Maple Leafs play one of the ugliest games in the league and tonight they will be playing a team that plays one of the best. Buffalo is a smaller, faster and more maneuverable (thanks Top Gun) team. They have made Toronto look bad a couple times this season and there doesn’t seem to be any reason to expect otherwise tonight. The Leafs really need to come out of this weekend with 3 points and will be motivated, but they are out matched.

Taking the above into account, I am going to start the night with the Raptors game at 7. When the Leafs come on at 8 I will give them about 20 minutes. If they impress, I will stay with them but I have a feeling I am going to be spending the majority of the time watching the Raptors. Here’s to a great weekend of sports and lets hope it is good to Toronto.

Fan Abuse

2007-03-19T15:52:00.001-05:00

It is Monday morning and my teams have left me with that worthless, hollow feeling that an NDP booster feels after an election. Spending all that energy getting excited for games, taking the time to watch them and have nothing to show for it at the end. But unlike an NDP booster, there is some hope for sports fans in Toronto as long as weekend like these don’t happen too often.

The Leafs dropped two games that were, pardon the cliché, must wins. The sports writers in Toronto were saying that Kyle Wellwood’s return was going to make the difference, boy did they get that one right. A 5-1 smoking by Washington, followed by a 3-2 loss to the Canadians doesn’t make me think that Wellwood is the difference maker. The Leafs aren’t playing good hockey and their efforts are inconsistent. On top of that, they are just plain boring t watch. The grinding, cycling game that Maurice has drilled into them can be effective but it is ugly and dull. When was the last time a Leafs goal was a contender for highlight of the night? There is a serious shortage of scoring talent among the forwards and they traded a young defenseman for an old forward at the deadline. This team needs to find some pieces to rebuild around and hope that they can stay healthy.

The Raptors absolutely stunk yesterday. That third quarter was one of the worst they have played this year. Last week I wrote about how well they have played in the third and then they go and embarrass themselves like that….disgusting. Losing to the Rockets is fine, they split the season series with them and have to be happy with that but the Knicks?!?! Renaldo Balkman!?!?! The Nets also won yesterday which shrinks the Raptors Atlantic lead to 5 games. They need to focus on taking care of the ball and getting good shots.

The best things that happened this weekend were my fantasy baseball drafts. Yes, it is that time of the year again and while it seems exciting now, by midsummer I will be crying for something other than baseball. I am trying to get keeper pools going which are always precarious in their first couple years. You never know who is serious and who isn’t. I ended up with Miguel Cabrera in both first rounds so he better have a great year.

So Toronto, lets sit back and see what out teams do this spring. We aren’t going to have any championship parades for a while but there is always the hope. The Leafs still have a chance, the Raptors are going to the post season and the Jays….well we have a whole summer to talk about them.

Missing Out

2007-03-15T13:38:00.000-05:00

It is hard to be an NBA fan in Toronto. The best game of the month, if not the season, was on last night and all we get are highlights. The brain trust over at TSN thinks that showing a meaningless game between the Flames and Avalanche is better then watching two of the best players and teams in the NBA, idiots. Based on highlights and stat analysis, the Suns/Mavericks double overtime thriller was a fantastic game.

The Raptors out played the Knicks last night to move to 7 games over .500 and take a 6 game lead in the Atlantic. They played a tremendous third quarter where they shot over 70% from the field. I don’t know what Sam Mitchell is saying to them at halftime but it has been effective all season. The Raptors continually have great third quarters and Mitchell and the rest of the coaching staff deserve come credit.

T.J. Ford has been playing the best basketball of his career and is doing everything the Raptors hoped when they traded for him. He is driving the lane and when the defense collapses he is finding the open man. He scores when he has to but isn’t trying to dominate games. He has developed a much better feel for his role on the team. When Bosh was injured T.J. had to increase his scoring and struggled to find his place once Bosh came back. His timing couldn’t be better as the Raptors lost Calderon last night to an ankle injury.

I owe an apology to Anthony Parker. He has proven that he is a very important part of the team on both ends of the floor. He has proven himself as a solid defender and his 3 point percentage continues to increase.

The Rockets are coming to town on Friday and they will be looking for some revenge. Yao Ming has been playing excellent basketball since his return and will be hard for the Raptors to stop. The Raptors need to shoot really well and keep T-Mac from getting too hot. I think the Rockets are going to win this game 90-85.

WOW....JUST WOW

2007-03-07T11:32:00.000-05:00

I threw up in my mouth last night. That was the most disgusting defensive effort I have seen this year. 70 points in the first half?!?! The Wizards were all over the place and the Raptors were just standing still. They couldn’t defend against the backdoor cuts and Arenas, Jamison and Butler combined for 62 points. I understand that when a player like Arenas has his shot going there isn’t much you can do to stop him but at least stop the rest of the team. The Wizards joined the Bucks and Cavs in telling the Raptors that their recent loses to Toronto are not going to become the norm. Toronto beat them when they were without key players and they have played with an edge that Toronto hasn’t had.

Rebounding is becoming a very serious problem for the Raptors. They have two seven footers and Bosh isn’t far behind at 6-10, how are they getting out rebounded 49-27? How does Bosh pull down ONE rebound? You can’t win in the playoffs or the regular season without controlling the glass and the Wizards had 17 offensive rebounds. There were times when there were 3 Raptors around the net and the lone Wizard player got the ball. Humphries has been doing a good job recently and had 5 boards in 13 minutes, the same as Bargnani, Bosh and Nesterovic combined. Maybe Mitchell should give him more time as he is one of few players who are willing to get physical under the basket.

Bosh didn’t play badly last night but he isn’t getting the same fouls called. He was putting himself into the upper echelon of players who get better calls around the basket but that seems to be changing. Teams are collapsing down on him hard and fast, taking away his space and he is getting bounced around. He tried hard to bring his team back and make last night’s game competitive but he just didn’t have enough help.

Is it time to start wondering if Anthony Parker is more important to this team then people realize? Is it possible that the “Chucker” is the key to the Raptors defense? He does match up against the opposing team’s best offensive player every night and usually does a very good job. He also stretches the floor with his improving three point shot. We will see how much credit he deserves when he comes back from his sprained ankle.

I am reigning in my predictions tonight. Pau Gasol has been playing really good basketball recently and I am sure Chicago fans are cursing. I have no idea how we are going to contain him but I think that the Raptors will find a way to win as long as they play defense. 100-95 Raptors.

The Fear

2007-03-05T20:38:00.001-05:00

I don't know if I will ever get over the fear that the Raptors will go back to what they were. In the past 2 months they have giving fans a taste of what they once were and what they will hopefully become; a respectable NBA franchise. The past years have been dark ones for Raptor fans as the team has been poorly managed, mocked by NBA pundits and at times just plain embarrassing. Since November they have been making improvements every game, playing with purpose and as a team. Fans were coming back sucked in by the hypnotic rhythm of Chucky Swirsky’s voice and then they have a weekend like the one that just past.

Friday night was an absolute stinker. In front of a sell out crowd, on Friday night, they decided to revert back to being a team that looked helpless. Penetrate and kick out, penetrate and kick out, penetrate, kick out and chuck up a three; is that a game plan? To Milwaukee’s credit, they completely shut down Bosh. The Raptors couldn't get the ball into him and when they did Ruben Patterson was just too quick (it is interesting who Bosh has a hard time playing against, but that is another topic.). Ok, it is fine to play terribly once in a while as long as you come back strong the next night.

I am not going to say much about Saturday other than the Raptors did not come back strong. Cleveland steamrolled them and sent a clear message that they were not satisfied with only beating the Raptors by one point a week before. It is true that both Bargnani and Parker weren’t in the lineup but that is no excuse. A friend commented that the poor play started when Parker got injured but I refuse to believe that he is the key to this team. The bench stank, TJ was doing his bench Mike James impression and Mo Pete and Joey Graham should have stayed home. This team was not ready to compete and Sam Mitchell is partially responsible.

Insecurity is a terrible feeling for a fan. I want to cheer, I want to support, I want to invest emotion but I have been burned by this team too many times. I am sure I am not the only one who has been feeling like this during the past 2 games. It doesn’t look like the same team. I expect to see that mad scientist, Kevin O’Neill when I look at the bench. The defense has gone very soft and Bosh is not converting as efficiently as he was. He is trying to get to the line but the calls haven’t been going his way. I am extremely worried about the Wizards game tonight. Jamison is back and you just never know when Arenas is actually going to do what he says and score 50. After that they have the Sonics and then Milwaukee again. If they play like they did last weekend they will lose all three of those games.

Predictions: Bosh 30 points and ten boards. He will get to the line 15 times tonight. Toronto 110 Washington 103

Much ado about nothing…

2007-03-01T19:39:00.000-05:00

So here we are, at Sports Hype Overkill week.
Every year, sports media, bloated from their Super Bowl orgy, reflexively latch on to this meaningless week in the middle of winter.
Cabin Fever?
Maybe budgets are being compiled and they need to show their value? Who knows. What I do know is that the end of February/Beginning of March is the epitome of sports media hyperbole.
The NHL and NBA trade deadlines are followed as if they were national election results. (Yeah this is what we need. Pierre McGuire explaining how a fourth line winger will make all the difference come playoff time. Are we finished with this guy yet? He has the worst delivery of any sportscaster short of Tie Domi. The NBA just pretended that there was no trade deadline to worry about. OK. If I am Rod Thorn {New jersey Nets GM}, I know Vince is gone at the end of the year, I also know that I am life or death to make the playoffs. So what do I do at the trade deadline? Scratch myself. Yawn. Anything but make a trade. Feh….)
Never mind that there hasn’t been a truly spectacular trade at the deadline for years because the Caps in these leagues prevent GM’s from hurting their teams with stupid moves. (Oh how we miss you Maple Leaf General Manager Gord Stellick.)

The NFL has it’s Draft combine this week as well, and if you don’t get enough homo eroticism watching Prison Break, then this is must see television for you!

(Picture a room full of out of shape Older Men – pattern baldness ruling the day – looking at 21-24 year old athletes in their underwear – no shirts weeee!! – get weighed, and put through a series of tests. You haven’t lived till you have seen the grossly overweight Mike Holmgren stare down an underwear clad Draft hopeful from head to toe and comment on his ‘nice bubble’ butt.)

And the Combine is Televised!! Fuck the revolution; the NFL Draft Combine is Televised!! Hootie Hoo!!!!!!

I don’t get why fans get so excited about the physique of a possible draft pick. Do you want an Offensive lineman who can get out to the second level and put a hat on somebody, or do you want to make out with him after school? Do you want sacks from that Defensive End, or do you want to date him? Who cares what he looks like?

(On that note, I have never heard as many comments about a player’s physique as I have heard regarding Terrell Owens. One friend – who shall remain nameless ‘coff ‘CHRIS HOFF’ coff – just raved about Mr Owens’ body. I told him that I didn’t want to fuck T.O, I wanted him to catch touchdowns.)

The real event of this time frame is the annual Free Agency deadline in the NFL. See, unlike the other leagues, the salary cap in the NFL goes up every year.
And up.
And up.
And up.
During this time, smart teams – Like Indy, New England, and Dallas – cut veteran players and use the extra dough to sign players that are unrestricted free agents. Dumb teams – Redskins!!! – Overpay for mediocre talent and just eat up cap space that they might be able to use the next year to keep players from entering free agency. So to break it down, if the Redskins didn’t pay Adam – Special Teams Demon! – Archuleta a gazillion dollars last year to watch his back up play, they would have enough money to afford their starting Guard Derrick Dockery who is about to sign with hated rival Dallas – remember you read it here first.

(Of course the off season champion Redskins are now rumored to be looking at overpaying 32 year old LB London ‘Dot Com’ Fletcher. That team is as predictable as the Oscars. Who among us was surprised when we watched the ‘tears of a clown’ look on Forrest Whitaker’s face as he was receiving his Oscar?
I called this in October.
The dude just did ‘Battlefield Earth’ to pay the bills, he knew someone was going to do an Edi Amin biopic. Amin was rumored to have eaten his foes.
The script writes itself! How easy would funding have been, just mention the cannibalism of an African Leader to prospective backers and watch the chequebooks fly open! Good lord, the Coors family alone probably put up about 20 mil.)

Calling out the Raps

2007-03-01T14:18:00.000-05:00

I love when I am right. The Raptors did exactly what I predicted them to do and won a huge game in Houston. Although Bosh didn’t put up the offensive numbers I called for; he set the tone for the game and his team. The ball movement was fantastic and they had 26 assists on 44 field goals. Ball movement is exactly what was missing during the previous game against the Spurs. Bargnani was outstanding last night. He has been showing flashes of brilliance and every Raptor fan has got to be excited about being able to watch this kid as he grows. My final comment on last night’s game is about what Chuck Swirsky call “Onions”. These Raptors have got them and it shows. They are all playing with a swagger that can be seen and felt by the other team.

Brian Colangelo is looking like a genius by getting rid of Fred Jones for Juan Dixon. I think that Jones was a negative influence and unhappy about his limited role on the team. Dixon is going to step and take the minutes he is given and play as hard as he can. Hopefully he can do for the Raptors what Lindsey Hunter does for the Pistons; provide solid defense and keep the offense flowing while the starters rest. What I love about Colangelo is his decisiveness; he saw that the Jones experiment wasn’t working and made the necessary changes.

The Raptors are going to face a Bucks team tomorrow that is totally different than the one the met up with a couple weeks ago. Redd, Bogut, Charlie V and Mo Williams are all healthy again and Milwaukee is playing well but that isn’t going to make a difference. The Raptors are going to win this game and score 100 plus points while doing it. Bosh is going to get 25 plus points, I can feel it!

TRADE DEADLINES

The NBA needs to take some advice from the NHL on how to work trade deadlines. Basketball sports writers spent weeks writing columns about possible trade only to have nothing happen on the actual day. The NHL had 25 trades including some big names. Edmonton broke the hearts of their fans by trading the club’s most important player. The point is there was drama, real drama. Yes, it was hyped up by TSN and those hacks on Sportnet, but there was still a story. Teams are taking risks to win a championship this year. The NHL has reached a level of parity where one player can make a difference and everyone in the NBA knows it is a three team race and no trade was going to change that.

Oh God It Hurts!

2007-02-27T17:32:00.000-05:00

“Ouch, ouch ouch! Daddy, the big boys beat me up!” That’s all the Raptors could say last night. I have said it before, we can’t beat teams and the Spurs are the NBA’s best example of a team. They play tough on both ends of the floor and have arguably the best player of the past 5 years in Duncan. The Raptors have been dominating most of the Eastern Conference but they just aren’t ready to compete with the upper echelon NBA teams.

Bosh and Ford were 9-30 from the floor…that is terrible. Can you imagine a playoff series against these teams? All of the Raptors would have to seek psychiatric care to inferiority complexes. Can you imagine Jorge Garbajosa lying on a couch telling the shrink about how is father forced him to become a dirty, Spanish porn star? He would cry on the couch and explain that he grew that terrible facial hair to protect him from the scratching of unshaven Spanish women. I don’t want to hear that and I don’t want to see the Raptors play the Spurs again for as long as possible. The Raptors have come a long way, but have a long way to go to get to the Spurs level.

Tomorrow night the Raptors face the Rockets. During my time in China, this was the only chance that I had to see the Raptors play. The Raptors generally play well against the Rockets and without Yao Ming in the lineup they stand a very good chance of winning. Bosh is going to bounce back with his standard 25 and 10. The key to this game will be breaking down the Rockets excellent half court defense. We need Ford running hard and Calderon cutting to the net and hopefully get T-Mac to miss some of his own shots. This should be a good game.

One thing that has been bothering me is the lack of a good bar in Toronto where you can watch the Raptors on the same night as the Leafs. I really don’t care about the Leafs right now. They aren’t going to make the playoffs and are boring to watch. Anyone who suffered through the Saturday game against the Flyers has more dedication than I do. This city is going to go Raptor crazy when they are in the playoffs and the Leafs are golfing. Hopefully then, the bars will put them onto the big screens and I won’t have to watch their games on the small side screens. There should be a bar that does Toronto Raptor nights. They show the game big screens and ban Leafs games. I think there is a market for that and if anyone knows a place let me know! As for now, I am off to watch the Leafs get killed by Buffalo because whether I like the Leafs or not, it is the only sports to watch tonight and I love sports.

Goalie Fights

2007-02-23T17:40:00.000-05:00

I love watching goalies fight! Last nights tilt between Ottawa’s Ray Emory and Buffalo’s Martin Biron wasn’t a classic, but it was funny. Emory seemed to revel in the chance to slap around the French Canadian. Emery had a huge smile on his face and easily dropped Biron. In an attempt to redeem himself, Biron tripped Emery by pulling on his pads. It looked more like second graders in a sandbox rumble than 2 angry men ready to fight to defend their teams honor. There is a great rivalry developing between these two teams. When the Sabres were beating everyone earlier in the year, the Senators had their number. Now the roles seem to be reversing and took on a nasty tone when Sabres captain, Chris Drury, was blindsided by Chris Neil and had to be helped off the ice. The game between these two on Saturday should be a good and maybe Emery will get the chance to beat up Ryan Miller too.

I think that Ottawa’s reputation of being a team that is lacking grit and easily pushed around is unfair. If you look back at the past couple years, these guys have been involved on some of the NHL’s biggest brawls including the mayhem that ended a game with the Flyers. The fact that they can’t win in the post season doesn’t mean that they don’t have grit. Suspect goal tending and poor leadership (Alfie sucks) are more to blame.

I don’t want to talk about the Leafs today. They could only muster two goals and neither of them came of sticks...Pathetic.

I am hoping the Raptors are going to prove me right in an argument I was having with a buddy. He said that they were going to stumble after the All Star break. I am convinced that they will be able to use the momentum they had going before the break to extend their lead in the Atlantic division. After the unmotivated effort on Wednesday I am wondering if I am right. What killed me on Wednesday was T.J. Ford recklessly driving the lane and tossing up a hopeless shot in the dying seconds of the game. The game plan is simple: give the ball to Bosh. He has continually made big shots at the end of games. He is the hero, not you T.J.

I may or may not be starting to like Anthony Parker. I picked him up in my basketball pool because D-Wade went down. I can’t have a guy on my team who is a chucker so I might be removing that label.

I’m not sure which Raptor team will show up tonight. If Bosh got some rest and can make his shots this should be a win. He will put up 25 and 10.

We definitely got the best of the Jones/Dixon trade. Jones wasn’t playing and the Raptors have depth at the 2 and 3 position. I think this was more of a chemistry move than anything else. Jones was sending out bad vibes and Colangelo dumped him. Great job keeping Mo Pete. He has so much heart and is bringing a great game off the bench. This team has balls and the league is starting to see it. The swagger was there before the All Star break and they are going to bring it back tonight!

Raps vs Cavs

2007-02-21T17:56:00.000-05:00

Who is the best player to come out of the 2003 NBA draft? What’s that? Do you hear the chant? D-WADE! D-WADE! D-WADE! This guy is the most exciting player in the NBA. The Score’s show Court Cuts devotes and entire section of each weeks highlights to this one player. No one and I mean no one attacks the basket like this guy. Every night he plays he makes the highlight real and he does it with or without Shaq. Wade kept his team around 500 while Shaq was out and still managed to put up huge numbers. 28 points, 9 free throws, 4.8 boards, 7.8 assists 2.1 steals and 1.3 blocks per game! He has more blocks than Chris Bosh! It is true, I do have a bit of a man crush on Wade and I do have him on my fantasy team but I still think that I am unbiased about this.

Tonight the Raptors are going to face the player who was supposed to be the best pick in that draft. Lebron James has had a very disappointing year. All of his stats are down. He recently said that his goal was to become a “global icon”. I think he should be more concerned with getting his free through percentage above 70%. There are also some interesting statements being thrown around sports media circle questioning his commitment to his team, his coach and his daily effort. If I am Lebron, I am pretty concerned with people questioning my commitment levels. Does he want to be a global icon for excellence or for the guy that never tried hard enough to reach his potential? I am sure that the long lists of companies that he endorses don’t want to be associated with someone who has the reputation of a slacker.

I am calling the Raptors to win tonight. Bosh will put up 28 and 9 boards. I am interested to see how Parker deals with being matched-up with another big name. He did a great job on Kobe and played Vince well too.

On another note, we are getting ready to put out our first top 50 fantasy player list. We will be getting baseball done first so that people can have another cheat sheet for the upcoming drafts.

A Different Lens

2007-02-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

There are very few people who can look at something and find the true story that lies beneath. It is the ability to look past what is shown you and find the real issue at hand. This ability usually makes people uncomfortable because they are forced to face something they don’t want to see. I am not saying that I am one of those people, but sometimes, when the moon is properly aligned I have an insight or two.

Here is a non-sports related example. If you have ever woken up early on a Sunday morning and turned on the TV you will have invariably seen Rod Black, or some other two bit television star, asking you for money to save a child, dig a well or start a school. These programmes show what fat, rich people in first world countries can do for the cost of a cup of coffee a day. The real story is not the one well that works; it is the thousands that don’t. It is not the child that is saved, but the thousands that are forced to wield AK-47s in order to survive. It makes people uncomfortable to confront the truth but it is our responsibility to do so. Sorry to bum anyone out but I think I made my point.

Back to sports. The story surrounding the NBA last week was “coming out” of former player John Amaechi. He is the first NBA player to openly talk about the fact that he is a homosexual. The question here is why is it such a big story? There are thousands of men who play professional sports and common sense dictates that not all of them are going to be red meat eating, beer swilling heterosexuals.

ESPN is the company that published Amaechi’s book. When the editors and marketers read it they must have realized that the best way so sell the most copies was to make a huge deal out of this. Headlines about the “First openly gay ex-NBAer” adorned ESPN’s web site. Why did Amaechi come out or why did ESPN decide to make this an issue is obvious. Amaechi can become a spokes person for gay athletes and both he and ESPN can make some money in the process. The question is: Where are the others?

Where are the other gay professional athletes; or did you trick yourself into thinking there was only one? They are there, on every team, in every sport, in every country. They have always been there, forced to hide their true selves. The fear of being shunned by teammates, rejected as role models and possibly lose their job has been enough keep these men quiet.

We may think that in the year 2007, this would not be an issue. That a man or woman's sexuality has bearing on how well they play a sport or how good of teammate they are may seem ridiculous to many, but then Tim Hardaway opens his mouth and reality come back like an angry pimp smack; “I don't like gay people, and it [homosexuality] shouldn't be in the world or the United States.” What?!?! Are you kidding me? The though that immediately goes through my mind is that this guy needs to be muzzled by the NBA and then be shipped off to where ever they are hiding Jesse Helms. Let the two of them have a hate filled, gay bashing bonfire, except that Helms would probably turn on Hardaway once they had purged all the homosexuals.

Ok, you think, but Tim Hardaway is just one voice and he doesn't speak for the rest of the NBA or other professional sports. I don't see NBA players lining up to condone Amaechi's book or say that they would have no problem sharing a locker room with a gay teammate. David Stern and NBA franchises must have told their players to keep quiet about this one. People don't really want to know how players feel. They don't want to know that the NBA is about as tolerant as the post-Civil War American South.

Facing this problem is the only way to fix it. We must talk about it and be comfortable and secure enough in ourselves to be able to accept differences in others. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a major sports writer who is willing to address the subject. He is probably afraid that by exposing the underlying hatred he will lose his sources and himself become an outcast of the sports world. This is an issue that needs to be confronted, explained and defused in a way that people will listen. It must be done by someone who can look through a different lens.

Sports’ writing is an oxymoron

2007-02-18T16:34:00.000-05:00

If you have been paying attention – and I am talking to all four of the regular readers of this august blog – you have noticed that there has been a distinct difference in the topic and tone of what I write as compared to what the proposed raison d’etre of this blog is supposed to be.

And sometimes I wonder if I am just being a hater, cause I can do that in a hurry. (What did you say? The sky is blue? I think I see hues of green and yellow there! And what about at night? Is it blue then? What about when you are looking at the sky through smog? It sure isn’t blue then! And what about…..)

So yeah some of the time I can be a pain in the ass just because.

Not this time though.
I think we can all agree that sports today is at times an excuse for a media orgy. Large corporations have figured out that content – at times dripping with tedium and fraud – will keep people coming back again and again. It doesn’t matter if it is crap as long as it keeps changing its’ appearance.
So this week it is some blather about Multi millionaire Dale Earnhart Jr and his feud with his multi millionaire stepmother, and a few weeks ago it was all about whether or not the Peyton Manning love-in would be ordered to a close by the FCC, because porn isn’t legal over the public airwaves yet.

(That is not to say that the current media overload hasn’t had some positive impact. I don’t think we will ever automatically equate heroism with sporting proficiency while sober at any point in my lifetime. And by the way, the oedipal connotations of Earnhart and his step momma might just make these pages in the next few days.)

So I though I would list a few things that I call bullshit on, on a daily basis in the wide world of sports writing, and locate the kryptonite to these mendacities.

Pre season predictions down to the end of season champion.
Is there any refuge as reprehensible as the beginning of the season prediction? No one ever goes back and says ‘yeah I thought that The Redskins were going to the Super Bowl. Turns out every one of my reasons were about as far off as could be. Hey I still get paid right?’
Or
‘I know I told you to draft Texiera in the first round, uh, my bad?’

That the pre season prediction game is such as morass of displaced credibility and has taken on a life of its’ own is one of my secret joys at the start of each season. Witness the mountain of publications and websites touting their champions and who to draft where. Is this not taking away the inherent reason that we watch sports? Because we don’t know what is going to happen? And except for the American League East division, ( uh, Yankees, Red Sox, Jays) are any of these predictions worth the $5.75 we paid for them. Or that one time offer for a yearlong subscription? A remarkable waste of pages and pixels.

The Kryptonite
Look for the articles that talk about the dramas that are going to unfold like ‘How is Bud Selig going to make himself disappear when Barry Bonds breaks the Home Run record?”
Or, “Will T.O. still be able to get the entire ESPN football division to follow him again?”

Guys Playing the right way. Or the ‘Playing with emotion’ spiel.
Commonly known as ‘how to give credit to the less talented (most often white) media suck up cause the true top player treats us like a bunch of vanilla cupcakes with microphones and notepads’. Case in point, Raptor Fan favorite, the Junk Yard Dog Jerome Williams. This guy got paid MILLIONS for what? Doing what any number of JUCO players could have done. That he was such a big part of the proposed Raptor Future was more an indictment of the front office – now blown up – than it was regarding the talent level of the team. Why didn’t anyone have the stones to talk to Oakley? Sure he might have slapped you, but he would have educated you before the assault.

The Kryptonite
Every time you see Brett Favre chuck up another helpless hail mary of a pass, while the announcer goes on about how he is ‘just having fun out there’, turn to the person next to you and say, ‘He sucks now. He has sucked for about four years. He needs to retire’. Trust me, you will feel great afterwards.

Fantasy Sports

2007-02-15T16:15:00.000-05:00

Before we get to fantasy sports, let's have a look at this picture.

It’s not a smile, a grin, a knowing look or any other friendly facial expression; it’s a smirk. It’s the same condescending look that Vince Carter always wears when he plays the Raptors. He flashed it at Chris Bosh when fans chanted “MVP!” and he smugly threw it at Mo Pete while the longest serving Raptor tried to pump up the crowd but by the end of the game the Raptors had wiped the smirk from his face. During the final minutes of last night’s match up between the top teams in the Atlantic, Carter had a face like a slapped ass. It was fantastic. It doesn’t matter that the Nets were missing three of their starters; a message was sent. The Raptors are the better team.

Let’s talk about fantasy sports. For those of you who don’t know, I started a keeper hockey league with nine friends of mine a year and a half ago. We had been playing in an annual pool and decided that the best way to make the General Manager experience more complete was to allow each manager to keep two players from their teams every year. This means that managers with teams on the edge can trade away picks to try and win this year and others can improve their chances in next year’s draft.

This season started slowly but as the NHL’s and fantasy league’s trade deadline approaches people have been more interested making moves. In the past week, someone traded away Jagr for a second round draft pick. The manager who grabbed Jagr now has an excellent chance to win this year and the other GM will have 2 second round picks next year. It has been interesting to watch as managers decide when it is time to make a move. My team is sitting in the middle of the pack but I don’t think that adding one more player is going to put me into the top 3 so, as of now, I am holding on to my picks.

This is the next level of fantasy pools. Being able to trade next years draft picks and choosing franchise players to keep adds an exciting extra dimension.

The only problem with a keeper pool is that you have to have a group of people who are willing to commit to the pool for a number of years and it can be difficult to replace managers. New comers have to choose keepers from someone else’s team and it take a while for them to put a personal touch on their team.

Years ago a website called sandbox offered keeper baseball leagues. They were great leagues but you had to pay for them. I am organizing a keeper baseball pool this year and am hoping that it will as successful as the hockey venture. Baseball is the best sport for fantasy pools. It is a statistical game and the seemingly endless season is made more bearable when you have a vested interest in a pool. There are so many positions and player in baseball that keeping 3 players per team will allow managers to create a team identity. Some people will decide to keep all hitters, others pitchers and some a combination of both. Being able to stockpile talent at a position will also create new trading options.

The baseball pool season is about to open on Yahoo and I am planning to get my leagues ready tomorrow. I will be getting together with some other fantasy experts to put together some draft tips as well as fantasy draft guides so stay tuned!

Ford, Claderon and Gin & Tussin!

2007-02-14T16:18:00.000-05:00

T.J. Ford has reclaimed his role as Toronto’s starting point guard. Sam Mitchell and Brian Colangelo are hoping that will be the end of any discussion about who should be starting for Raptors. Too bad Jose Calderon is out playing Ford. Calderon is making a very convincing case for himself to be top point guard for the Raptors. He is hitting big shots, playing great defense and most importantly; he always seems to be getting the ball into the right player’s hands. I know that Ford is the franchise’s point guard for the future; but man it has got to be hard for Mitchell to keep Calderon on the bench. Last night Calderon put up 16 points to go along with 9 dimes and 5 boards compared to Fords 7 points, 7 assists and 1 rebound; Calderon also played one minute less. Right now, I feel more comfortable when Calderon is on the floor running the offense and I think that the team feels the same way. I will be watching closely to see how minutes are dished out.

I hope the Raptors blow out the Nets tonight. Without Kidd and Jefferson on the floor the Raptors should be able to key in on Carter and shut him down. I hate Carter so much!!! He simply gave up on the Raptors and there is no excuse for that. I am happy that he is proving to be an inconsistent player who can’t lead his team into the playoffs. If you want to sell tickets you get Vince Carter and if you want to win championships you get Shaq. Bosh could score 40 tonight. Richard Jefferson has been one of the few players in the East who has proven he can shut Bosh down and he won’t be playing.

The Leafs played a forgettable game last night. What an effort by Rick Dipietro! The Leafs out shot the Islanders 16-1 in the third period and couldn’t put one past the goalie. What must have made every Leafs fan upset was to see what Antropov and Ponikarovsky did in the shootout. These two oafs both decided to try and score on wrists shots?!?! No moves, no stick dangles, not even a head fake; just a wrister in to the pads of the goalie. Maybe they think they are the next comings of Mats Sundin. Sundin scored his shootout goal on an absolutely perfect shot into the top corner of the net. If those two donkeys think that they can just skate up to a NHL goalie and score without making a move then Paul Maurice needs to rethink who he selects for the shootout.

The Leafs should bring back Mogilny to teach some dangles to the next generation. Gary Roberts would have broken Ponikarovsky and Antropov’s neck if they had tried that rubbish with him on the team. If they are going to bring back players then they should also think about getting Belfour to introduce Raycroft to his secret Gin and Tussin’ recipe. Belfour would go through 3 bottles of his recipe every night and still easily stop any rookie in a shootout. Raycroft had a good night but you can’t let some rookie embarrass you like that in a shootout.

It’s hard to be fan of this team and I think most people in the city are jumping on and off the band wagon with every game. They really need to make the sensible decision and rebuild this team.

Confucius says "To Beat a Team You Must Be a Team"

2007-02-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

Brian Colangelo builds teams and teams win championships. The Raptors are a team in the truest sense of the word. Yes, they are built around a superstar but they only win when they play as a team. Bosh is not the typical, swing-man, NBA superstar in the mold of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and T-Mac. If a comparison has to be made it would be with the player who has quietly had a Hall of Fame career: Tim Duncan.

Duncan and Bosh play the unglamorous power forward position. Their body type keeps them from throwing down the jaw dropping dunks that have made so many shooting guards famous. We don’t see them dribbling the ball up the court or running the plays from the top of the key. This results in less media attention and thus less attention from the fans. This is very unfortunate because what players like Bosh and Duncan bring is maybe the most important building block for a team. The threat they pose with their inside/outside game forces defenses to come out and cover them as well as double team them in the post. This opens up driving lanes and open looks for the rest of the team. Anyone that says Tony Parker would ever have been an All Star without Duncan is spending too much time looking at his girlfriend (a great pass time!) and not enough time looking at his game. Parker can’t shoot. He can lay the ball up with both hands and does it with the best but he cannot shoot. His career field goal percentage is a very deceiving 48.5% because of the number of lay-ups he makes. Anyone who watches his game will know that he has a very difficult time making jump shots on a regular basis. If you take away Duncan, you take away the lanes and you take away Parker. I can’t wait until Duncan retires and all those “great” Spurs players are forced to play without one of the greatest big men ever. Ginobili will have to go back to Argentina and Parker, well he can bask in the beautiful glow of Eva some where in the French Riviera.

Bosh isn’t as good as Duncan but Calderon and Ford are getting great lanes to drive and it is because of Bosh. Anthony Parker is chucking up a very respectable .433% from 3 point land because of good, team ball movement and double teams that Bosh draws. The team dynamic that Colangelo and Mitchell have created is what makes the Raptors do difficult to match up with. Unfortunately, the Raptors have a hard time beating teams with the same dynamic.

If you have watched the Raptors recent wins you may have noticed that are having a fairly easy time beating teams that focus their games around one player ie. the Lakers. They are also having a hard time beating teams that have a variety of weapons ie. the Pistons. Tonight they are facing a team in the later category. The Bulls have won the past fifteen games against the Raptors and that comes from strong team play. If the Raptors can win tonight it would be a huge moral boost and represent a major team accomplishment. By knocking off the Bulls, the Raptors can take a place as one of the top teams in the East and send a message that they will be tough to beat come playoff time. They will need perimeter defense and good shooting by the supporting cast. I am calling for Bosh to put up 25 and 8.

I do have to say that Anthony Parker did a fantastic job on Kobe on Friday night. If he gave an effort like that every night the Raptors would be a very dangerous team! I am also loving what Mo Pete does in the fourth quarter. He is hitting big shots and playing great D. Did anyone else see him cut off the base line and keep on the away from the net in the fourth quarter? I know his minutes have been cut dramatically but he has turned into a veteran player who can bring a lot of energy off the bench. I hope he realizes that Toronto is on the verge of something great and that he should accept a reduced role to stick around.

You say Goodbye, and I say Hello

2007-02-09T18:44:00.000-05:00

)))))

I want all you Cowboy haters out there to remember today. Because today is the day you can look back to and say “shit, that’s when the Cowboys started really kicking our asses again”.

The most popular Sports Team in North America (aka, the part of the World that Matters) finally choose a Maestro one Wade Phillips - Son of Bum - , (and really, when the old white guy with the pattern baldness wins a position of power, can any of us really ever be surprised?).

I don’t want to gush here, but when the Cowboys are beating the snot out of your favourite team next year – and Chris (Skins), Brad (Fleagles), Seb (incredibly, the Lions, THE LIONS?!), you too Natascha (whoever your team is this week) – you can say that you know a guy that predicted the rising of the Doomsday Dallas Defense.

When Demarcus Ware picks up his first Defensive POY award, you can say you heard it here first.

Mr. Ware just became Unblockable.

(I don’t want to get technical with you guys, but Mr Ware just spent Two years getting strong (265lbs) and fast enough (4.6 40 time) to control offensive Tackles at the LOS one on one, while remembering to split out into the flat and cover speedy RB’s, FB’s HB, and TE’s. Now he is moving into a system that will let him cheat that Tackle and stand over the TE or on the outside shoulder of the Tackle. I am frothing at the mouth thinking about his sack total next year. He might take out two QB’s on his own next year, and in Detroit that might be a blessing.)

But I digress.

What I want to talk about is the passing of the last true pin up girl, Anna Nicole Smith.

She died this week in a lavish hotel room in South Florida. (Had this been another era, she would have been penniless and living in a shack somewhere. I for one think that this is progress).

Anna became famous in the early nineties, the last era where you had to work for your porn. People actually bought magazines with pictures of naked women in them!
Really!
You couldn’t just google ‘sweater meat’ and get some relief whenever you felt like it. She was a stripper who was to go on to be playmate of the year and a model for Guess? Jeans. She then married an 89-year-old oil billionaire. (Will the arrows of Cupid ever be predictable?)

What I loved her for is her honesty. She grew up dirt poor, worked at the shittiest jobs – Fried Chicken joint waitress, Wal-Mart, Stripper – and managed to hit the jackpot by becoming a media circus in high heels. There was never a point where she claimed a yearning to be an actor, or singer, or fashion designer. She knew what was going on.

(I do know what the real tragedy is here: That poor people have little or no chance of escaping their poverty, and that some might say that Anna had to exploit herself to get out of poverty. Those same people might say that Women are exploited and emotionally destroyed without the rewards that Anna enjoyed. Some might even say that her exploitation of herself might have been what killed her in the end. I disagree with the last statement. I think that Anna Nicole knew what she was doing and did the best she could with what she had. The fact that her options were so limited is another topic...)

She was beautiful.
She would let pictures be taken of her while undressed.
She would be paid lavishly for that experience.

Adieu Mademoiselle Anna.
We all loved watching you make your way to the top.

Bryant vs. Oakley

2007-02-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

Get ready for great basketball Toronto because Kobe is coming to town. If he drops 80 again I am going to be sick. I can’t stand Kobe Bryant, he brings out so much hate in my heart. I want to throw him in a Vietnamese torture chamber with an irritated Charles Oakley suffering from hemorrhoids, stir in some fire ants and see what comes out…..Ok, that might be a bit dramatic but I really don’t like the guy. The problem is that he is such a good basketball player.

Kobe Bryant is the best player in the NBA. I’m not talking about who you would start a franchise with if you could choose anyone. If I was playing a game of pickup and had first choice of all the players in the league; Kobe is a no brainer. He has matured from a great scorer into a complete player. He can pass, rebound, defend, lead and his basketball IQ is off the charts. The other Lakers are having career years because Kobe is getting them involved, getting them good shots and making it a team effort. He is taking 7 fewer shots a game but his field goal percentage is the highest it has been since 2001-2002. Kobe is still getting the last shot and he takes what is his but last year taught him once and for all that he can’t do it alone.

My hate of Kobe began when he decided that total domination of the NBA wasn’t enough because he didn’t do it alone. All those rings seem to mean nothing to him because he knows, deep in his heart, that Shaq did that. He ran Diesel and Phil Jackson out of town and then, slowly realized that he can’t win a championship alone. After Shaq made a break for the sunshine state, Kobe tried to fill the leadership void left on the Lakers. While he put up great individual numbers, the Lakers slumped in the standings. It takes a team to win a championship and that has been proven again and again. Very rarely has an individual won a championship for a team and if anyone can think of one please let me know (MJ HAD a team I don't care what anyone says). A very good argument can be made for Dwayne Wade in last years finals but I am not totally convinced. The Spurs, Pistons and Suns all play a team game around superstars of all different types (yes Billups is a legit superstar). The NBA and Adidas have tried to hammer that message home with a set of commercial based around the slogan “It takes 5” and it seems Kobe is listening.

The Raptors are listening. Last game they had both point guards get double-doubles!! I am looking forward to a real challenge for the Raptors tonight. The Lakers are the first top level team they have played in a couple weeks. I want to see Anthony Parker getting up on everyone of Kobe’s shots and get help when he needs it. Bosh will carry the load on both ends and I’m calling 30 points and 10 boards tonight!!

It still hurts....Lakers vs. Raps

2007-02-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

Coming off another impressive win and a ridiculous performance by Bosh, you would think Coach of the Month, Sam Mitchell would be able to get a good night's sleep. But his nightmare kept him up in a cold sweat all night. What would cause such an unpleasant evening?.....81 POINTS!

Two words Mitchy: Double Team

Kobe Bryant visits the ACC tonight with his own dreams of trying to shake off one of his worst shooting games of the year. Last night Kobe shot 5 of 13 for 18 pts while also committing a dismal 8 of his team's 18 turnovers in a loss to the Pistons. Expecting the Raptors to hold #24 to the same numbers is highly unlikely. Kobe is, as always, an MVP candidate and still the best go-to guy in the league. You can be sure he will want to bounce back from yesterday's performance and look to put up big numbers; and who better to do that against than the team he disgraced a year ago.

The Raptors, however, have an MVP candidate in the making of their own. Chris Bosh has established himself as one of the most dominate players in the NBA. While being a force around the basket, Bosh has made it known to all players that he can now step back and hit the outside jumper. So how do you defend him? Well, like all great players, you just kind of hope he has off nights.

As the Raptors continue to make noise around the league and make a name for themselves in the Eastern Conference, these next two games will truly be a test of how far they have come and where they can go. The Lakers( 30-20 ) are a well coached team that can beat anyone on any given night. Only the Raptors best efforts will give them a chance against a team that they are 4-17 lifetime, with their last win coming nearly two years ago.

This will likely be a close game with a sell-out crowd and lots of highlights for fans to be entertained by. And although I love the Raps, I see Kobe being a little too much, again.
Either way, tonight will not only be a great test for Toronto, but a chance at redemption for the embarrassment the team put its fans through last year. Look for Bosh to try and upstage one of the all-time greatest players and make a case for himself as the league's MVP.

Blue Jays will finish third, again!

2007-02-07T17:13:00.000-05:00

With only a week until players report to spring training, questions have already risen about the starting rotation and if J.P. Ricciardi has done enough to make this team a contender again.
Are we destined for another third place finish? Maybe that is a role that all Blue Jays fans must accept; at least for one more year. The Jays are very close to being able to take this division. With the roster as is right now, the Jays would need the bats to do what they should and the starting pitchers to stay healthy. I really just don’t see that happening until ’08. Not because the Jays don’t have a good team assembled, but because the Yankees are really, still better. And even if they are not to begin with, they will certainly buy their way back into contention. Oh ya, and those Red Sox kinda improved too. How are we to compete in a division that has the two highest spenders in baseball? Will Teddy “Ballpark” Rogers ever give J.P. $200 million a year to spend? Probably not…and we shouldn’t get our hopes up. Although, he has been wetting our appetites and raising payroll every season over the last four years. He has made major improvements to the SkyDo..err..Rogers Centre, to give it more of an American baseball feel. He has even showed up to a few games here and there! This all coming from the man who once saw Carlos Delgado walk on four pitches and asked “Who is that?” “That is the man we pay $16 million a year.” “Why are we paying him so much? He didn’t even swing the bat!”

Okay J.P., our fate is in your hands.

The Rotation

1. Roy “Doc” Halladay- RHP
If the best pitcher in baseball gets at least 35 starts, 20-22 wins and a Cy Young is his.
2. A.J. Burnett- RHP
Health will always be an issue, but a nasty, 98mph fastball is fun to watch and should be good enough for 16 wins.
3. Gustavo Chacin- LHP
Being scary looking doesn’t make you a scary pitcher. I’ll be surprised with 14 wins.
4. John Thomson-RHP
Could provide some valuable innings. He did win 14 games in ’04 with the Braves. He’ll give us 12.
5. Tomo Ohka- RHP
Will start the season as number 5, but look for another busy year for this position from guys like Janssen, Marcum, Towers and Zambrano.

The Line-up

1. Reed Johnson-LF
Left is all his now with the Cat gone. Look for him to lead the league in getting beaned and be one of the best players on the Jays in ’07.
2. Alex Rios-RF
Could still get traded early on. In the meantime, look for his power numbers to increase along with his running.
3. Vernon Wells-CF
I usually dislike guys coming off massive contract signings( $126 million for 7 yrs ), but look for V-dub to carry this team on both sides of the field.
4. Troy Glaus-3B
I just don’t trust this guy’s knees. 30 and 100 should be there, but he’s gotta bat better than .250 for me to be a fan.
5. Frank Thomas-DH
He went from a base salary to over 9 million a year. If he even gets close to last year’s numbers, J.P. will save face.
6. Lyle Overbay-1B
Smart move locking this guy up for another 4 years. Who wouldn’t want this guy batting sixth in their order?
7. Greg Zaun-C
After negotiating is own contract and wearing amazing suits on TV during the playoffs, the real leader of the team finally comes in as the number one catcher.
8. Aaron Hill-2B
No O-Dog, but is great student of the game that can play anywhere in the infield.
9. Royce Clayton-SS
This looked like one of the Leafs signings. Closer to 40yrs old but I’d rather him then Russ Adams.

The Pen

Closer: B.J. Ryan- LHP
• Look for another All-Star performance from the man who runs out like Wild Thing.
Set-up: Brandon League-RHP
• Guys who tattoo their last name across their backs can throw hard. This Hawaiian throws 100mph
Mid and Long Relief:
• Jason Frasor and Scott Downs will again be the go-to guys here. The rest are young but with plenty of upside.

Final Standings

TEAM WINS LOSSES GB

NY Yankees 103 59 --
Red Sox 96 66 7
Blue Jays 94 68 9

A Little Bit of Love

2007-02-07T14:22:00.000-05:00

Looks like the American sports reporters have finally noticed what is happening here in Toronto. Have a look around the big sports websites today and you will see Bosh and the Raptors everywhere. Ian Thomsen on CNN/SI, ESPN.com, NBA.com and www.realgm.com all have articles about the recent Raptor success. These are the same haters that picked Toronto to finish 13-15th in the Conference. These are the same haters that bad mouthed Villanueva/Ford trade and now these haters are falling over themselves with praise. They all want to be the first one to recognize the Raptors and the amazing work done by the entire organization….bums.

Maple Leaf Sports Entertainment, owners of the Leafs and Raptors, is by no means a great company. They have made it impossible for the middle class to see a game and are starting to phase in both Leafs and Raptors TV to make even more money. I understand that it costs a lot of money to run a professional sports franchise but I don’t appreciate feeling like I am being taken advantage of.

The one thing Larry Tannenbaum and MLSE have done is put smart people in the power positions. John Ferguson knows hockey and he will be a good GM once he forces himself to commit to rebuilding the Leafs. Brian Colangelo’s resume speaks for itself. He is an excellent manager who has a clear blueprint for a NBA franchise and isn’t afraid to make the tough decisions. Sports commentators and pundits around the league knew that he would make the Raptors good but no one thought that it would be this year.

The team has gelled extremely quickly for a couple of reasons. Anthony Parker, Jose Calderon and Jorge Garbajosa are seasoned professional basketball players. Most American sports writers seemed to think that because they because they haven’t played a 120 NBA games between them, that it would take a while to adjust. It is this kind of thinking that has resulted in poor performances by US National teams in recent international competitions. Calderon has won a major international championship, how many has James won? These guys know basketball and they know how to be a good teammate. They don’t buy into the superstar mentality that has plagued NBA teams. Iverson is a living legend. How many NBA championships has he won? Garnett? Pierce? A Shaqless Kobe? Colangelo believes in a team and has brought in like minded players. From All Star, Chris Bosh, down to bench warmer Darrick Martin, this is a team that plays together.

I am looking for another win for the Raptors tonight. Bosh is going up against Dwight Howard and should do well. I am looking for Bosh to score 25 with 10 boards. He will need to get to the line in this game and hopefully force Howard onto the bench with foul trouble. If the Raptors can force the Magic to turn the ball over as much as they usually do, this should be an easy W.

Prince. Veni Vidi Vici.

2007-02-05T16:19:00.000-05:00

He arose through the rain and fireworks, in the middle of the male/female mash up symbol that he made famous during his legal battle with his former record label. His hair was tied up Jemima style, with a big sloppy bow in the front. He wore a teal high collared suit with an orange – bright orange – shirt. It was a sartorial choice that could only be called conservative when worn by Prince. You heard the Queen classic ‘We will Rock You’ in the background. The message was clear.

Prince was going to fuck with our heads.

Again.

He was the weird star in the eighties – (just look at the trouble wikipedia has in trying to classify his style).
When the rest of North America was loving Michael Jackson and sucking up every hair band the labels could trudge out, Prince Rogers Nelson was doing what he has always done; standing apart from the pack, and showing us – graphically at times - what we were scared to admit.
He had hit after hit – When Doves Cry, Purple Rain, 7, Little Red Corvette, I would Die 4 U, and more than I could possibly fit here.

He started in with ‘Lets Go Crazy’, and pranced up and down the stage as if it wasn’t pouring rain and striking lightening. His Twin Dancers - Maya and Nandy McClean - bracketed his moves while displaying what might be the best hair tossing by dancers in a live performance. (Twin dancers, as in real Twins. Hot real Twins. This is the same guy who wrote ‘Darling Nikki’. Like anyone else could command a stage with twin dancers doing an eleven minute dancing orgasm.)

As he moved into his next song, incredibly, a marching band joined him on the field. His music amplified by the worlds largest horn section, this performance began to gather energy. He went into a groove that started with ‘Baby I’m A Star’ and worked in ‘Proud Mary’ and ‘All Along The Watchtower’ while displaying some one handed guitar magic. Shrieking with the androgynous glee that so attracted and confused us years ago he was rolling now. When he did stole the Foo Fighters ‘Best of You’ and made it his own, you could see that he had the crowd transfixed.

Then came what you knew had to come. With the rain pouring down, you heard the opening of what I consider to be the best song written in the twentieth century: Purple Rain. He strode into his ballad, and the crowd lit their lighters like it was, well, like it was nineteen ninety-nine.

Truth is that ‘Purple Rain’ wasn’t the biggest hit off the album – or movie – of the same name. It never even made it to Number One on the Billboard chart that Prince shared with Michael Jackson in the eighties. But when you see him perform it live, you know that part of him is forever trapped inside of, and set free by this song. It came at a time when all his his other offerings were a legendary mix of raw eroticism and James Brown funky. But this song, with it’s tender lyrics and honest motive was different. Out of the cauldron of raw sex and eros that Prince reveled in at that time, ‘Purple Rain’ was immaculately born.

The lyrics – as always – don’t make literal sense. There is no shared understanding as to what the ‘Purple Rain’ is. But somehow, magically, everyone feels the passion he is trying to convey. It is the ghost in the machine of this song, at once incomprehensible and universal, and forever impossible to describe. It is only possible to feel this song, as you cannot ever understand it.

When the guitar solo came in and the huge billowing image of Prince was projected on it, the crowd was in his hands. The guitar solo itself, a mixture of holler and call back rhythms that have been a part of rock and roll since the Juke joints of the twenties, was a thing of beauty. In the torrential rain, he played it as if we had never heard it before; the call, the guitar wail, the answer and then the refrain.

The screen comes down and Prince asks the crowd if we want to sing tonight, and the answer is a resounding yes. We all know this part, the wailing at the end of the song. We know not because we know the notes or have the voice to sing it. We know it because we feel it.

Prince sang two bars and then tossed his mike aside and let the crowd do what it was dying to do.
He guided them there, and then he let them sing.
In the Purple Rain.

Weekend Wrap Up

2007-02-05T14:15:00.000-05:00

So ends another year of the NFL and Fox can put Terry Bradshaw and Mike Ditka back into storage, the cheerleaders can go back to their day jobs and Peyton Manning can finally relax. He will never again be labeled a loser or the guy who is unable to win the “big game”. I am happy that he has won his championship. He knows that he will need to win more than one championship if he wants to be considered among the NFL quarterback greats at least now he won’t be another Jim Kelly.

I am not going to recap yesterday’s game or even give my opinions……No, I can’t resist; I have to say something, just one thing. Someone paid Rex Grossman off. Someone got to him, someone mean and scary, someone who Grossman believed would do what he said. What was the threat? Who knows; but it was serious enough for Grossman to play the worst game ever played by quarterback in a Super Bowl. Prince could have thrown better passes….PRINCE!!! That was disgusting; I am embarrassed for Bears fans.

It was a great weekend for sports. The NHL and NBA made the clever decision to schedule games Sunday afternoon. This allowed sports fans to turn off the endless Super Bowl pre-game show and enjoy a full day of live sports. The Raptors ripped into the Clippers pouring in 122 points and shooting around 75% in the first half. It’s hard to find too many problems with the way they are playing right now, my only complaint would be that they are getting beat up on the offensive boards. The Clippers kept themselves in the game by out rebounding Toronto 13-3 on the offensive glass. At the same time, the Nets were choking one up against the Hawks, I love to see Carter lose.

The hockey this weekend was particularly good. Every game I saw seemed to be in fast forward and the on ice product was excellent. I can only attribute this to the fact that most players had 5 days off due to the All Star break. The NHL should seriously consider reducing the number of games. When players are rested the game is more exciting for the fans and there will be fewer injuries.

Some personal highlights from this weekend action include Sundin giving Emery an earful after he scored. Gaborik going five hole on Cujo for his second straight game winner. Crosby coughing up the puck in OT was a great example of what happens when one player tries to win a team game. Sid the Kid is great but that move he tried was just plain stupid and judging by the look on his face afterwards, he knew it.

Raptors vs Hawks Preview

2007-02-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

Raptors are set to throw down in Hotlanta tonight. In the past couple years this match up has been a guaranteed sleeper. They were two teams with nothing to play for and no superstars to watch. Fans would spend the game their numbing their brains with over priced beer, watching saggy boobed cheerleaders do the Macarena. But no longer Raptor fans!

The Raptors and Hawks are two young teams on the up and up. Both have legitimate young superstars, a strong cast of supporting players and bright futures. Their games are exciting and there is a healthy rivalry growing between these two teams. They play with a self respect that wasn’t there in the past. They are demanding more from themselves every night and are learning how to win. This isn’t a Knick-Heat playoff game but there is a sense that both teams step up their games when they meet.

The Raptors are rolling along right now and the won 3 of the monthly awards handed out by the NBA. Bosh was the much deserved player of the month. He shot .547 from the field, had 137 boards and only scored 24 less points than D Wade! Andrea Bargnani won rookie of the month honors. He had a great month but still isn’t a lock for Rookie of the Year. Sam Mitchell pulled a Homer and was awarded with coach of the month honors. That isn’t going to save his job and nor should it. Mitchell will be a good coach someday but he needs more experience.

I am predicting a Raptor win tonight. Bosh will drain 25 points and 10 boards. I want to see T.J. Ford bring his “A” game tonight and get some time on the floor with Calderon. Rob, what do you think? Lets hear your predictions on tonight. You’re getting called out buddy!

National Campaign

2007-02-01T16:38:00.000-05:00

There is an undeniable murmur of excitement building in the USA right now.
People are jockeying for position and campaigning in an attempting to gain the attention of the Nation. All in order to jump into that all important position – one of the most important positions in the Western World in fact – a position that only one position can hold.

This position is one that makes enormous demands on the successful person, so much so that most wonder why they put themselves through the ordeal. But nonetheless, people are jumping into the melee willy nilly. (God I have been waiting so long to get willy nilly into a sentence that I think I just got wood. No wait, that’s my belt buckle.)

Yes I’m talking about the Head Coaching position for the Dallas Cowboys.

I will understand if you thought that I was referring to the race to replace Dubya Bush in the White House, that marathon of willful mendacity. That orgy of branding. No, sorry, wrong position. I’m not talking about the position where you take orders from the Bilderberg Group (the shadowy cabal of Billionaires and World leaders who meet in secret) , I’m talking about the position where you take orders from Jerral Jones, (Oklahoma Billionaire who holds many press conferences).

In fact, the two positions have many similarities: They are at the top of their respective professions.

The USA is Top Dawg on this planet, no two ways about it. They are world leaders in terms of cultural influence, financial strength, and military power.
The Presidency of the United States is the shizzle in terms of American Political Power (and the perhaps in terms of World Political Power for that matter.) You instantly become the most recognizable face in the world. Even those who hate you know your every utterance.

Similarly the Dallas Cowboys are the crème de la crème in the Sporting World. Fully five of the top rated Television shows from 2006 involved the Dallas Cowboys.

(I might have just made that up. Like anyone can get more people in front of the T.V. than American Idol. The appeal is irresistible. It’s like watching a car crash or halitosis on a hot girl. You want to turn your head away, but…..)

The Cowboys were in four of the top 12 sporting events in North America for the year 2006. They are the biggest draw and the most valuable sports franchise in the highest rated league in the world. A league with a 4 BILLION dollar per year television deal.

(Wait, What’s that noise? Oh the Soccer fans are making noise? Shaddup already. Every four years the people in North America take a peek at footy while the flags are waving and then they go back to sports that are actually exciting. How big is that television deal for the African Soccer League? The South American League?
Yeah. I thought so. Stop bugging me already and go back to work at the call center.)

Case in point; who is the only team that could even make the headlines with a marathon like search for head coach? During Super Bowl week?!? That’s right. The Cowboys.

So in that spirit, I thought I would compare the candidates for both illustrious positions.
The Front Runners

Hillary Clinton/Norv Turner

Same deal: Underwhelming record in previous stints at the top.

Brother Difference: Hillary has the balls to deal with T.O.

Chances: At the front of the pack, but it is early.

Running Second

Barack Obama/Mike Singletary

Same deal: Strong presence, great speakers, possible all timers. Is the United States ready for a Black President? Are the Dallas Cowboys ready for a Black Head Coach?

Brother Difference: Obama will get less death threats if chosen for the position.

Chances: We can only hope people, we can only hope.

Best of the Rest

Rudi Giuliani/Wade Phillips

Same Deal: Pattern Baldness oozes wisdom and confidence.

Brother Difference: Rudi won something in New York State.

Chances: Old White Guy wins position of power. Hmmm, I think I have seen this before.

Longshots

Joe Biden/Gary Gibbs

Same Deal: They both have a little crazy in their eyes don’t they?

Brother Difference: Two words – Comb over.

Chances: Biden? For President? C’mon!!! Maybe to help finish off a keg or something. A guy named Gibbs, coach of the Cowboys?? Right. Next you’ll tell me that Bill Parcells is going to coach the Cowboys.

Snowballs Chance in Hell

John Edwards/Jason Garett

Same Deal: Nice Hair Guys!

Brother Difference: uhhh……

Chances: How old are these guys? Shouldn’t they graduate college first?

Smile

2007-02-01T14:43:00.000-05:00

It’s a great day to be a sports fan in Toronto. If you watched sports last night you were bound to see the goofy grin of Bosh and the dazzlingly white smile of Sundin. Being a simple man who is easily influenced by others; I tend to take my cues from my favorite athletes. When Sundin is smiling it is usually because he has just scored, or the Leafs are winning. I have Sundin in both my hockey pools AND I am Leafs fan so that means when he is happy I am happy. Sometimes I can’t control myself; when I see him lumber over the blue line on a clean break away and put the puck over the goalies shoulder I lose control. Emotions rise up from the under my hate filled heart, I see that huge smile and all I can do is punch the closest waitress. Needless to say when I am forced to watch games at home I focus my joy filled hate into a wall.

Anyone watching the Raptors game last night should agree that the highlight of the night wasn’t the miracle, three quarter court shot by Bosh but the spin move and dunk at the end of the game. That spin was something out of a video game. The defender was still looking at a long necked silhouette while Bosh jamming the ball home. That move almost made me fall off my couch and the scream I let out scared my wife in the other room. It was a great game and Jose Calderon was lights out. He established his shot early and torched the Wizards inside in the second half. I saw a very nervous T.J. Ford riding a bike on the sidelines. Hopefully this will create a healthy competition at point guard and the Raps will benefit from great play from both guys. Parker, on the other hand, chucked up a 3-8 performance….chucker.

Half of my predictions for last night’s game were wrong; Agent 0 was a zero and didn’t put up 40 but the Raps did win. One of my illiterate buddies who reads this site seems to think that I picked the Raps to lose!?!?! I have challenged him to a contest of choosing the winner of each Raptor game. If we both choose the same team then we will devise another category to predict. I am confident that this will prove that he knows nothing about sports (this guy drafted Bill Guerin in our hockey pool!), especially basketball.

So lets hear it Toronto fans, up onto the band wagon. Both teams looked strong in mid-season wins against good opponents. We can all look forward to more smiles!

Raptors Warm Up

2007-01-30T19:05:00.000-05:00

The well rested Raptors square off tomorrow night against a Washington Wizards team that will be hungry for revenge. The Raptors beat Agent 0 and his crew 116-111 on January 7th during one of the unpopular 1 p.m. Sunday games in Toronto a couple weeks ago. The Raptors love those games. Opposing teams usually come into Toronto the night before and go out for a night on the town. They have a couple of drinks, spread some bling around and enjoy the “night life” that Toronto offers. In that whirlwind of booze, boobs and bars they forget that they have to play the earliest game of their season the next day. Come 1 p.m., the well rested Raptors are able to take advantage. There is no way that will happen again tomorrow night.

I am predicting Arenas to drop 40 tomorrow night in a loss to the Raptors. Bargnani will have a big come back game after getting over the flu. Unlike some other people who write on this site, I do not think that Anthony Parker is going to break out or amaze anyone. He has the look of Vince Carter in the jump shot days when he refused to go to the net unless the way was wide open. The league doesn’t need another average three point shooter and neither do the Raptors. We need players driving to the hole, getting into the paint and taking some of the inside scoring pressure off Bosh. When Bosh sets up in the high post the defender has to respect his shot. This opens up the middle but nobody goes there. Note to the Raptors: Bosh can PASS. Go to the hole and let him get you the ball. The Pistons have been doing this with Webber and Hamilton and it has given them another weapon.

SUPER BOWL!!! SUPER BOWL!!! SUPER BOWL!!!

Yes this weekend the Bears (If I hear or read DA BEARS one more time I am going to snap!) and the Colts will square off in what should be a very mediocre game. After a set of playoff games like this year, this Super Bowl would have to fit certain criteria in order for it to be a worthy finish.
1. 50 points from each team including at least one safety for either side.
2. Manning gets knocked unconscious by Urlacher at the end of the second quarter, hits the smelling salts and comes back to lead his team of victory.
3. A Quadruple reverse resulting in a fumble at the 1 yard line, a recovery by the defense for a 99 yard run back.
4. Full frontal nudity during the half time show.

Considering the caliber of the playoffs thus far, I don’t think that this is too much to ask. To be honest I haven’t read much about the Super Bowl this year. I am not interested in Chicago at all and if Indy wins then good for Peyton, otherwise, who cares? Bring on the draft, I think the skins actually have a pick in the first 5 round this year!

Raps vs the Celtics NBDL team

2007-01-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

I was at the game on Friday. Or should I say the exhibition game. At no point did I think they were going to lose.
Okay there was one point.
We spent the last half of the game watching on the live feed at the Ice Bar, cause getting up every six minutes for a refill was getting tired. (Ok, bad enough I had to spend 8 bucks for a foot long hot dog that tasted like rolled corn beef -
seriously, should a hot dog melt on your tongue? How come the 12 oz cup of draft isn't available for sale at Raptors games? Black people don't drink Ex?)

So we drink and talk to some buddies I met at the game and go over how much the team has improved, etc, etc, and then we look at the one screen that had the score as well as the live feed.
Then....Shock! Horror!

The Raps were down by six to Bassy Telfair and the Kandiman!
But then the thing I have been waiting for all year started to happen.

The AP show started.

With the emergence of Chris Bosh, the perimeter is going to be wiiiide open for someone to take advantage of.

But who will it be??????

Andrea is too raw.
The Porno Player Garbajosa fills that position sometimes, but he isn't the athletic enough to fill that role on a regular basis.
MoPete goes hot and Cold and since they didn't re-up with him in the summer, I think he is halfway out the door.
Calderone is fucking WILD!! He is like a Rookie QB trying to force the issue with impossible passes and drives.
Is Fred Jones still on this team?
Is Kris Humphries still getting a paycheck?

No. It has to be Parker. And last night it was him. This guy has a top notch all around game, and a game like this from him was worth the wait.

Flying around the court, his shot dropping like a Tony Romo extra point hold, he did the things that we brought him here to do.

oh yeah the celts......
Looking good for the Oden/Durant sweepstakes.

P.S. Someone compared Garbajosa to JYD. I said yeah, except the part where the porno Player can shoot, pass, dribble, defend, and doesn't have fangs for incisors.

No Love for Serena?

2007-01-26T16:46:00.000-05:00

So I am avoiding work and go to cnnsi to see if the Dallas Cowboy Coaching carnival has added any more drama. I am also looking for the Love for Serena.

See, I remember 1991 when Jimbo Connors took his 39 year old self to the US Open semi finals, dragging out every last emotion out of the crowd to jack himself up to a performance level that he hadn't shown for years. Ol' Jimbo was shaking like a Baptist parishioner catching the spirit in rural Tennessee between every point. (Truth be told I know he probably enjoyed the extra time between points to catch his breath.) The crowd loved him, and every sports story began and ended with his magical run.

So i was looking for some Serena Love. The story writes itself and most sportswriters are lazy muhfuckers who regurgitate puff pieces from Tournament HQ and Pro Teams PR people. So here is a chance to put down a story that has all the needed elements for notability; the underdog rises up and does the impossible, yesterdays champion puts it together and uses the adoring crowd to propel their way to the championship YAYYYYYYY!!! And when i looked at cnnsi? Home of as much Tit as possible on their home page what did I see? An article by some faded Tennis joker on the problems with Womens tennis, because if Serena Williams can get to the finals with a little chunk round her waist then there must be some overarching problem with the entire Sport. Jackass.

BTW, I am fully hypnotized by Serena's ass. That thing needs it's own cell number. (I wonder if she would let me talk to it. Is she coming to the Canadian Open this year?)

Opinions

2007-01-26T16:45:00.000-05:00

Over the years I have developed some strong opinions about certain professional athletes. Many players and teams have contributed to these opinions; I have been betrayed, disgusted, heart broken by some and elated, encouraged and excited by others. This is nothing new to any sports fan, we all have people we love to cheer for and love to hate. Some people like underdogs; some people (band wagon jumpers) like the dynasties and some people feel are born and raised fanatics.

I was raised as a Leafs fan but, like most people my age; I have never seen them play for the Cup. In fact, the only major sports championships in recent Toronto history were won by the Jays while I was abroad. I was baptized a Redskins fan in the 6th grade when they stomped the Bills to win the Super Bowl. I am also a die hard Raptor fan, but I must admit that, like the rest of Toronto, I didn’t pay much attention until V.C. came to town in 1998. Since then, I have stubbornly refused to give up on the Dinos and it finally seems to be paying off.

Seeing as I don’t have much else to write about today, I am going to list my most loved and most hated player currently playing in each of the major sports.

Baseball. Love: Roy Halladay. The poise, the control and the complete domination every game, what’s not to love? He is a consummate professional. If he can stay healthy, he can challenge Santana for the CY Young every year.
Hate: John Rocker. He may not be playing anymore but racism has is unacceptable anywhere.

Football. Love: Clinton Portis. Yes, I am a skins fan, but he is good. The combination of power and speed make him a top 3 running back and the only player out of Denver who can run anywhere.
Hate: Terrell Owens. He tears teams apart, drops balls and loses as many games as he wins. It must have felt good for Garcia to beat the Cowboys this year.

Basketball. Love: Dwyane Wade. He should be called “The Iceman”. He never loses his cool whether he is hitting game winning shots or winning championships. LeBron? Melo? Forget about those guys. Flash is the best player out of that class and top 3 in the league.
Hate: It was Kobe but Carmelo Anthony has taken over. He plays a one dimensional game and maybe the sorriest excuse for a player in the NBA. The fight was over, people were separated and he chooses to throw a sucker punch and moonwalk his way across the floor away from guy who is 5’-7; disgusting. I hope he and Luke Walton play together one day so I can focus all my hate onto one team.

Hockey. Love: Mats Sundin. Come get your chunky!!! He is a solid, two way player who lights up the world when he smiles. You can guarantee that I am happy when he is happy. I know his days in Toronto are numbered and I say to John Ferguson; let him go and win his cup.
Hate: Is Domi still playing? Fine, Jonathan “Cheepo” Cheechoo. This guy is rides coattails harder than Simon Gagne. It is very simple: take away Thornton and he doesn’t score 20 goals.

In the Big Inning.....

2007-01-25T23:54:00.001-05:00

I thought that I would start this with a bit of a sports introduction just so my future rants won’t seem like the ramblings of a madman.

- Emmitt Smith is the greatest running back of the modern age.

(By modern age I mean after the era when Jim Brown ran over entire defenses that were smaller and slower than him).

I don’t need to hear any Barry Sanders crap. He had a couple of all-star linemen with him also and if you add up his negative yards his per carry average doesn’t look so good anymore.

Yes I am a Cowboys fan. (Really it started because of the cheerleaders. But it has evolved from that.)

(By the way have you seen the specs for the new Cowboys stadium??? Mother of God that thing is ridiculous!!! I am trying to put together a cartel to buy a box in that stadium! Who is with me? You just know they are going to get a Super Bowl right after they build the thing. Every big event in the Dallas area will be going there. Don’t send a cheque just yet. Think about it first. Then write me a cheque.)

- My precious Maple Leaf loving childhood was wasted on a team that drafted such luminaries as Fred Boimstruck, Jim Benning, Craig Muni, Darryl Shannon and Gary Nylund. I was forced to watch Bill Derlago as a first line player.

Thanks Harold.

So I feel justified in my Sports Bigamy. That’s right. I’m in love with two teams and I don’t wanna let none of them go.

I am also a Montreal Canadiens fan. Heresy? I don’t care. If you loved hockey as a child in the late seventies and you could either watch the Leafs get pummeled or watch the Habs on CBC French style? Really my duplicity is understandable. (By the way, Patrick Roy is the best goalie in the history of hockey, don’t argue.)

I hate baseball. But there is really nothing else to watch in the summer besides golf, so…

I was there for touch-em-all-Joe in 93. Best fan moment in Toronto history since 1967. Sad, but true. We are two MLB championships away from becoming Philadelphia – a loser sports city if there ever was one. I think you have to go to some loser town in Europe to find a more pathetic sporting history than Philadelphia. Rocky Balboa is the last person from that city in recent history to win anything.

And Basketball.

I became a fan before everyone wanted to be like Mike.

I’m going to the Friday Night no kids all eye candy Game against the Celtics so I will give you a report afterwards.

Go Raps. Make Tron happy.

Making the jump

2007-01-25T16:33:00.000-05:00

Great performance by the Raptors last night!! No, I am not going crazy; yes I watched the same game as you. I saw the Raps get smoked in the first quarter, I saw them shoot 41% from the field and get out rebounded…. again. I also saw a team learn something last night. They learned that you don’t need to give 100% for the whole game to win in the NBA. The Hornets were in the second half of a back-to-back, they got in from Philly late last night and simply aren’t as good as the Raptors. Toronto held out the victory for them and then snatched it away faster than a fat kid reaching for a smartie. For the last 3 minutes of the game Toronto clamped down on defense capping it off with a great block by Calderon on the smaller Bobby Jackson. They came back down the floor and Bosh willed in his 8th 3 pointer of the year and the rest is history.

It is the ability to change gears that separates the great teams and the great players from the rest of the pack. Dallas and Phoenix both have gears that haven’t even been tested yet. Jordan, Kobe and Wade could and can elevate their level of play to a point where they simply. Toronto doesn’t have a Dallas like nth gear, but they are learning and Bosh is developing his over-drive. He can sense when it is his time, he demands the ball and makes plays happen. Last night the fans got on Bosh for missing some free throws which I thought was a little premature and unfair. Bosh finished the night 12-18 and is sitting at 74.8% on the year; those are fantastic numbers from a guy who is 6-10. He also hit his frees at the end of the game when it really counted.

I was seriously disappointed by the Raptor fans at the game last night. Of the meager 14,173 who attended the game, most had left by the time Bosh changed the game. After Devin Brown hit a 3 half way through the 4th quarter the fans started streaming towards the exits and people at home switched over to the NHL All-Star game. Toronto fans, who are second rate at best, need to learn to have a little more faith in the team and stick out the whole game.

Looking around the rest of the league and we see the landscape changing. If a team can bring Pau Gasol to the East it would give them instant legitimacy. He is a great player who knows how to win and can drive a team. He has also been playing in the West against the best big men in the game, he would dominate the poor excuses that make up the centres and power forwards on most Eastern Conference teams. New Jersey isn’t going to win a single game on their west coast road trip and Phoenix isn’t going to lose on their east coast trip. I don’t think that Shaq is going make that much of an impact for the Heat and if Wade doesn’t get some help and get healthy, they aren’t going anywhere in the playoffs, no matter how good Flash is.

All-Star Game

2007-01-24T15:50:00.001-05:00

For the first time in recent memory the NHL will gather tonight to celebrate its brightest young stars and the excitement they are bringing to the league; too bad Leafs fans have nothing to cheer for. Gary Bettman and the rest of the NHL brass are hoping that tonight’s performance in Dallas will show off the new, fast paced, high scoring game; a game they paid a very high price to get. The 2004-2005 lockout severely tarnished its image, burned loyal fans and firmly planted hockey at bottom of the pile in the big 4 North American leagues. Since then, the NHL has worked overtime to try and improve its image as “family friendly” entertainment while still keeping its traditional fan base. The referees are still calling close games, scoring is up (almost 10 players have a legitimate shot at 100 points) and the shootout has to be considered a complete success. Mark Cuban (who should be GIVEN an NHL franchise) recently pointed out that if you take a wider look at the North American audience, the hockey game of the week actually draws more fans than the NBA’s biggest game. That doesn’t mean that hockey will be the next big sport in America, but it is a fact that needs to be publicized. Americans like to watch what they think is popular and no league exploits this better than the NFL. The NFL has created its own super-hype machine that manages to work millions of Americans into a frenzy every Sunday. The NHL has a long way to go to match that and owners like Mark Cuban would help. Tonight’s game will be a big, Texas sized, celebration that the All-Star game is back; even if it is televised on the Versus network.

Meanwhile, here in Toronto, the outlook is bleak. The perennial All-Stars that Leafs fans took for granted are gone and even the great captain didn’t make the 21 man, Eastern Confrence roster. The smooth skating Tomas Kaberle has the honour of representing Toronto this year and likely will be alone in that role for the next couple years. Mats Sundin’s days in a Maple Leafs jersey are numbered and a look further down the roster reveals other no legitimate, All-Star caliber players. Tucker should be released at the end of the year and allowed to spend the rest of his career remembering how the only goal he can score comes from Sundin’s bullet passes. McCabe is one of the most over paid defensemen in the league. He is only a plus 3 and wouldn’t even have 20 points if he wasn’t allowed to play every minute of every power play. The younger players are also taking longer than anticipated to mature. Wellwood looked great playing the shifty centre between the two towers of Antropov and Ponikarovsky, but that entire line can’t stay healthy. Alex Steen and Matt Stajan have both taken steps backwards this year and Raycroft may never be more than an average net minder. These are not the pieces to build a playoff team around, let alone a champion.

To say that Toronto is being left behind in the new NHL would be a drastic understatement. There are some pieces to work with and a great teaching coach to shape a new young team but Maple Leaf Sports Entertainment has to make the only decision left to them; trade away the veterans and start over. The Raptors have done this and have created a positive atmosphere and the fans are buying into it. Any rational Leafs fan knows that they don’t have a chance to win the cup if they continue in this direction. Starting over will give the Toronto hope and may just send a couple players to the All-Star game in the process.

Are you on the Chuckwagon™ yet?

2007-01-23T14:08:00.000-05:00

Being my first post and all, I amassed all 4 of my photoshop skills to bring you something special... bald guy humour. It's super special for me, as I will undoubtedly look very similar in the near future.

More to the point though, do you think Chuck Swirsky is the biggest Raptor fan alive? Personally, I don't think there's any doubt.

Every weekday Chuck submits a post to his blog from wherever he may be: at home, on the road or Dairy Queen. I'm among thousands of other Rap fans who pine away every morning waiting for 'Chuck Checks In' on raptors.com. Topics can include NCAA ball and Rocky movies, but most are Raptor Fan orientated. With his incredible knowledge of modern day basketball and old time ball, Chuck's insights are always accurate, and always unbiased. As well as being the play by play man for the Raptors, the guy has a daily radio show in Toronto. But that's not what makes him special.

What makes Chuck special, and why I'm on the Chuckwagon is his love and respect for all things Raptors.

The guy reads (and responds to most) of the hundreds of emails he gets daily
He takes calls at his office from fans who want to talk ball
He'll take any new season ticket holder out to lunch
He gives shout outs to fans during live telecasts

Seriously... he's insane when it comes to the Raptors, and their fans. He's done more to promote this team than the front office ever could. Those one on one connections we have with him make watching the games more real... as you can turn to your girl during the game and say, "Ya, I talked to my buddy Chuck this afternoon. We're tight." How cool is that?!

As Toronto fans, we're always feeling disrespected and under appreciated in the US. It's important to us to be viewed on par with other teams in the league, and get our just due. Let me say, I'm very proud and encouraged to know that when Chuck goes into LA, Miami or Dallas, he represents all of us with dignity, pride and enthusiasm. Class act indeed. Biggest Raptor fan for sure.

So if you're not on the Chuckwagon yet, git'on over and start reading his blog... give him a call... drop him an email.

Oh... and tell him his buddy Brad says hi.

Raptors vs Bobcats. January 23rd 2007

2007-01-23T12:29:00.000-05:00

This was a must win game for the Raptors and they managed to come through with a very convincing performance. They were the better team from start to finish including a season high 37 points in the first quarter. It was a great start for a team that has really struggled early in games and let clubs stay around a lot longer than they should (ie. recent games against the injury ravaged Bucks and Celtics). They went into the half leading by 6 and game out firing in the third taking it to the Bobcats and out scoring them 21-8 in the quarter. This is what really made me happy.

I remember years of watching the Raptors keeping it close in the first half and coming out in the second looking like they were just waking up from an afternoon nap. They seem to be growing together and developing into a team that can keep games competitive right to the end. They need people coming into the ACC knowing that the game won’t be an automatic W. Their home losses to Dallas and Phoenix reflect this new found competitiveness. I was at the Suns game and the Raps were in it right until the best player in the world decided to take over and seal the victory. Now, the Raptors aren’t that good yet and they have no one close to the caliber of Nash, but they are on the right track. The only players they are going to have under contract in 2009 will be Bosh, Ford and Bargnani. Add swing man and some solid role players and you have the makings of a great team.

It has been hard to be a Raptor fan over the years, but all the screaming at pointless threes and half efforts look like they are finally going to pay off in the years to come. Now all they have to do is convince NBA players that living in Toronto doesn’t mean living in an igloo and getting sweet rims for your dog sled, but that is a different topic.